Non judgmental BDSM discussion. (A SAFE THREAD!)

Since I am the person who started the other thread on BDSM and, unfortunately, used an inappropriate judgmental tone, I hope that this thread will help build bridges between the tickling community and the BDSM community. For a number of people on this board who consider themselves part of both communities, there really is no difference between the two.

For many us, BDSM invokes negative images based largely on our--I am part of "our"--misunderstanding of it.

I am sure some people are asking what on earth I am talking about. BDSM = Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism. It is a relatively new blanket term for many practices.

As a tickle fan, I have admitted that, even though I have no wish to be part of the BDSM scene, there is clearly something of BDSM in me. Although all my tickle experiences and what I continue to look for can be summed up as sexual foreplay and non-sexual horseplay (and thus of short duration), I have indeed fantasized about torture tickling. Since, sadly, I am not ticklish, I can only image what it would be like as a lee. The thought of tickling someone else (who is willing!) for such an extended period does turn me on, however. I have never done it and may never--but that turn on tells me that I am not as innocent as I imagine myself.

So here I am, interested in learning what kinks are all about; I am sure I am not the only one.

As a tickle fan and a gay man, how can I possibly judge someone else's sexuality?

Further, those who feel they have to be quiet among the tickle fans need no longer be quiet.

As I understand it (and I could be wrong), just as we tickle fans find the stimulation of being tickled simultaneously pleasant and unpleasant (more of the former and less of the latter, I would think), people who practice BDSM process pain differently in a sexually-charged BDSM atmosphere. They would still want painkillers after surgery or at the dentist's, however, as they do not actually enjoy pain. Rather, they enjoy the same sexual stimulation as all of humanity.

Think of it this way: Non-BDSM sex includes a few painful practices that are not processed the same way during intercourse as they might be in a non-sexualized environment. Isn't giving someone a hickey, for example, a painful act?

There is also the tremendous psychological satisfaction of power exchange, where people allow themselves to dominate or be dominated by another or others for a pre-arranged period. Everything is worked out beforehand, and all participants have agreed on limits. In the past, I would have said that such people needed serious psychological help. Today, however, I think people who do this and thus dig into and explore hidden areas of their psyches are probably very, very healthy. Isn't what they do the goal of psychotherapy? Aren't they in fact promoting their own mental well being and that of others?

What an interesting topic !!!

I am in both a tickler and a Foltermeister, so I guess I can bring my own little contribution here.

Let's introduce myself first.

I am more intersted in the torture part of BDSM and thus I am not really fond of those latex/leather costumes and iconography. I own none myself and I like it like that. I like ballgags, ropes and - personnal favourite - straps, like most ticklers. From a technical point of view, I am what you could call a hard liner, since my priorities are to really break my partner down, using the different methods as tools to achieve this goal. Thus, those methods do not always include actual pain but are made to be very nerve-racking. Drowning, for example, does not really make suffer but induces a very high level of tension and even dispair and fear.

All my techniques include but are not limited to : cutting, whips, burning, drowning, forced drinking (with a funnel, a personnal favourite), very strong itching powder, electricity shocks (useful to vary the levels of pain). I also practice, since recently, what I call "noise torture", which consists in forcing you victim to listen through headphones to statics and blackboard scratching recordings for at least half an hour. Sometimes, we also simulate rapes. By "simulate", I mean she makes as if she does not consent and I take her by force.

BTW, all my victims so far WILLINGLY AGREED to be treated like this and this will go on like that.

To answer to your interrogations, I see it mostly like a game. A sexual game. This is all meant to satisfy a will I have to act like this and it is the same for my victims. Because I am sexually turned on by that.

Let's point another thing out : some people actually think that those who are into BDSM just can't have an orgasm when they make love the classical way. Just like those foot fetishists who can't do it if they can't keep an eye on the shoes of their girlfriend, on the floor. Well, hust as for fetishists, this is actually true for a really small part of the community but happily not for all. I make love with my girlfriends and only those who have been into a serious relationship have been through my tortures.

GoForTheLaugh said:

As I understand it (and I could be wrong), just as we tickle fans find the stimulation of being tickled simultaneously pleasant and unpleasant (more of the former and less of the latter, I would think), people who practice BDSM process pain differently in a sexually-charged BDSM atmosphere. They would still want painkillers after surgery or at the dentist's, however, as they do not actually enjoy pain. Rather, they enjoy the same sexual stimulation as all of humanity.

Click to expand...

That's true. I will add that imagination plays a great role in all of this. Let me explain, as I have a little story about that. My dentist is a really gorgeous woman and I would have loved to have her crying and begging but she loves her husband so I can only imagine what I could do to her. One day she removed one of my teeth, I felt really excited : the needle, the chair, her wonderful smile... I was turned on. When I got home, with the taste of my blood in my mouth and the painkillers slowly stopping making effect... well, I had waited until it became unbearable before I took some more painkillers, because of the excitment.

You see ? I don't like suffering but even if nothing actually happened between me and her, I wanted to feel the pain cause it was making my fantasy a little more real. All in the head

Tenebrae said:

BTW, all my victims so far WILLINGLY AGREED to be treated like this and this will go on like that.

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That's a very important point, one I hope all the tickle fans hear. It would be equally wrong to force someone who has not consented into prolonged tickling as a lee.

The book that I read recently talked about how there are many ways that people torture themselves to get a natural high; we know that being a lee is one of them. The example in the book was of a long-distance runner pushing himself in incredible pain to complete the run. Then there are people who climb tall mountains with pain shooting through their limbs and the air growing thin. There are also "polar bears," people who swim in freezing cold water. I would not do any of these things, but I do work out and do get a natural high from it. What's the saying? "No pain, no gain."

If you really think about it, is what the S&M sub does really that different?