101 Fun Things To Do At Walmart During The Zombie Apocalypse

[HallKogan]

Let’s try to get to 101.



1. Take all the steak that’s about to go bad and soak it in strong brewed coffee and see if you can get the zombies buzzed.

2. If #1 works, then repeat every day for a week, then stop using coffee. See if they get cranky.

3. Paint insulting slogans about zombies on the glass doors and draw arrows pointing at them. Take pictures.

4. Set up a sound system on the rooftop, and try to recreate Billy Idol’s “Dancin’ With Myself” video.

5. Pretend that you’re a Heel wrestler, and cut promos on the zombies.

6. Pour bacon grease on the zombies, and see if they eat each other.

7. If there’s any zombies left over from #6, pour sugar on them and see how ants react.

8. If #6 and #7 fail to be entertaining, then dump soap on them right before it rains.

9. Find a place where there’s not a lot of zombies, and put marbles all over the ground. Go back to the roof and dangle meat from a fishing pole at attract them there and watch them slip around.

10. If there’s a boat available, put it on the roof. Bring back the fishing pole from #9 and go zombie fishing.

11. Set up a series of big screen TVs, and show all the zombies that video from The Ring. Wait 7 days.

12. If #11 fails, then try to locate a Lament Configuration. Wait for a zombie to solve it.

13. If you attempted the sound system from #4, play “Zombie” by The Cranberries on loop.

14. Stick a fork into the end of an extension cord. Plug in the other end and lower it from the roof.

 

[ticklishmikey]

15. Trap zombies in the ball pit

Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk

 

[HallKogan]

16. Declare yourself to be an ordained minister, and marry the zombies to each other.

17. Wait a year, break the news to them
that you’re a fraud and their marriage is a sham.

 

[HallKogan]

18. Build a series of Home Alone style traps. Let in two zombies, call them Harry and Marv. See how far they get.

19. Build a life sized figure of Chuck Norris, put it full view of the zombies and see how many run away.

20. If #19 fails, build two more. Mr.T & Bruce Campbell

21. Subdue a few zombies, put them in frilly sundresses and big hats and have a tea party.

22. Dress up like a zombie, makeup included. Walk up to the barricade and pretend like they’re inside and you’re outside.

23. Gather up all the mousetraps you can then throw them off the roof into the horde.

 

[HallKogan]

I thought this would be a good a time as any to get this started again and give up something to laugh at.

Let’s see if we can get to 101.

24. If bear traps are available, repeat #23 with them.

25. If it’s freezing cold outside, turn a water hose on them and make zombie-cicles.

26. If #25 is successful, try to shoot them and shatter them like a T-1000. Be sure to say “Hasta la vista, baby.”

27. Declare yourself Store Manager and tell them they’re all banned.

28. Cover the floor of the lobby with griddles, wire them all together to a master switch and let a few of them in.

29. If it’s summertime, sit up on the roof with a magnifying glass and see how many you can light on fire.

30. If the magnifying glass from #29 isn’t efficient enough, build a solar death ray from a tv screen.

31. Paint a few shirts to say “Stupid” and “I’m With Stupid”. Put them on the subdued zombies from #21 who don’t behave at the tea party.

32. Completely ignore what’s going on outside, set up a big screen tv, and just have a movie marathon.

33. Lie to the zombies about being famous, and pretend you’re a movie star. Then tell them you don’t have time for autographs.

34. Pour glue and feathers on them from the roof. Then pretend they’re all roadrunners and you’re a coyote and drop things on them.

 

[Boba Fetish]

35. If he's still alive,Hire Ken Foree to lead any remaining zombies into the Monroeville Mall(Pittsburgh)To give them a tour...In the electronics stores,Play Dawn of the Dead on a loop in the TV-video sections.

 

[HallKogan]

36. If your Walmart sells alcoholic beverages, pour them on the zombies and see if you can get them drunk.

37. If there are any survivors that are Vegan, let them talk to the zombies about converting.

 

[Gothika]

38 poop where ever you please

 

[milagros317]

39. Climb up a ladder and piss on all the zombies below you.

 

[HallKogan]

40. Combine #38 and #39.

41. Call them a bunch of stinky zombies, and complain about the smell.

42. Put up a big sign that says “Zombie Wash $5.

43. Pour gallons of concentrated laundry soap on them, and then spray them with a fire hose.

44. Tell them they all owe you $5. Refuse to talk to them when they don’t pay.

 

[milagros317]

45. Offer them parts in a new movie about zombies.

 

[HallKogan]

46. If they behave during #45, tell them you’ll waive the Zombie Wash fee.

 

[Wesker28]

Phew some people are still sane.

47. Set up a stand in the shop and sell Corona beer.

 

[milagros317]

Phew some people are still sane.

47. Set up a stand in the shop and sell Corona beer.

48. Piss into the beer before you sell it to them. 😛

 

[HallKogan]

48. Piss into the beer before you sell it to them. 😛

49. Offer them listerine to wash out their mouth after.

50. Pee in the listerine.

 

[milagros317]

51. Tell them that their hair is greasy and insist that they use shampoo.

52. Sell them shampoo.

 

[HallKogan]

51. Tell them that their hair is greasy and insist that they use shampoo.

52. Sell them shampoo.

53. Pee in the shampoo.

 

[milagros317]

54. Assure them that some of your best friends are zombies as you load a semi-automatic shotgun.

55. Shoot them down like rabid dogs with the shotgun.

 

[HallKogan]

56. Don’t shoot them all, pick out a few and call them your friends.

57. Realize that they’re lousy friends, and shoot them anyway.

 

[milagros317]

58. Give them free soap.
59. Shoot more of them while they're washing up.

 

[HallKogan]

60. Go on vacation inside the store and completely ignore them for two weeks.

61. Pick out a zombie that you might have found attractive before the outbreak. Call it your girlfriend/boyfriend.

62. If you see your pick from #61 with another zombie, shoot them for looking at your gf/bf.

 

[milagros317]

63. Give them free deodorant.

64. After they use it, tell them that they still stink.

 

[HallKogan]

65. Raid the pharmacy, see if you can mix up a combination of medicine to cure a zombie.

66. If #65 is successful, congratulations! You just saved the world. You’re in a Walmart go have some fun you earned it.

67. If your from #65 is successful, remember your pick from 61? [emoji6]

68. If if didn’t work and you killed the zombie, shake it off. [emoji2369]

69. Break into the claw machines and take one free prize from every time they screwed you.

70. Put the following items in a blender: Fish, mayonnaise, buttermilk, and your dirtiest underwear. Pour it into some balloons. Let it sit in the sun for a week. Drop them on the zombies.

 

[milagros317]

71. Eat five hot dogs.

72. Vomit on the zombies.

 

[HallKogan]

73. Gather up all the mirrors and put them at the entrance. If they think there’s a zombie horde coming maybe they’ll leave.