solescratcher99
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2003
- Messages
- 382
- Points
- 0
This is kind of tickling related because I'm into it but it's also some advice I gave my to friends who are still dating and would like to hear if anyone else has a similar approach. They say it actually makes sense to say this to most women because it's let them know, without them having to disclose too much on their end, if you're someone they'd be sexually compatible with.
Basically, the advice is two-fold:
First, I always slip into the conversation my 5 hard no's. These are things I'm absolutely not interested in doing and would never be open to.
1. No humiliation (throwing pies in the face, cucking, age regression etc.)
2. No violence (I mean fantasy and real life violence: things like stomach punching, slapping, choking or rape fantasies, etc.)
3. No bodily fluids (no blood or scat fetishes, no pissing fetishes, no spitting, etc.)
4. No other people (no open relationships, polyamory, etc.)
5. None of the stuff that should go without saying (animals, children, abuse, etc.)
Secondly, you have to have a why to what you're into. Just saying you're into XYZ doesn't make this person comfortable with your sexual preferences. You need to let them know what's going on in your mind so they have a better perspective of your personality.
For example, aside from intercourse, I'm also into feet and tickling. I usually keep it simple at first and say something like, "tickling is a pro-social form of communication, so I use it to make me feel more connected with someone" or "it's a super quick way to ramp up the physical intimacy".
The most common objection I hear to this is "well, what if the person doesn't want to be tickled?" I usually reply with "that's a form of torture and falls into the humiliation category. I'm not into humiliating people. Granted there is a certain thrill about it but when it's someone I like I don't want to hurt them."
So, how do you talk about sexuality with your significant other? Do you just chop it up to "uh, I don't know I just do" or do you have a better understanding of yourself and your desires? Personally, I think this needs to become common practice in dating because too often I hear stories about someone getting emotionally involved with someone without knowing if they're sexually compatible in the first place.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? Does this list make sense? What would you personally add/remove from it?
Basically, the advice is two-fold:
First, I always slip into the conversation my 5 hard no's. These are things I'm absolutely not interested in doing and would never be open to.
1. No humiliation (throwing pies in the face, cucking, age regression etc.)
2. No violence (I mean fantasy and real life violence: things like stomach punching, slapping, choking or rape fantasies, etc.)
3. No bodily fluids (no blood or scat fetishes, no pissing fetishes, no spitting, etc.)
4. No other people (no open relationships, polyamory, etc.)
5. None of the stuff that should go without saying (animals, children, abuse, etc.)
Secondly, you have to have a why to what you're into. Just saying you're into XYZ doesn't make this person comfortable with your sexual preferences. You need to let them know what's going on in your mind so they have a better perspective of your personality.
For example, aside from intercourse, I'm also into feet and tickling. I usually keep it simple at first and say something like, "tickling is a pro-social form of communication, so I use it to make me feel more connected with someone" or "it's a super quick way to ramp up the physical intimacy".
The most common objection I hear to this is "well, what if the person doesn't want to be tickled?" I usually reply with "that's a form of torture and falls into the humiliation category. I'm not into humiliating people. Granted there is a certain thrill about it but when it's someone I like I don't want to hurt them."
So, how do you talk about sexuality with your significant other? Do you just chop it up to "uh, I don't know I just do" or do you have a better understanding of yourself and your desires? Personally, I think this needs to become common practice in dating because too often I hear stories about someone getting emotionally involved with someone without knowing if they're sexually compatible in the first place.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? Does this list make sense? What would you personally add/remove from it?
