5 things newbie D&D players say

[ChosenofMystra]

1.Ranger wearing plate mail in a misty echoing crypt: "I try to
move silently"

2.Apprentice to mage "By the way master, I finally shot that pesky
owl that kept following you around."

3.Party fighting a band of thieves in a 4X3X4m room, when the mage
says, with serious tone: "Hell, I cast a fireball,
THAT'll teach'em."

4.Party laying on a hillside spying on the Imperial Army of Darkness
commanded by Gul the Necromancer himself (+/- 10,000 troops)
"Hmmm, if we attack from the rear, do we get bonuses on
our attack roll??"

5.Paladin as the lone survivor of a party of 7 facing an army of
evil and undead creatures, which just slaughtered his fellow
adventurers: "Huh, why should I run? I got protection from
evil in a 15ft radius, THEY can't touch me" (last words).

 

[ticklishgamer]

Haha! Very nice!

 

[Mastertank1]

Some D&D related t-shirts

Chaotic Evil means never having to say you're sorry!

More hit points than you could POSSIBLY imagine!

Warning; dungeon master whimsical when drunk!

Pardon me while I change into something more formidable.

I'm NOT a mercenary; killing is just my hobby.

Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Troll seeks Elven maiden; object miscegenation.

I worship Baal and Dagon; gimmee that OLD time religion!

It's an ENCHANTED Thompson Submachine gun. I call her Orcsbane.

Servant Of Chaos; I'll try anything once!

Why are Pixies chaotic? Brownian Motion!

That's all the ones I still remember. As a DM I used to send ticklemonsters after female player/characters, with extremely high saving rolls required to escape!

If you read my fiction, Lord Mikran The Hammer started life as my first ever D&D character, about 45 years ago.

 

[ChosenofMystra]

Chaotic Evil means never having to say you're sorry!

More hit points than you could POSSIBLY imagine!

Warning; dungeon master whimsical when drunk!

Pardon me while I change into something more formidable.

I'm NOT a mercenary; killing is just my hobby.

Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Troll seeks Elven maiden; object miscegenation.

I worship Baal and Dagon; gimmee that OLD time religion!

It's an ENCHANTED Thompson Submachine gun. I call her Orcsbane.

Servant Of Chaos; I'll try anything once!

Why are Pixies chaotic? Brownian Motion!

That's all the ones I still remember. As a DM I used to send ticklemonsters after female player/characters, with extremely high saving rolls required to escape!

If you read my fiction, Lord Mikran The Hammer started life as my first ever D&D character, about 45 years ago.

LOL! Those are some good ones! Thanks for adding onto the list 🙂 I'll have to check out your fiction sometime.

 

[Mastertank1]

Mikran stars in;

LOL! Those are some good ones! Thanks for adding onto the list 🙂 I'll have to check out your fiction sometime.

The Old Scholar,
The Old Scholar Part 2: Celebration
Mikran At The Fane Of The Magna Mater
Stalking The Ticklish Vampire

Lemme know what you think. They are all in the post stories forum, and also in my story archive.
(Just BTW, Mikran started out as "The Unquenchable" before he became "The Hammer".)