A Cry For Help

[TheJacques]

This is going to be a rant of sorts, but I would deeply appreciate any and all helpful feedback.

I am crippled in thought tonight. I am thinking about my tickle fetish and how it has both fascinated me and frustrated me. Right now I am incredibly depressed about the whole thing. If tickling were a religion, then my faith in it all is spiralling downwards.

Can any of you relate to my following dilemma:

I have loved to tickle women ever since I can remember. Like a lot of you, the female feet, belly, underarms, etc. have been areas of deep passion and wonder and immense excitement. For me personally, there is nothing sexier on a woman's body than her midriff. This largely outweighs any thoughts or focus on, say, her breasts or between her legs, but I fear too much so. I am solely turned on by a woman's ticklish spots.

Sometimes I really wish I could be a stereotypical male and just drool away and lose all sense of decorum at the sight of nipples, but instead, I am a man who is drawn to sexual action ONLY IF tickling is involved. I have only been able to actually act upon some tickling passions with just a few girls, but they were more friends of mine and not of an attractive quality where I would want to fully enrapture them with sexual fervor. And those of immensely attractive qualities with whom I've dated or had one-night-moments with were hardly ticklish and/or truly despised being tickled (and sorry, folks, I'm not one of those guys who tickles regardless. In my book, the lady should enjoy it even in the midst of her desperation).

But it seems to me that it is tremendously hard to find that perfect tickle-lover. I have had some wonderfully sweet and caring girlfriends, of amazing attraction on so many levels, but they could not fulfill my tickling needs. And then I pause and angrily ask myself, "Well why the hell do you NEED to tickle???? WHY can't you just indulge in simple sex as is popularly portrayed or done?"

But that's just simply not me. For better or worse (although right now it feels totally worse) I am a man who is intensely aroused when he gets to tickle. Right now, I feel childish and repressed for being that way. Right now, I do not like my fetish. Right now, I feel so misunderstood and desperate for either the perfect tickle-partner to present herself or to find a way to renounce tickling all together.

I mean, if you think about it, asking for a partner to love being tickled by you is practically ludicrous. I simply adore tickling women but I know for certain that I'd hate to be tied up and tickled. And just how many women out there truly do love being tickled, but, like the majority of us, are too embarrassed to admit it? And why must we feel so closeted about it all? Is it because we also identify tickling as a harmless thing we did as kids, and thus to think of it sexually is unnerving or silly? I feel we tickle-lovers can be even more closeted than, say, a homosexual who fantasizes about straight sex with the same gender. I'm closeted about an action that is not necessarily sexual by nature, but to me is amazingly so, and the action itself is not even sex. My fetish exceeds the desire of straight sex, and for so many women I've met that can be terribly unfulfilling.

So, I write to you now in a state of stuck emotion, leaning towards anger, and at myself. Am I being too hard on myself? I know some of you might want to offer the cliche saying (though even I will admit it does sometimes hold true) "be patient...you'll find the right one someday." I feel like there is so much to find in a romantic companion. It's bad enough that I still have a world of emotional/social needs to be fulfilled in a romance, let alone tickling-compatibility.

God damn it...for the first time in quite some time, I really hate my tickle fetish.

What do you guys think? Are any of you in a similar state of sadness? More importantly, do any of you have any advice? I could use it.

Thank you for reading.

 

[theObsessed1]

I am solely turned on by a woman's ticklish spots.

The Psychological journals refer to this as paraphilia...preference of other things to "sex". You aren't alone in that department. There are a number of us who prefer tickling to sex...or are simply much more aroused with that included in the mix. Though traditional thought would see something wrong with it, I personally don't. Provided it doesn't interfere with the freewill and safety of another, I think we should follow our hearts. If tickling is truly the thing that gets you revved up, then my advice would be to accept it and not try to fight it. It's the fighting of it that makes us miserable. Being involved in a community like this helps. There are plenty who will understand.

In my book, the lady should enjoy it even in the midst of her desperation).

Here, here!

For better or worse (although right now it feels totally worse) I am a man who is intensely aroused when he gets to tickle. Right now, I feel childish and repressed for being that way. Right now, I do not like my fetish. Right now, I feel so misunderstood and desperate for either the perfect tickle-partner to present herself or to find a way to renounce tickling all together.

Boy, can I relate to that. There've been MANY times when I've felt that way. Though tickling is primarily a fun thing for me, it can be very arousing at times. I can't tell you how many times I've thought/felt the way you're describing. It's an aweful feeling. I wish there were something I could say to ease the pain.

I mean, if you think about it, asking for a partner to love being tickled by you is practically ludicrous.................And why must we feel so closeted about it all? ..............I'm closeted about an action that is not necessarily sexual by nature, but to me is amazingly so, and the action itself is not even sex. My fetish exceeds the desire of straight sex, and for so many women I've met that can be terribly unfulfilling.

It only seems ludicrous because we spend our lives listening to society screaming "conform". It's not the norm. So, it seems weird...or even wrong. We buy into that and feel we have to hide it. If it's as strong as you say, I wouldn't even try to leave it behind. Too many guys (and gals too) try to do that, only to be miserable about it later on.

Am I being too hard on myself?...I feel like there is so much to find in a romantic companion. It's bad enough that I still have a world of emotional/social needs to be fulfilled in a romance, let alone tickling-compatibility..

Are you being too hard on yourself? I'd say yes. But, only you know that for sure. There IS much more to a relationship that just the physical. But, if you feel that strongly about the physical, then looking for anything less is just going to leave you dissatisfied. I waited for years to find someone with whom I could share this. It sucked. But, it was definately worth the wait. I now have a life companion with whom I share plenty of tickle fun.

God damn it...for the first time in quite some time, I really hate my tickle fetish.

I hear that. It's never easy. Hang in there. And stick around. There are plenty here with whom you can share thoughts/feelings about this. It helps to be able to talk aobut these things.

Hazel

 

[ScottTickle888]

I understand your frustration as well. I have never had a girlfriend who has been "interested" in tickling, and they have all immensely disliked being tickled as well. It is a frustrating thing, but I agree that it isnt something you should continue to beat yourself up over. We like what we like and theres not a whole lot one can do to change that. If you like tickling, enjoy it, and talk to the people of this community. It's a good place to vent yourself on the subject. I recently had a girl who absolutely detested being tickled and it was very saddening to me as well because I enjoyed it so much and I'm also not one to keep tickling a girl who hates it. But, try attending some of the gatherings through the TMF, there a great way to meet people and to get some tickles in with a group of people who all enjoy it. Enjoy life, its too short to waste it in sorrows. You'll be alright.

 

[MasterTT]

Quite an interesting point in my book, I can not relate, per say, but I think I can empathize a bit if that makes sense. So I am going to give some advice that may be unpopular, but I think is fairly accurate. For one thing you need to HONESTLY prioritize your feelings. If you can just give tickling up, and it is a cause of so much distress, if you have the capability to just turn it off, then perhaps you should. More likely I would guess, you can not, at least not without some kind of outside aid (and if it has honestly become so destructive to your well being that you need it I suggest that as well) but if you can not or do not wish to... as I would not... you need to stop thinking of that as an option. You need to stop thinking in terms of normal because normal is a ludicrous term anyway. There are many ways in which our natural selection process limits our potential mates. I'm a lot more open than a lot of people I know in all areas of selection, but I do require ticklishness, and submission at least to the level of tolerance. That's my thing. Other people, really are more attracted to... long legged redheads, or what have you. Society imposes certain rules on us, and most people buy into them. I think that's a large part of what is going on here... I mean, you use homosexuality as an example, but I have rarely heard of a tickle lover being kicked out of their church, their family, shunned by their community and beaten half to death outside of a bar because they liked tickling. The advantage they have over you is their openness. I as a straight man, can easily differentiate my potential sexual partners from those of a gay man (unless of course its a somewhat dark nightclub somewhere like Miami, I am of course referring to cross dressers, not saying men in Miami are effeminate)... and those potential sexual partners of a gay female would usually let you know fairly openly. Girls who are ticklish, and like being tickled did not evolve with a little feather delicately placed on their shoulder to let you know. They rarely even secondary social characteristics. I think your problem is that if you want something so specific, you MUST be open an honest about it... but also, don't let yourself feel bad about it. Usually if you see someone and they have a great personality, and they are a great friend, but you hold no sexual attraction to them you don't (at least I don't and don't know many people who do) sit around in agony because you can't have a relationship with them. The difference is unlike sexual attraction you don't know instantly, 1) is she ticklish, 2) does she like being tickled. Well if you don't just jump into bed with people willy nilly, then you can test it. I mean you know the girl well enough to touch her before you sleep with her I hope... so, if you don't want to be direct and have a discussion about tickling (I don't recommend it, "Hi, I'm MTT and I have a predisposition for tickling girls for sexual arousal" I imagine works about as well for picking up women as the old "space pants" line) try instead, just tickling her a few times. If she bites your head off, just look at it as an exclusionary thing, and MOVE ON, without guilt. There are millions more women in the world. Is this shallow, sure in a sense... but you don't feel bad if you reject a woman because though she was attractive you find out that she is incapable of discussing anything but Malibu Barbie, and she's celibate to boot, that's an extreme example but its the same principle. We eliminate potential mates for literally hundreds of reasons, a large part of the show Seinfeild was about just this thing, and we don't feel undue guilt about it... that is where your being to hard on yourself, that is where you need to let yourself off the hook. Unless you have some other problem other than tickling there are SO many, interesting, fun, beautiful women in the world I promise you if you stop and take notice you will stand in wonder. If you keep blinders on and say why can't I make it work with this ONE non-ticklish, or hates to be tickled woman, then you may miss out on true fulfillment and happiness. Its ok to think about what YOU want too.

 

[maniactickler]

I hear your frustration. just stick to your guns though. its tempting to start to fall for a woman who is attractive, has a great personality and you get along great with, but isnt ticklish or into tickling. fight the urge and move on! looks and personality only last so long. you will be unhappy in the long run. it maybe be a somewhat lonely life, but id rather wait for the right one than settle for anything less.

 

[Strider]

Here's the thing, for me; kink is sort of hardwired into my DNA. I have no problem having casual sex with someone who just wants a good time, but as far as serious relationships go, I generally don't get involved with girls who don't have roughly similar interests to mine, all of my serious girlfriends have been on the same wavelength as me, and I really can't see it working any other way, all of my serious girlfriends have had the same interests I have. Now, it sounds like for you, you can't even have enjoyable casual sex with someone unless tickling's involved, and that I can't really relate to.

 

[TheJacques]

Thank you, guys, for all of your replies. You've all given me some wonderful, varied input. It's of course going to be some time before I feel totally clear about all this, but I think you all the same. Anyone else, please feel free to give your own feedback...the more people I know can relate, the less I'll feel alone.

 

[melbtickler]

Yeah, I think we all have felt like that at times. It is frustrating and a cruel thing to have to put up with. To go through life only to give the odd tickle here and there but all you can do is think positive and keep chatting on here. You never know your luck.

 

[Luv2Tickle69]

One thing I learned very early on in my discovery about what it was about female feet and tickling that excited and aroused me so much; was that to immerse myself COMPLETELY into it without any regard for what ELSE comprises the woman (sexually, psychologically, physically, etc..etc..) could have negative drawbacks and implications. I won't kid you....with many of my female friends I knew throughout school and such, sure...I wondered/fantasized if they had sexy feet and maybe liked having them tickled/played with....but when engaged in conversations with them and enjoying their company (either one on one or as a group even), I was more involved and immersed with what was being talked about and what it was we were doing. I never failed to notice the ways they'd smile, the way they might use their hands while talking, certain ways they might tilt their head while listening, watching how they even blink their eyes sometimes...as well as other vital body language aspects that I'd also find either sexy, alluring, or intriguing. I was also very absorbed into the idea of learning how ELSE I could make them laugh that wouldn't involve me laying a finger on 'em. Women (for the most part) LOVE them a man that is funny and can make them laugh....to my joy, I found that my sense of humor was dead-on with many of my female friends (AND girlfriends), and just being in their company clued me in to SOOOO much that can make ANY woman indescribably sexy.....after all....sexiness isn't just based on what you see....but that which you DON'T see....or are maybe privy to for but a moment., but boy howdy...you NEVER forget it once you DO see it....

No matter what your fetish, interest, passion......what needs to be at the front-line is the recognition and realization of the TOTALITY of the individual that is the object of your fetish-oriented desires. I've found it a HELLUVA lot more fulfilling and rewarding when I'd find myself playfully/lovingly tickling the feet of a lady I'd known for quite some time and knowing I was sharing a special aspect of myself with someone who'd already earned my friendship and respect as a PERSON...it made those experiences that much more special...and fun!!

 

[vegantickle]

I hear you man

I hear you man, and relate to a lot of what you wrote. I have been busting my head over how to supply a solution to this problem – which is the share of many of us. I don't know how much of a comfort it will be for you, but some have it even more complicated than you. Think what happens when on top of being a minority with your fetish, you are also a minority in your lifestyle.

As my nick implies I am a vegan, and we obviously rather stick to our kind, as this is – above the dietary choice – an ideology and an ongoing battle with an indifferent world
.
So, I am even more fucked than you, man. Care to calculate my odds of finding a person who shares my lifestyle and has a tickling fetish? 🙂

I know way too well how you feel. There is no other way than getting up when you fall and continue marching. All i can hope is that more people will be more opened about it – realizing that without putting it out there – there is no chance in hell we will manage to find each other.

Cheers

 

[WorkInProgress]

To supplement all the other suggestions, I would suggest that you explore the emotional aspects of intimate relationships further so that the sexual dimension, with or without tickling, isn't so central. And when you meet a woman who's right for you emotionally, she may turn out to share your fetish. Viper and Irishgirl are an example of such a success story here on this board, at least the last I knew. Point is, though, it's futile to try to force yourself to feel anything other than what comes naturally to you sexually, however it compares with a so-called norm, but it is possible to have too much riding on the physical when there are parts of the emotional side of intimacy that need to be explored. What do you like in an emotionally intimate relationship, and where is that to be found? That's what I would have you ponder, in addition to all the rest of the dilemmas you have to think through.

 

[alex]

I'll offer myself as something of an expert here, as I've had a number of relationships with women who accommodated my interest in tickling. I'm more of a lee myself, but I'm certain I could have gotten involved with women who were willing for me to tickle them.

The key, I think, is to be up front about your situation early in your relationship. (No later than second date; first if she's fast.) Be aware that quite a few women will be uninterested, and some might be turned off. I presume you're looking for just one. Unless you luck out quickly, this means a bunch of first dates that don't pan out. But so it goes.

They're out there. Be frank and open, and keep looking. Good luck.

 

[kenny]

for the ladies

i have the oppiste problem i love when women tickle me into hysterics, and there isnt a day goes by that i dont see sexy females with long nails that just have that look of a an evil tickler. my last girlfrend loved to tickle me all the time cuz i cant fight back, and she was a great tickler but an incredible bitch but i think i got very hooked on her cuz she loved tickling me so much not to mention she looks alot like jennifer anniston. i have not really dating anybody since, not only cuz of the tickling but also cuz im afraid of getting my world rocked again. anyway enough about that i feel ike im cursed cuz that is very important to me in a relationship, even morer than sex and it definatly turns me on all of my past girlfreinds have been into tickling me, so girls what do you think m i crazy

 

[Redmage]

I mean, if you think about it, asking for a partner to love being tickled by you is practically ludicrous.

But it isn't. There are several such women right here on this forum. I've met a number of them.

There are many women who enjoy being tickled. You just have to look in the right places, and pay attention to them on the same levels that you would any woman, in addition to their tickling interests.