A fear of being tickled.......

[CellarDweller]

Ok, I have a friend that I talk to on a daily basis, through a music website.

He is straight, funny, and an overall good person. However he has told me that he is very shy, and has a fear of meeting new people. He met one other person from that website, but she recently moved away.

He wants to meet me, and we are planning on meeting in NYC in October. He wants me to help him get over this fear.

Well, I was curious, and in one of our convos, tossed out that if he teased me, he would be opened to my "evil tickle hands", which he found funny, and said that he was indeed quite ticklish.

Well, last week he told me two new pieces of information.

#1. His worst spot is his feet, they are extremely ticklish.

#2. He "fears" being tickled. He fears the loss of control, and the other person not being able to stop. He says he is a playful person by nature, and would tickle a girlfriend, but can't because she would tickle back, and he would freak.

He says that when we meet, he wants us to go out to lunch. Find a place that has table clothes on the tables, and while we are waiting for the food, he is gonna put one of his feet in my lap, and he wants me to help him get over this fear. He says he trusts me.

Have you ever heard of someone who fears being tickled?? This is a first for me.

Also, if it's true, do you think this would actually work? 😕

Don't get me wrong, I am not gonna decline a chance to tickle a friend, but if he really does fear this, would I be doing more harm than good???

 

[nessonite1]

I think it's wonderful, CD and I'm nominating you for this year's "TT Humanitarian Award" for your selfless commitment to community service and I dearly wish I could be there to see that as I'm sure it would prove most amusing.
(nominates self for run-on sentense award)

To answer your actual question though...the only person I've known with such a fear is myself.

 

[Janus4385]

Pteronophobia: fear of being tickled by feathers...
Dunno what the term for the overall being tickled fear is...

You said he fears the loss of control, so, I'd say thats the bigger issue there, the whole tickling fear could be just a side effect... Anyway, by doing what you'll do, you are taking a chance, he might see that there is nothing to fear, or he might freak out, and on a public place, thats not good... LOL
You should try to see how bad this fear really is before you do anything, better safe than sorry I guess... just my point of view...

 

[Sarusuke]

Pteronophobia: fear of being tickled by feathers...
Dunno what the term for the overall being tickled fear is...

I'd guess "knismophobia".

 

[cyclypse]

To answer your actual question though...the only person I've known with such a fear is myself.

..........*makes note NOT to tickle Ness*

Never really met anyone with an overall FEAR of being tickled. But like he told you, it seems to be more a fear of no control over a situation. Though the fact that he says he trusts you and that he is freely offering you this opportunity is a big deal indeed. I say take it and enjoy it. Perhaps he'll enjoy it too!

*nominates self for Complete Sentence Masta*

 

[chickles_:)]

Hiya :happy:
Hmm, CD, this is a toughee. Like you said, you don't want to pass up a given chance to tickle a friend. and Ness, is right on to nominate you for the humanitarian award... 🙂
You obviously have deep concern for the guy.

I totally agree with what's been said so far though about the whole, "fear of losing control," thing. I think if he wants you to tickle him well okay i guess. But if you ask me, i think he's setting himself up for a major freak. - I mean honestly, "i'm afraid of being tickled and losing control so ,,, tickle me in a public place where i'll end up laughing uncontrolably and making a scene in front of people." Am i the only one who sees a flaw in the thinking here?

The poor guy obviously has deeper issues. And i don't mean that in a bad way. He's just got some closet stuff that is crippling his life. It happens to many. By your description CD, it sounds serious enough to warrant some real counselling in which your friend can address what's really going on.

The tickle shock-therapy sounds suspiciously similar to the guy with a compound fracture thinking all he needs to cure himself is a bottle of aspirin.

I hope this helps. I wish you well, CD, for you and your friend.

Many blessings,

 

[Kalamos]

Mmm... don't want to sound like a complete moron, but I noticed a peculiar trend.
CD keeps relating meetings with "straight" men.

I am not making a point, but I am wondering if [as Chickles said] that guy has secret issues or what.

...

Just relating my own experience here, but before fixing up for tickling sessions, I'd try and find out just how "friendly" they are going to be, eventually.

Promising to tickle somebody before meeting them in the real world has rarely worked for me. 🙂

Best wishes, though.
I'm just over-cautious.

😀 😀 😀

 

[CellarDweller]

Mmm... don't want to sound like a complete moron, but I noticed a peculiar trend. CD keeps relating meetings with "straight" men.

I am not making a point, but I am wondering if [as Chickles said] that guy has secret issues or what.

Actually, that thought has crossed my mind, Kalomos.

as for a trend with straight guys, most of the friends I have are straight. The two guys I've talked about, I met through a music website, and actually, have met a great amount of people (male and female) though it.

 

[Dussicar]

When I was younger I was absolutely TERRIFIED of being tickled I was excruciatingly ticklish. I refused to go barefoot, I would not put my feet anywhere near people out of fear that they would attempt even a quick stroke. I refused to lift my arms in the air around people as well. If I did, I would subconciously cup my hand over my armpit. And if anyone even MENTIONED the word tickle in the same sentence in referrence to me, I would go absolutely BERZERK!!!!

Later on in life, I actually began to like being tickled. Eventually I came to love it. And wouldn't you know it. At around that time, I stopped being ticklish.

Life makes no sense whatsoever.

 

[Kalamos]

-> cellardweller.

Nah, it's my fault. 🙂
Tickling isn't a friendly game for me.
And I naively expect people to share my point. 🙂

But I am not commenting on the kind of people you befriend.
Rather, I was wondering what kind of relationship you were looking for.
Not because I am minding your business - but I'd like to compare experiences.

I wouldn't meet up with a self-proclaimed gay woman for a friendly tickle.
It would feel weird - just as if a "straight" woman dated me on a friendly basis only.
"I don't need new friends, thanks darling..." 😉

That's why I pointed out the "straight" thing.
To me it would be like neutering myself.

Then again, I have very simple mind patterns... 🙂

 

[nessonite1]

..........*makes note NOT to tickle Ness*

LOL Actually I meant when I was younger. 😛

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

You've Got A Lot Of Nerve(s)................................

Gt Has "notgettin'anyatallaphobia", The Fear Of Not Tickling Nor Being Tickled. I Place My Shattered, Decrepit, Creaking/leaking Body In The Hands Of The Tt Vixens. Show No Mercy, Ladies( And I'll Extend The Same Courtesy) 🙂. I Have Found That Some People Are So Extremely Ticklish, Or Perceive Themselves To Be, That They Can't Stand The Thought Of Being Tickled. Their Threshholds Or Maybe Previous Tickle Torture Episodes When Younger And More Venerable Make Tickling Non Negotiable. Or At Double The Usual Rate!!

 

[Ignatz]

How much harm can you do in a restaurant? The burden of being discreet will keep you from going overboard with the guy and if he can't bear a little tickle on his foot, all he has to do is jerk his leg back and slip his shoe back on. This is why he insists on conducting this experiment in a public place, rather than coming to your house where (in his worst fears), he might be overpowered and unable to escape.
Just remember that most restaurants have a policy: no shoes, no service!

 

[CellarDweller]

-> cellardweller.

Nah, it's my fault. 🙂
Tickling isn't a friendly game for me.
And I naively expect people to share my point. 🙂

But I am not commenting on the kind of people you befriend.
Rather, I was wondering what kind of relationship you were looking for.
Not because I am minding your business - but I'd like to compare experiences.

I wouldn't meet up with a self-proclaimed gay woman for a friendly tickle.
It would feel weird - just as if a "straight" woman dated me on a friendly basis only.
"I don't need new friends, thanks darling..." 😉

That's why I pointed out the "straight" thing.
To me it would be like neutering myself.

Then again, I have very simple mind patterns... 🙂

Ahhhh.....ok. I see where you are coming from.

Well, as for the type of relationship I am looking for....with him, just friendship. That's all we could have anyway.

I can see where people have the "I don't need new friends" idea. For me, it is different.

Although I have a good group of supportive friends (non-online, real life 😉 ) when I was much younger, up until I was in college, I had no friends. the kids at school zeroed in on my homosexuality (even though I was not out) and I was generally excluded from everything. No parties, hang outs, Valentine's or anything. It was a small school, so I got to watch them form friendships, but not partake.

When I went to a public school, a majority of them transfered to the same school, and told their friends at that school "about me" so that didn't help matters. Two of them also got jobs at the local supermarket where I worked, and some stuff went down there as well.

It wasn't until my brother introduced me to his girlfriend 10 years ago, that she introduced me to all her friends, and I had a circle of friends. My brother and her broke up about 8 years ago, but I still see the "ex" and the friends I made then are still around me. In fact, they were the first group of people I came out to.

So I have the mentality that you can NEVER have enough friends.

Sorry the explanation is so long, and so off topic, but since you asked......as for the guy I'm going to meet, he'll be another friend, and if I get the chance to tickle him, cool. If not, still cool.

 

[sapphireglimmer]

When I was younger I was absolutely TERRIFIED of being tickled I was excruciatingly ticklish. I refused to go barefoot, I would not put my feet anywhere near people out of fear that they would attempt even a quick stroke. I refused to lift my arms in the air around people as well. If I did, I would subconciously cup my hand over my armpit. And if anyone even MENTIONED the word tickle in the same sentence in referrence to me, I would go absolutely BERZERK!!!!

Later on in life, I actually began to like being tickled. Eventually I came to love it. And wouldn't you know it. At around that time, I stopped being ticklish.

Life makes no sense whatsoever.

Ditto. Tickling didn't feel good to me for a very long time. I hated it, was scared of being tickled and avoided it as much as I could. It was years before I got tickled again and was surprised on how good it felt.

Brains are funny.

 

[Kalamos]

Ahhhh.....ok. I see where you are coming from.

Yep. You should know me better than that. 🙂
I rarely judge people, and I don't really want to meddle in anybody's life.

But it happened to me in the past - just as it happened to you, from what you told us over another thread: they show up for a friendly tickle, but the meeting turns into a total disappointment.

Dunno why, but mine was a clumsy attempt at protecting you.
Guess you need no protection. 😀
It's just me, I am sometimes cautious with internet people I meet in the real world. 🙂

But as you said, I shouldn't be hijacking this thread this long.
So, best wishes. 🙂

Whatever the outcome.

 

[GoldenTXT]

I'm the same way I don't know how I would take it because when I want it to stop I mean it.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Just take it very slow and use gentle pokes at first or maybe run your fingers down his sole until he gets use to that.No,full blown tickle sessions just yet and let him come to you.No,surprise tickles just yet.If he seems squirmy like he's getting nervous just use a soothing voice and say ''breathe,just relax'' and look away like you aren't there or paying attention to something else with your hands where he can see them.This way you appear very nonthreatening. That should put him at ease.You don't want to pay to much attention to his anxiety though because that can make him uncomfortable.For instance I have nervous ticks and if you pay to much attention to them it can make them worse.The best thing you can do for them is to ignore them.

 

[StarkMaximum]

I know this is a very old thread, but I'm very happy to see it bumped, because I've never seen it! Cellardweller, I always recognize your posts and I love hearing what you have to say, but even with that, this has got to be the cutest thing I've ever read on these forums, for so many reasons. I know this is very old, but if you see this, cellardweller (not sure if there's any sort of nickname I can call you or not), I have to know, do you recall how this turned out at all?

 

[CellarDweller]

Hiya ElStarko!

Sorry to say that there is no tickle story here.

Unfortunately, the website/forum we were both members of went off the 'net, and while other members were able to meet up through Facebook, we haven't been able to find him.

 

[CellarDweller]

(not sure if there's any sort of nickname I can call you or not)

Oh, btw, members here have called me CD, and anyone is free to call me by my name, Chuck.

 

[ticklefiend30001]

Hey Chuck, for the record, if you ever do find the fella, yeah I've come across a couple of females who were positively afraid of being tickled. And I managed to tickle both of them, and it is something, that someone who knows the game can get someone through quite easily. In both cases I found it was due to an abuse of tickling in one way or another, One woman her ex-husband would tickle torture her feet, sadistically as punishment, another was tickled horribly by her brothers as a little girl.

 

[StarkMaximum]

Hiya ElStarko!

Sorry to say that there is no tickle story here.

Unfortunately, the website/forum we were both members of went off the 'net, and while other members were able to meet up through Facebook, we haven't been able to find him.

That's a pity, but I had a feeling that if you hadn't said anything about it after so long, chances are it never got off the ground. Ah well, c'est la vie.

 

[GoldenTXT]

I do sometimes.