A little sad and disappointed

[kingp]

Amanda!! First of all...Welcome Back!!! Why did you ever leave us? Second....Love the sig pic, always have. Third, it will be people like you who will turn the tide of such nastiness.

I do remember a time long before the ol' TMF when the alt.tickling threads were brutal. People generally have problems with each other and it usually begins when one person wishes to change or control another person rather than letting them be. Its a DNA problem. Just born a-holes....all I can say is call BS when you see it, and don't give up on the community as a whole.

Be well and laugh much.

 

[Coup de Grace]

For the most part, I haven't dealt with much of the hostility as the OP suggests. Still, I know how Alpha types like to play Devil's advocate just for the sake of playing the Devil role. In most forums, there's a select group that doesn't show the ability to agree to disagree, articulate their thoughts and viewpoints and move on. They have to be right and you're wrong. I know those folks are hard to igore, but you can't feed into the nonsense.

 

[Bohemianne]

Welcome back...

Don't be so sad and disappointed. In my POV, everything in this life whether virtual or real is changing and nothing will ever be the same ever. So this place had been different then and now.

 

[Em Es]

Why were you gone so long?

Welcome back to this great web site, Amanda. Why were you gone for a year?

As for your question, maybe the Tickling Media Forum has reached the point of what they call the cost of doing business. As more and more people participate here, some of them will be professional troublemakers, that strain of humanity you've noticed polluting a number of discussions.

Speaking of YouTube, it's only existed five years but of course its popularity is hundreds of times greater than that of this web site, which has been around twice as long.

 

[obama666]

I have to agree with the Interrogator on this one... Plus it's basically fun to get your shit off, especially in the political forum!

 

[Morpheus72]

In the years I've been a member here, I haven't noticed much of a change. I'm a member of several discussion forums, and this one is pretty tame compared to others I am on. Drama ebbs and flows; bad eggs get free reign for a bit and then are banned. It's pretty typical.

I definitely agree about there being a lack of tolerance about sub-fetishes on this board. Foot fans are celebrated by some and castigated by others, for example. It's almost like some people are saying, "Be tolerant of my fetish, but I'm not going to be tolerant of yours." That's probably the saddest thing I see on this board. That said, it's not that big a deal.

The internet as a whole is a cesspool, and this site provides us with awesome access to something we love. I started on the internet in 1997, hoping to find the remaining "emit" series pics I didn't have, or to secure a 10-second video clip instead of a 4-second one. I, therefore, am thankful for what this site gives.

Dave

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Changed or not, Amanda, thanks for your post. I think this forum is better than most, but everywhere, the problem with anonymity is that it leads to rudeness. When we drive, we cut someone off or flip them off, but on the rare occasion that we notice that the other driver is someone we know, we change our tune.

So, I pledge to preview my posts going forward, and before I submit it, I will ask myself, "would I say this to the person if s/he were in the room with me?" I think we should all do that.

 

[Amanda]

Changed or not, Amanda, thanks for your post. I think this forum is better than most, but everywhere, the problem with anonymity is that it leads to rudeness. When we drive, we cut someone off or flip them off, but on the rare occasion that we notice that the other driver is someone we know, we change our tune.

So, I pledge to preview my posts going forward, and before I submit it, I will ask myself, "would I say this to the person if s/he were in the room with me?" I think we should all do that.

I like what you said alot, especially the second part. And its funny you should mention the anonymity because i was thinking about that just yesterday. You are absolutely right that it acts as a shield or a mask that people feel comfortable to be rude behind, which is a shame, but it is true. I will also pledge to do the same as you have pledged.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

I haven't been on the TMF regularly in a year or two, which is a bit of time, but for how dramatically this population has changed i cannot believe it was in such a short amount of time.

By this, i mean that people have become much more aggressive, argumentative, and tactless. Now it's not as bad as youtube, or anything like that (i don't know if any of you have ever read youtube comments. they can be fairly vile.)

But when I used this site regularly (again, only a year or two ago) the members generally wanted to participate in conversation, rather than argument and attack.

As an "online tickling community," we shouldn't fight, but unite. I mean, really, this is the ONLY place many of us will ever share common interests an feelings about this subject. I don't care if you have a lover who lets you tickle play with them -- they will never feel or experience or understand your love of tickling the way this community does.

I think this website is supposed to be used for discussion, not disagreement; i think it is meant to be used as support, not debasing.

Can't we all just get along again?

I'm with ya'. You're definitely right on this. I wish this could happen, too.

 

[Phineas]

I've been here since the site was founded; I lurked long before I registered. And truthfully, Amanda, this place has always been as argumentative and disagreeable as you describe. As others say, it runs in cycles.

I think this website is supposed to be used for discussion, not disagreement.

I disagree(!). Yes, I may love tickling, but there are some behaviors that our fetish seems to encourage that I do not like, and to be honest I think it's unrealistic to expect people to only voice their opinions if they agree with you. Especially since, as you correctly observe, people come here for support and validation.

And, if the validation they get encourages them to be creepy and manipulate the people around them, then they're going to go out and do that, and wonder why people think they're creepy when they get caught. Or, more likely, continue to feel shamed about their fetish when they could be feeling better.

This is why I discourage people from hiding and encourage them to be honest in their intentions, and to do so with respect for others and not an attitude of "what can I get away with?".

There are some things I will never agree with, as a part of this community. And quite honestly, I think it's important that everyone be allowed to express that disagreement. Otherwise, we have the situation you describe, except in reverse.

 

[dad1]

I think it's okay to disagree. I wouldn't expect everybody to agree with me. But there are good and bad ways to disagree. Instead of telling somebody they are full of whatever, explain what you disagree with and why. This is a discussion forum after all.

One thing I sometimes notice is that when somebody disagrees with one of the more popular members that person will get dog-piled by all the friends of the one they disagreed with. That's not cool. Let your friends speak for themselves.

 

[chrisheaven]

Of course it's ok to disagree.
It's just that it could so easily be done in a civilised way.

 

[Phineas]

Of course it's ok to disagree.
It's just that it could so easily be done in a civilised way.

Maybe I need to reed moar postz, but the only time I ever see people disagree with something in a non-"civilized" way is when the poster being disagreed with is being offensive or proposing something that's downright reprehensible.

Or, of course, if the respondee is a troll other otherwise an ass... but you're not going to cure that kind of anti-social behavior with a forum post.