a question for switches

[minerva]

Some of the answers in this thread about playful tickling vs tickle torture made me wonder...
A few people who are both ‘lee and ‘ler said, they love being tickle tortured while being on the receiving end, but rather go for playful/lighter tickling while being the ‘ler.
How come?
I do have a few ideas, what the reasons might be, but I’m curious – not sure at all if I’m thinking in the right direction.
So my question to all you switches out there - why would you rather go a bit easier on your ‘lee, while on the other hand you’d want no mercy at all from your ‘lers?

 

[sabaki]

Which thread are you referring to?

I think it's more socially acceptable to say "I want others to torture me" than "I want to torture others." Maybe people don't want to admit their sadistic side in public for fear of being shunned or driving away potential play partners. Or maybe they don't want to admit it to themselves because it would mean confronting a darker part of their mind. Then again, maybe they have no sadistic side.

I am a switch, but I follow the golden rule 😉

 

[minerva]

This is the thread, I'm referring to:
http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=94988

I fully agree with your reasons. Those are the ones I've thought about as well. Not so sure about the 'no sadistic side' part though 😉 - That's exactly why I'm still wondering.
I'm really looking forward to some more answers...

 

[P[a]pi]

The kinda perosn you described is close to what my girlfriend is. I consider myself a ler and she considers herself a lee, but we do switch.

When I'm the ler I kill her.

But when she is tickling me, she doesn't tickle me the same way, and she doesnt want to. I think her main reason is that she thinks of the way I tickle her as masculine, and she wants to tickle me in a feminine way. That's how I think anyway.

I tickle her hard and rough and she tickles me soft and light. That is just the way that feels right to us.

Also she is ticklish all over her body, while I'm mildly ticklish in some places.

 

[911]

For me if it's not torture it's not fun.

 

[sabaki]

I think her main reason is that she thinks of the way I tickle her as masculine, and she wants to tickle me in a feminine way.

That is very interesting; you're really onto something. Maybe a person's style as a tickler is more an expression of who they are, including their gender. Whereas their desires as a ticklee might be reversed, if they're indulging their partner.

I agree that feminine is usually more associated with soft and light and masculine with hard and rough. I don't think those stereotypes work in all cases, but more on topic I don't think roughness is a requirement for torture, nor do I think that femininity rules out ruthlessness or sadism. A soft, gentle, but thoroughly evil torture could be the worst kind, and it's certainly the most exciting kind IMO.

Still, I think you nailed the question... it makes me wonder though...

 

[TickledToDeath]

Some of the answers in this thread about playful tickling vs tickle torture made me wonder...
A few people who are both ‘lee and ‘ler said, they love being tickle tortured while being on the receiving end, but rather go for playful/lighter tickling while being the ‘ler.
How come?
I do have a few ideas, what the reasons might be, but I’m curious – not sure at all if I’m thinking in the right direction.
So my question to all you switches out there - why would you rather go a bit easier on your ‘lee, while on the other hand you’d want no mercy at all from your ‘lers?

Love tickle torture on both ends(ler and lee). I especially love being the ler first this way the then lee will be even more torturous on me afterwards as REVENGE being the motivator!

 

[kilitiinko1]

Excellent question,Minerva!

This is a very interesting question to me! Although I am truly a `lee who LOVES a torturous tickling session,I can and will `ler,if asked to do so! On these occaions where I tickle,I always provide a gentle,playful tickling,in spite of the fact that I would like to be absolutely merciless!It`s kind of a catch 22.I want to be ruthless so that I can show her how I like to be tickled,but I certainly don`t want to scare her away,either! All things considered,I want my partner to have a wonderful time so she`ll want to play again.For this reason,I`ll oblige her desires,whatever they may be! But if she doesn`t indicate a preference,she`ll get playful,gentke tickling from me.

The masculine/feminine differences in style hadn`t crossed my mind! That`s a very good point! Obviously,there will be exceptions to this,but by and large,I suspect that you are correct,P[a]pi!

I also have to agree with Sabaki! A soft,gentle, but thoroughly evil torture could be the worst kind! It would be almost bearable,but bring you to that marvelous place where you can`t possibly stand another second,but you don`t ever want her to stop!

 

[Tickler Bart]

This is my own opinion . . .
When I am being tickled I LIKE it when she is merciless & keeps tickling me to no end.
When I am tickling a 'Lee I do not wish for her to be tortured like I was. I know how it feels & I want her to have a good time & NOT be really tortured (unless she indicates to me to be more aggressive)
I consider whomever (or who ever) I am tickling to be a delicate flower & I do not wish any harm to come to her.
It's like the victim understands the torture so they will be gentle to THEIR victim.
The women I tickle are so precious to me, & I treat them with as much respect as I can.
For me, tickling someone is as much an emotional thing as it is a sexual thing.

 

[totally_evil]

I'm a true 50-50 switch, who loves them both equally. I always want a mix of tickling styles when I lee. But when I ler I gauge what the person wants from their reactions. If I think they want some torture, I give them it and love every minute, if they want to be sensually tickled I'll do that and love it just as much.

I think its all down to which side people prefer. The lee side, or the ler side. I'm slap bang in the middle so I don't really have a preference.

 

[sabaki]

It's like the victim understands the torture so they will be gentle to THEIR victim.

Good point... It seems to me that's an advantage switches have. Experience being the victim gives them a psychological edge when they're the ler. They can empathize with the lee and (perhaps) better control the lee's experience than someone who was a pure ler. Either making the experience gentler, or more hellish.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

the answer is laziness

it's easier to lay there and be tickled, than it is to hold down your lee, and tickle them. i can take a longer time of tickling, than i can of giving it.

 

[minerva]

it's easier to lay there and be tickled, than it is to hold down your lee, and tickle them. i can take a longer time of tickling, than i can of giving it.

I've heard of some ways to secure your 'lee without having to hold her down, should make it less exhausting for you 😉

 

[tickledorange]

Maybe when the 'lee finally gets to tickle, they are afraid of hurting their 'lee somehow.

 

[minerva]

This is my own opinion . . .
When I am being tickled I LIKE it when she is merciless & keeps tickling me to no end.
When I am tickling a 'Lee I do not wish for her to be tortured like I was. I know how it feels & I want her to have a good time & NOT be really tortured (unless she indicates to me to be more aggressive)
I consider whomever (or who ever) I am tickling to be a delicate flower & I do not wish any harm to come to her.
It's like the victim understands the torture so they will be gentle to THEIR victim.
The women I tickle are so precious to me, & I treat them with as much respect as I can.
For me, tickling someone is as much an emotional thing as it is a sexual thing.

Interesting, that tickle torture is linked with aggressiveness most of the time.
I really don't think it has to be like that. I fully agree with those who said, that soft gentle 'torture' can be the worst/best 😉
Also I don't think that if someone tickles you mercilessly, they don't respect you or care for you, provided that that's the way you want it to be of course 🙂

 

[crydun]

I like it light, playful and sensual on both ends... the best there is!

 

[Chuck D]

When i'm a ler, i love to tickle the shiz nit out of a girl. when i think about being a lee, i like to think about the shiz nit being tickled out of me.. but when i'm actually the lee, i usually want it playfull, cause i can't take that much.. i like to take only what i can take, but i'll give loooots...

 

[FAIS]

Hello Minerva

Good to see you post.Actually It all depeneds on the "Switches'" wishes. As a Lee maybe he loves the feeling of being on the edge of insanity with the vibes flowing thru him/her at the rates of knotts and that causing all the preference for INTENSE N HARD tickling. On the other side as a LER maybe he/she wants to see the LEE only laugh hard and doesnt want to see expressions like squint eyes,desperate squirms amidst tight bondage,swearing,peeing and crying.

However as for me I would Love to be HARD and take HARDEST so that I can come back even HARDER

Missing ur insightful PMs Minerva🙁

 

[tklmaestro]

A kind heart portrays kind actions but the masochistic mind knows only joy