a rant and a half....girls pleeeease read and respond:)

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

I have a feeling verrrry many females will relate to this post....sadly...

I walk in my front door, weary from the day. In need of food, time with my daughter and rest. I quickly sign online to check email...I conduct a great deal of my business, bills and correspondence via email since I work many hours and am a single mom so have limited time to run around or make telephone calls.

The welcome screen is not even cleared from my computer yet and there are three instant messages to respond to. Two from guys I know vaguely, one from someone I do not know asking me a/s/l or asking me if I am ticklish. I minimize them for a moment while I try to clear the welcoming aol pop ups from my screen.

Another instant message window opens and it is an online friend I haven't "seen" in a while, saying hello...I quickly say hello and ask him to give me one min while I clear my screen. I am still clearing pop ups, my hour glass won't go away, I'm tapping my foot impatiently...(I know, I had to throw in a foot reference🙂 )

I go back to the friend and respond to something he has asked, I go to the other ims and tell all that I am sorry but really didn't sign on to chat, I need to check email, sign off, and cannot talk right now, I add many smileys to everything to show I am not angry, just unable to chat.

They all respond back asking me more questions and basically wanting to talk about why we can't talk!!!...lol I'm starting to get frustrated and irritated. I minimize again.

My friend has im'ed something else, I respond again . I finally get to open my email screen and the email I have been waiting for confirming an order I placed for my daughter has arrived. I now must respond to give more information for shipping so it arrives in time for christmas. This is obviously a priority for me.

I im again with my friend. More people im me, a mix of those I know and do not. A couple of good online friends ask if they can call, I say I'm sorry I can't , paying bills, etc.

They seem irritated and say I never have time. They are right, I never do.
The friend I have been im'ing with is now sending me lengthy ims that I would love to be able to respond to but I simply cannot.

My little girl is calling "mommy!!!" and tells me the microwave beeped and she is hungry, can we finish preparing dinner.

I try to tell the im'ing friend I have to go for a bit and he gets annoyed, I never have time he says.....he lets me have it...

I didn't get to send the confirmation to the email that I wanted to....there are several other emails I see that are quite important that I didn't even get to open....people continue to im me. I have no recourse but to block everyone and send the friend am email trying to explain, he gets angry. I give up.

I wonder what goes through the heads of some people. I feel like I cannot win regardless of what I do.

If I try being nice and saying I cannot talk, I'm rude.

If I ignore, I am rude. If I block ims and send an email , I am seeking attention.

These are precisely the reasons why I have scrapped entire screen names and groups and pages in the past and disappeared.

I do not post, make pages, start groups, im, email or exist online for attention. Anyone who says that is clearly someone who knows nothing about me or my life....attention is nothing I have ever had to seek, I am sure that most girls do not have to as well.

It's a very common scenario that I am quite tired of...I make a new post or story or addition to my pages, I share because I love to do that. I receive emails complimenting me. A very nice thing for people to do. I always send an email and thank people because I think if someone takes the time to send me an email I should take the time to respond and thank them.

I very nicely decline offers to chat or email or meet or talk on the phone...I explain with smileys abounding, that I simply have no time for such things.

Then they get angry, saying I should give them a chance because out of the tens of thousands of eager ticklers online they are Mr. Wonderful.

I know that sounds cynical and it is intended at this moment for no one in particular, but that mentality baffles me.

Girls, tell me please, do guys actually think that we girls into feet and tickling NEVER have anyone to talk to EXCEPT them?....I know that when I do get time to chat, I usually want to talk to the people that NEVER im me. Ironic eh?

If everyone I have ever talked to hates my guts after seeing this, so be it. I can't take it anymore. I live alone because I despise being asked what I am doing with my time, so when someone who is an online friend becomes beligerant with me because I say I cannot chat but he points out that I am posting on tmf or working on my groups and behaves as though I shouldn't be, I wonder if I am the only person who views this as ridiculous.

I am asked then why I post and write stories and "advertise" that I am ticklish, etc...if I wish to be left alone.

The answer is simple...I honestly do not wish to be left alone, I love talking about our common interest...I just wish that people would give a level of respect and understanding. There has to be a level at which it is understood that every time someone signs online it is not simply to talk to YOU.,lol.

I know this sounds like a rant and a half but I am honestly amused here.
As far as the couple of people tonight in their ims, if you see this.....I have never advertised for a damn thing in my life. (Uh oh, she swore!!!...lol)

I say this alot but apparently it bears repeating, I write for ME...I express myself for ME...I share my groups and my material but as I have always said, the primary reason I have groups is to store my own things in a categorical manner, not to promote anything.

I resent having to even write this because it changes who I am...I am one of the nicest people u can meet,the TRUE friends I have online know that about me🙂..... I would never do anything to hurt or harm anyone....I am a very happy person who loves her life and enjoys tickling and feet and the numerous things I do because they enrich my life...I like to share but when sharing becomes taking then it ceases to reap any rewards, it only frustrates.

I am asking those that find themselves represented in this post, on behalf of myself and anyone else they do this to, to stop it. I'm thinking this may get it's share of retaliatory posts or emails to me, I kind of expect it but what I hope is that I get through to some people and even better, I hope I get some support from females, I know they have to go through the same or worse that I do.

That's it, I'm done🙂
byeee 4 now🙂
~tm ::::waves hello to all those I miss and never get to post ridiculous, albeit witty, things to anymore....lol...don't worry, ur not free of the likes of me yet🙂 ::::

 

[ticklebutton]

I resent having to even write this because it changes who I am...I am one of the nicest people u can meet,the TRUE friends I have online know that...

The ones that pressure you & then get petulant when you won't do what they want are not friends. Don't bother to argue.

Form good boundries & keep them. It's your life; keep living it the way you want to, with carefully chosen priorities.

Best wishes,
Button

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

ur verrry right🙂 Thanks🙂

 

[4Pawz]

Don't worry you are definitely not the only one. I get the same random people IMing me or whatnot thinking the world revolves around them.

I also make sure I make time for my close friends. I don't always have time to talk, or am not always in the mood to do such. True friends understand, and know that there are times to leave another alone.

People do such behavior get placed on my ignore list (the list is rather long) and I have no idea what I would do without my weekly marriage proposal from someone online 🙄

Bottom line being, some people are just rude, and they are not worth the time being annoyed by such. Click a button and they disappear! woo hoo! *does the pawz dance*

Pawz

 

[Limeoutsider]

People like that have low self esteem and need an ego boost, tell them off, and Pawz is right, make time for your clsoe friends, you'll miss them when theyre gone

 

[Iggy pop]

I know you asked for response from girls and I am not one. If I was, however, I would not give out my screenname or email to any guy here. I do not think it is worth it. I have heard a lot of stories how they get harrased. It sounds like you are busy woman and with real life priorties and you really don't have time to waste with guys online. You said in your post that you wish that people would give you respect. I wish I could walk down any street in Los Angeles and not get mugged, but it's not going to happen. You should recieve a level of respect, but you're not going to. It's just the way things are. If you still want chat online to people get a screenname and email account for that sole purpose only, and use other screenname to take care of other matters.

 

[seattletickler]

I know that this is comming from a male. Please accept my apology if I can't help my gender. All I can say after reading this is that it sounds as if your a giver and some folks are self centered ya know ( I may not be much but I'm all I think about type folks) Please only a suggestion that I hope you might consider. Set your bounderies and your priorities 1st. Your little girl I'm sure comes first as my little boy does and no one can ever take that away. If I allow someone to cross my boundery then I'm not a victim just a volunteer. I think it's great what you do. I just remember the #1 rule that God has never put to much on my plate and that I'm grateful for the time I have. I hope you the best because what I've seen from you is true. You really are a great person. Thanks

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

Great advice 🙂 Thanks to u all so much for reading this and responding🙂...it's funny...I am always ready with such advice to others who ask but when it is me personally I tend to run it by the "Am I being fair?" monitor...I have been accused of not being a good friend as of late, and u are right when u say to make time for friends, I know I do miss them when I can't talk but the question I have been pondering as of late is, where is that line that separates being a good friend AND taking care of one self...what if taking time for yourself is interpreted by your friends as not being attentive, even after you state that is not your intention. This is the point that I begin to feel every one of my friendships is far more frustrating that I can handle. It just feels like people want way too much and I have nothing left for me. But I guess you are right, I do contribute to my own demise if I let it get to me after I have stated my intentions. I suppose we teach people how to treat us🙂 🙂 Thanks again...females and males...lol

 

[chrisheaven]

Hi, TM!
Don't respond to those people- it'll only feed their problem.
Enjoy your real friends- that's what life is for.

 

[Morning Angel]

I've been there too. People online get so mad when they find out that they're not the centre of your world, but why should they be? No need to feel guilty or that you're not being a good friend just because they expect so much from you. As for your real friends, they should understand that you have certain things to take care of and that you really do care about them. Patience is part of friendship. Sadly, I've also had periods when I had to neglect friends while my life sorted itself out. I apologized, sent short messages saying that I still cared, did everything that you did. Most of my friends understood and supported me. Some did not, and that's a shame. But no one claiming to be your friend should make you feel this bad about yourself.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

Hello, TM, and welcome back. Hey, I'm a guy, but I want to respond anyway.

An easy solution would be to have an email address that you give out only to people who you want to hear from. If you have a TMF-related address and you get flooded with email that you don't want to answer, just ignore it. I get calls all damn day at work. So at night, I'm not always up to talking on the phone anymore. If that's the case and the phone does ring, I just don't answer it. I don't consider it rude, I consider it excercising my right and free will not to talk on the phone.

Granted, I don't know you, but you sound like a nice person. I'm going to offer some unsolicited advice. Don't drive yourself nuts by over-analyzing everything. Sometimes a rose is just a rose, and every problem has a solution. I'd also recommend not beating yourself over "not being a good friend." There's only so many hours in the day, and you can't be all things to all people.

I have a lot of people in my life yanking at my beltloops all the time. All you can do is prioritize, do your best, and take care of yourself and your family first.

I would also hope you don't think that all guys at this forum are bad, and want to bug you, because that is not the case.

Ok, that's my two cents. You didn't ask, but..... 😀

 

[angie]

I have been there as well many times.....I totally know what you mean just cause you are here does not mean you are here to chat but for some they feel you are suppose to when you are online. I also love it when many pc you and ask how you are and start talking tickling and such and when you say that you are busy or not up for that type of talk,they are like ok talk to you later. So in other words you do not wish to talk tickling I am not worth a conversation.I love tickling as much as the next person but whats wrong with something like how was day and such and for them to understand if you have no time to talk.

So because of all this I do not chat in pc anymore except with a handful I can truelly call a friend, one that does not get upset with you when you do not have time for a chat,I also do not answer any new e-mails anymore its just too much of a headache and way too many problems so I stay away and avoid them all together.

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Ignore the worthless fools. Any person who does that is NOT your friend. Block 'em, avoid 'em, whatever it takes. They have no right to impose themselves like that on you.😡 @&#*(ers, I'd give them a piece of my mind if I could.😡

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

HisDivineShadow wrote: Ignore the worthless fools. Any person who does that is NOT your friend. Block 'em, avoid 'em, whatever it takes.




HDS....::::hugging you:::: I'll do just that🙂🙂


Angie wrote: So in other words you do not wish to talk tickling I am not worth a conversation.

Angie...you are sooooo right!!! I have often thought this...soo good to see someone else feeling the same way🙂

BigBrowneyes wrote: Don't drive yourself nuts by over-analyzing everything. Sometimes a rose is just a rose, and every problem has a solution. I'd also recommend not beating yourself over "not being a good friend." There's only so many hours in the day, and you can't be all things to all people.

BBE...I love everything you wrote,very very true. Especially the above though, good advice for me, the queen of intense introspection and over-reactive self analysis...you are the second person this week to very nicely point that out to me, thank u🙂

Morning angel...you're very right🙂 Thank u so much🙂

Chris...Thank u🙂 :::hug::: As usual, you are right too🙂

 

[Nightfall]

What about logging in under Invisible mode? Yahoo has it. You can set AIM to only receive messages from certain addresses.

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

Nightfall🙂 That is what I am doing now🙂 I have done this now and then, I just have to take the time to learn how to have my away message on (aol) and still talk to friends....yahoo's invisible mode function is very cool, I have used it but aol is different...I am sure 9.0 has features I haven't even used yet, since installing it I haven't had the time to get to learn about all of it;s functions...thanks though🙂🙂

 

[red indian]

I always have doubts...

.....about anyone who adds "please read" to their thread title, I think its sort of implied that we all want our threads to be read dont you?

 

[sugarmouse]

People like that have low self esteem and need an ego boost, tell them off, and Pawz is right, make time for your clsoe friends, you'll miss them when theyre gone

i totally agree...i think some people who spend there life online and have nothing else to do at all think that everyone who has the internet is liek that and therefor ehave toomuch time on there hands...i admit tho...im an ignorer.with ppeople i dnt know anyway ..if i cannot talk soemtimes i just ignore them

 

[Oddjob0226]

Sheee... why is this post for women? I'm a dude and I get messages from dudes who want to talk about tickling. And I'm like, dude!

I ALWAYS log on to Yahoo under invisible and see if I have friends there. If not, and I still want to chat, I do so. Nowdays, if I get an unsolicited IM I send back a brief, to the point brisque reply if I'm not interested. If they don't pick up on my polite subtle clue, I ignore them.

But yeah, you can't just leave your friends for later, either. I had a friend (an unemployed friend) who had time to call me and tell me that she couldn't pay her bills and couldn't pay to stop her house from being forclosed on, all of which I dealt with for her - but she didn't have time to have dinner with me on my birthday, see a movie with me, etc..... So now I'm broke, her life is still miserable and we ain't friends no mo. Talk about low self esteem. Dude!

 

[BigBrownEyes]

Oddjob, what you've just described is a variation on a common theme which has run through my life over the years. Until recently, I have been suffering from "can't say NO" disease. The common symptom is when someone asks you for a favor, or whatever the case my be, you just can't bring to say no, even though it's something you really don't want to do at all. But if you youself need help, that same person doesn't hestitate to say no.

It's a shame that being a nice person ever has to be a bad thing. But sometimes we have to recognize certain harsh and unforuntae realities in life and find the best to deal with it.

So I have to respectfully disagree with your statement that "you just can't leave your friends for later." It's been my experience that if you let your friends run your life, they'll do it without hestitation. In short, you have to prioritize your time.

I don't think I'm being harsh, just realistic 😀

 

[Iggy pop]

Sheee... why is this post for women? I'm a dude and I get messages from dudes who want to talk about tickling. And I'm like, dude!

I ALWAYS log on to Yahoo under invisible and see if I have friends there. If not, and I still want to chat, I do so. Nowdays, if I get an unsolicited IM Isend back a brief, to the point brisque reply if I'm not interested. If they don't pick up on my polite subtle clue, I ignore them.

But yeah, you can't just leave your friends for later, either. I had a friend (an unemployed friend) who had time to call me and tell me that she couldn't pay her bills and couldn't pay to stop her house from being forclosed on, all of which I dealt with for her - but she didn't have time to have dinner with me on my birthday, see a movie with me, etc..... So now I'm broke, her life is still miserable and we ain't friends no mo. Talk about low self esteem. Dude!

NEVER NEVER EVER pay someone else's bills. This person obviously was not your friend. Guys do this all the time, and it is just stupidity on their part.

 

[Oddjob0226]

And who's responding to my posts? Dudes!

 

[BigBrownEyes]

..ha,ha..that's true, I'm a guy and I did reposnd to your post. It's an interesting topic and I had to make a longwinded comment as usual. But be rest assured that I won't be sending you a PM, an instamessage, or a Yahoo messenger message, ect, ect... 😀

 

[Oddjob0226]

But be rest assured that I won't be sending you a PM, an instamessage, or a Yahoo messenger message, ect, ect... 😀

So a rejection, eh? I can't win either way!

 

[BigBrownEyes]

Roger that!