A serious question for everyone here.

[njjen3953]

I was wondering why, if it were legal, safe, sane and consentual(SSC), would someone NOT want to fulfill a fantasy. I, personally, am committed to fulfilling ALL of mine.

Let me know what you think and please be honest.

I do not want to hear from those who's fantasies are not legal and SSC.

Jen

 

[qjakal]

Because...

Then you have to go find ANOTHER fantasy, which involves work/creative thinking? Or, perhaps from a fear of the reality NOT measuring up to the fantasy, and hence producing a letdown....or...okay, I'm out. 😉 Q

 

[TicklingDuo]

Re: Because...

perhaps from a fear of the reality NOT measuring up to the fantasy, and hence producing a letdown

I thinnk Q nails it for the majority of folks. The fear that reality won't live up to the fantasy is always a concern. Heck, I held off on things because of that myself. But, I think it comes down to having a strong enough desire to fulfill it that you're willing to take the chance. One thing that I found helpful was to give myself (and thus the fantasy) permission to change and differ as the real experience took place. There've been some nice surprises in doing that!

Ann

 

[njjen3953]

I agree Ann. One way, however, is to really talk to the person that you intend on having fullfil it for you. Tell every detail. I would think it would become even better if both understand and are in agreement.

Jen

 

[TicklingDuo]

True. However, I think the spontenaity could add a lot. SO, if this were done, it would have to be well in advance and then just have the other person(s) decide one day to go with it. The ultimate for me would be for them to do it without my ever having said a word about it. For me, that would be much more of a thrill than telling them what you want and having them go down the checklist...not that tthat can't be fun too!

Ann

 

[njjen3953]

Either way, I just do not think that repression is healthy if it is not a harmful fantasy. I am willing and eager to have every single one of my fantasies become realities. But, as Velma sings in the musical Chicago(now in theaters nationwide) "I can't do it alone". 🙁

 

[TicklingDuo]

Yep. I agree. And, as a popular commercial says...JUST DO IT!

Ann

 

[njjen3953]

When people IM or e-mail me saying they would like to meet me or play with me, I always say, "Make It Happen". That is my equivalent to, "Just Do It".

 

[Novus]

Fear is the reason

Acting out a fantasy could end in disaster. There is a lot of emotional risk in tickling fantasies. You could destroy a relationship and be labeled a freak or a perv for a long time. I would consider myself a very lucky man if just one of my fantasies were to come true.

 

[njjen3953]

Novus, that is why I say to talk about it. Don't just do something you know will result in rejection. If anyone wants to talk to me privately about a fantasy, e-mail me at [email protected]. I will listen without judgement and ya never know. We might be able to help eachother out.

One of the fantasies, I have that I intend on making a reality is finding that one special man to share my life with that will have no problem making both mine and his fantasies and dreams comes true. I know you are out there. Come find me.

 

[njjen3953]

Bump

I would really like to hear from more of you on this topic.

Thanks,
Jen

 

[venray]

All I know is that.....

SBG 1 last year helped me to fulfill 3 of my fantasies! Several others followed in the year since then....Can't wait to see what this year brings...

Ray

 

[tickleking]

I guess it depends on how you define a fantasy. I have been blessed to have a wife that indulges me on anything between us. No, I am not into "golden showers" or anything like that 🙂)

ANYTHING that relates to tickling, she has always indulged me. Feet in my lap at the restaurant while I tickle and she tries to order, tying her up cocoon style, etc. Each and everything that I have wanted to try, she has done. I ALWAYS respect her limits (about 30 to 45 seconds), so it has never been a problem. But then again, we are a boring old married couple in our 30's. But honestly, every fantasy I had growing up about tickling I have completed with her, and acting out <FONT SIZE="4">NONE</FONT> of them has let me down.

Once again, it depends on how you define fantasy.

Regards,

TK

 

[njjen3953]

So TK,
How did she find you? Does she have any advice for an adverturous, kinky lee who is looking? LOL

Jen

 

[tickleking]

Actually, I converted her. I have been a tickler since I was three or four. She indulges me, but is super ticklish. I can't say she enjoys it as others on this board do, other than the effect it has on me🙂

I found her and loved her for who she was without regard to tickling. The tickling just became part of our relationship, lucky for me. So sorry 🙁, no good advice from this corner of the peanut gallery.

Regards,

TK

 

[Mimi]

I have no hesitations in fulfilling my biggest fantasy. My only problem is finding that someone to help me fulfill it. I do agree with Q's reasoning though, as to why perhaps, many people fear going through with their own fantasies.


Mimi 🙂

 

[mabus]

njjen3953, (..and everyone else) YES, try to fulfill your fantasies!

What's being said here, is, basically, don't try to fulfill your dreams or fantasies, because you may not make it, or, if you do succeed, it won't be as good as you expect, and you'll be disappointed.

If you don't try to achieve those fantasies, you'll become depressed and your goal in life will be to sit at home and hope something good comes on TV. My family never tried to do anything, go on vacation, nothing, because "Oh, something might happen. You might have a wreck, or be robbed. And besides, it won't be worth the money. Oh, you'll be disappointed, it won't be as fun as they say. Oh, that for OTHER people." And because of this, my dad died sitting at home, watching TV, and doing and going no where. He was never very happy because of this. My mom seeks to do the same. You never get extremely happy, or sad. You're just THERE, existing, waiting to die. What's the point of living, njjen3953?

Yeah, okay, you may try and fail, the other person may laugh at you. Well, hell's bells! They suck for laughing at you! Go on to someone else. (Unless the fantasy is with a specific person.) Okay, and then, one day, lo and behold, you are able to live your fantasy. It will either be less than, good as, or better than expected. I hate to tell you, but it will probably be....BETTER than expected. Because you will be doing it in REAL life, njjen3953, and not merely DREAMING about it. But you're also forgetting another important point - after it's over, oh God, you'll have those wonderful memories to remember for the rest of your life!

And then, obviously, you may create new fantasies you wish to fulfill, or you may be lucky enough to repeat your fantasy, in a different way. But to never even TRY, I just can't understand it. Yes, you are guaranteed with never trying that you will NEVER be disappointed. But then, life will never be fulfilling either. It will just be stagnant and mundane, and life will devolve into "I have to go to work today, so I can go home and fall asleep, so I will be able to get up and go back to work tomorrow...and on and on until I die."

I say, start as soon as you read this message in achieving your fantasy. And then tell everyone how it went after you have achieved it. I'll be waiting.....

...oh, and of course, good luck....but I WILL be waiting for your eventual success and state of perpetual or permanent bliss that will follow....

 

[Maria_Rose]

I think once you feel secure in yourself and confident, there is no reason not to make an attempt at fulfilling a healthy fantasy. Fear is the only thing that ever held me back, but really the truth is I should be confident enough not to care what labels I get, and just be proud of who I am. Whether I am rejected or not is irrelevent, at least I can say I had the courage to try and do something good for my sensuality. As they say, no guts, no glory!

 

[njjen3953]

mabus,
I am not the one you need to convince here. I have every intention of fulfilling my fatasies. I just need some help. I need the right partner.

 

[Novus]

I also have intentions to carry out my fantasies but that is tempered with fear and reality. It is just a matter of finding the right partner but that search could take a lifetime.

 

[jpmtickle]

Hi, Jen...

My own experience is that rejection will kill a fantasy in a heartbeat. My own circumstances are being married to a wonderful woman who unfortunately thinks my fascination is not good. Even through persistent gentle prodding to explore tickling together her reactions have left me feeling very cold inside, vulnerable, and on some levels shattered. I can't remember who said it earlier but it's very true -- Exposing this side of us, meaning the members of this group, to those that are close to us can be enormous. Putting a guarded part of our beings that carries so much emotion, so much anticipation and hope of acceptance requires a lot of courage. I realize it's not this big for all of us, but I'm betting that I'm describing a lot of us just like me.

To have that exposure summarily rejected can be very discouraging or, as for me, sorry that I ever brought it up. Then it becomes a fantasy that really will never happen.

Anyway, sorry to sound negative, but I guess my bottom line is that fulfilling fantasies is an excellent goal--it seems to me that so many factors have to fall into place for it to happen.

Here's hoping for the both of us...
JP

 

[QBWeaver]

Sometimes the reality isn't as much fun as the fantasy.

In Fantasy, everything goes perfect. It's all fun. It all happens immediately with no time to set up things. Often in your mind is the whole scenario with possibly a romantic setting, candles, and who knows what.

In reality things go wrong sometimes. It's not always perfect. To actually set up that scenario you'd have to devote quite a bit of time. Being in bondage takes time and knowledge, it doesn't just "happen". People get muscle cramps and get achy.

It took us 3 days over last New Years to build the new rack/table contraption we have now. We only used it for 2 days.

I recall a time setting up scenes at my house that literally took hours, and sometimes days, to set up. During the set-up we would get tired and cranky. Then, only after everything was perfect, we'd get to the scene. The scene itself was fun but there was always an overshadowing of "dread" because of the earlier frustrations.

I've actually lived out several of my fantasies. Some were incredile and some were troublesome. But actually, for me, getting to spend time with a guy and enjoying tickling is always a fantasy for me. I've been fortunate to meet some incredible guys into this and I'm having the time of my life!

Jan

 

[njjen3953]

Sometimes we fantasize about a person that we meet online. The conversation is so great that even their pic looks more like the fantasy person and not what the person really looks like. When we meet our fantasy guy/girl they do not 100% live up to what we have built up in our minds. Unfortunately, many people are so disillusioned that they need to blame the other for not being honest or real.

That is one reason I make sure my pics are as real as possible. This is who I am and will not try to pretend to be different.

When Venray started making logos for the women that were on the sexy side, I wanted one as well, but I wanted him to do something with a real pic of me. I sent him my most recent foot pics and asked him to choose what he liked.This is in no way a criticism. Ray and Tracy have done wonderful work for us and if the logos are meant to represent a fantasy person that will not go into real life, that is great.

My purpose for being online is to make real life friends and connections with people. I am not looking for an adonis that has tons of experience. I do not want a fantasy guy. I want a real man with feelings, confidence and vulnerabilities that he can be open about. If he is not "the best" tickler or does not know how to do certain play related things that I enjoy, that is ok. His willingness to learn for me is what is important. I have the play experience that I do because I am the type that when I want something I go and get it. I would love to find someone that is the same.

In the personal ad I put in the personals section, I talk about what I have experience with, what I like and what I would like to learn. Sure, I have limits and so do we all. I know what I want and am open to learning more. WE NEVER STOP LEARNING.

I hope this does not offend, but instead, opens some minds here. Don't be afraid to to get what you want. I will keep searching until I find it. I am planning to transfer to a 4 year college in the fall. I do not have to stay in Albany or even on the east coast. If he is out there, anywhere, I will find him.

 

[QBWeaver]

I absolutely agree with you Jen. It's so much better to be upfront and honest. It's too easy to hide behind the anonymity of a computer screen.

I've had many guys im me and ask the a/s/l thing. I tell them the truth. They know I'm 50, they know I'm a woman, and they know I live in the Bay Area/San Jose area. One guy once asked me what I weighed which was an immediate turn off for me but I told him. He came back with an immediate nasty comment. I've never tried to make anyone think I look like some young, thin, model.

And I know that lots of the women who are not built like Cindy Crawford often get rejected by the guys online who aren't looking for anything but a model. That's just sad to me. The guys are missing out on a REAL woman who is REALLY ticklish and REALLY loves to play.

I too have posted my pic on TMF. I don't want to hide. I make a point of attending gatherings so people can meet me in person.

It's all about keeping it REAL. It's so much easier than the lies and pretending that goes on all too often.

 

[Mimi]

You know I will echo both of you whole heartedly. I have never been anything but upfront and honest about my appearance and size, and yes, it has cost me the opportunity to meet a few potential playmates, because they are only interested in girls who mirror their video tape fantasies of tickling. But I would rather get that out in the open before any true ideas are exchanged, to prevent either side from being disappointed further down the road.

This exact obstacle is what makes fulfilling my own fantasy twice as hard. Not only trying to find a man willing and capable of fulfilling it, but also one who can appreciate and accept me the way that I am.

Mimi