You know, you sit and wonder, what will his life experiences be like, and what kind of kid will he be? You think about so many things, it's all so fraught with hazards that just weigh on your brain. Aside from worrying about this and that, there are things that crop up that really knock you on your ass, like an old high school friend of my wife, whose 14-year-old (a boy with anger issues and other emotional things going on) killed himself this morning.
I never thought I would be a parent. I thought that my bohemian life would just go on and on. This baby's a miracle for the both of us, who have tried for so many years, and finally threw in the towel. I do know that all we can do is our best, day by day, but you think about things, you know?
As for now, there are diapers and bottles and nipples and what not. There's a little bleeding and soreness there, from when the doctor surgically removed the casing from the bratwurst this afternoon. The nursery was done up wonderfully; it went from being my baseball in the summer/football in the winter tackily painted den to a very comfortable, happy nursery, finished in splendid blue trim.
I have a beautiful boy. At this point- we're still at least two weeks away from what would've been his due date- he's capable of smiling, or crying (something he seems to keep to a minimum, if you can believe it), or furrowing his forehead, making scrunchy faces, all within the space of thirty seconds. He's an endless source of fascination.
Right now, I think I hear him stirring down the hall.
Thank you for sharing the ride with me, gang.
