Accepting and understanding our love and lust for tickling

[YouNeverKnow175]

I've been giving a lot of thought to this subject, because I think I still feel a sense of guilt - not so much around the fact that it's "different" than other straight-laced folks, but perhaps more around how strong my desire is. I think I struggle sometimes with trying to figure out my sexual desire because it's so strong and I think in our society, it's treated with a great deal of shame or an attitude that it's bad. It's an important part of me, and I want to understand it in a deeper way than just as "carnal lust."

Below is part of an email that I just wrote to my girlfriend, who knows about and embraces my fetishes (though I have to be careful not to go overboard and be too completely focused on them). I wanted to share it with you all because I find this exploration fascinating and am really trying to understand myself more. I welcome any insights!

"I want to continue to deepen my own understanding of my "quirks" and in doing so hopefully help you to understand them even more too - so you don't feel a dichotomy between "you" and "your feet" or "your ticklishness". I'm not saying that would entail an increased emphasis, just that you can see that when your feet drive me wild, it's not just lust for an object but rather a strong appreciation for a very private, intimate part of you that I find strikingly beautiful - because they are physically beautiful and more than anything because they are yours........and likewise with tickling - a sense while tickling definitely has something to do with power and control, if we do it with care and respect then it can be about affection, tenderness, vulnerability, and not holding anything back. I love when you laugh with reckless abandon because you're completely exposed, showing yourself.......and as for stories - I just love hearing about times in your everyday life that suddenly your sensitivity and vulnerability is exposed, when you least expect it - especially when it's completely innocent and accidental 🙂"

I'd also be interested to know how many of you have significant others who not only know about your fetish, but know about your involvement with this forum. I've never said anything to my gf about it before. If I'm using the forum as a way to post things like this an explore questions with other people who understand, I don't feel a sense of guilt. But if I'm reading other people's stories or looking at pictures, I sometimes wind up feeling guilty about it afterwards. Am I being silly? I see my girlfriend once a week and obviously - as any guy knows - I am wildly attracted to her but still am capable of thinking about and appreciating other women 🙂 I would not cheat - and make it a point not to tickle other women either.

Thanks for reading and for your insights, everyone.

 

[Scinsor]

Nothing to feel guilty about at all. Have you seen some of the other fetishes people have? Compared to them, tickling is perfectly normal. Don't sweat it dude, its part of who you are and there's no need to be ashamed of that.

 

[Vae]

I'd also be interested to know how many of you have significant others who not only know about your fetish, but know about your involvement with this forum. I've never said anything to my gf about it before. If I'm using the forum as a way to post things like this an explore questions with other people who understand, I don't feel a sense of guilt. But if I'm reading other people's stories or looking at pictures, I sometimes wind up feeling guilty about it afterwards. Am I being silly? I see my girlfriend once a week and obviously - as any guy knows - I am wildly attracted to her but still am capable of thinking about and appreciating other women 🙂 I would not cheat - and make it a point not to tickle other women either.

Thanks for reading and for your insights, everyone.

Honestly, when I first joined this forum, I was apprehensive. I didn't know how honest I really wanted to be. I remember that I actually showed this forum to my fiance. He knew I was struggling with this fetish. I had just "come out" to him and I felt very naked and vulnerable. Even though I now had a partner who was more than willing to share this aspect of myself, I was completely unwilling to try. I felt dirty, strange and guilty still that I enjoyed something immensely that even I felt was a bit off.

He suggested that I keep posting on here. He felt that I could talk to others who had the same feelings I did and to figure out what I really like. He even wanted to sit down with me and watch a few clips (this never happened. I was too embarassed). He himself wanted to understand what good tickling was. He wanted to know the different aspects of it. Overall, he felt it was vital to me to stay on the forum, as he believed that if I didn't open up, even virtually, that I would never come to grips with the fetish.

Now, a year later, tickling is apart of our sex life, but it doesn't dominate it. After a while, the "newness" of tickling died out and I started wanting other things. I learned I have a very mild foot fetish that we've explored. Now we have many things, from tickling and "vanilla sex," that we love.

So what am I saying ultimately? TMF helped me sex life, because I could come to grips with something I had told myself was filthy, even since I was 15, when I figured out I had a tickling fetish. Now, I've told a couple of my friends (and all of them think it's either really cool or cute) and it doesn't really matter.

Don't hold too tight on any fetish. Most of the time, we make a bigger deal out of it than it actually is. Once you start experiencing it regularly (if you aren't already), you won't feel so strange anymore. Ultimately, you should tell your girlfriend about the forum. Hell, there are some who are here because they are vanillas themselves, but their SO has a tickling fetish, and they want to learn more about it. Let her know about it; read some stuff to her, especially the serious and non-retarded conversations you can find. You'll learn a lot. 🙂

 

[Ayla ny]

Honestly, when I first joined this forum, I was apprehensive. I didn't know how honest I really wanted to be. I remember that I actually showed this forum to my fiance. He knew I was struggling with this fetish. I had just "come out" to him and I felt very naked and vulnerable. Even though I now had a partner who was more than willing to share this aspect of myself, I was completely unwilling to try. I felt dirty, strange and guilty still that I enjoyed something immensely that even I felt was a bit off.

He suggested that I keep posting on here. He felt that I could talk to others who had the same feelings I did and to figure out what I really like. He even wanted to sit down with me and watch a few clips (this never happened. I was too embarassed). He himself wanted to understand what good tickling was. He wanted to know the different aspects of it. Overall, he felt it was vital to me to stay on the forum, as he believed that if I didn't open up, even virtually, that I would never come to grips with the fetish.

Now, a year later, tickling is apart of our sex life, but it doesn't dominate it. After a while, the "newness" of tickling died out and I started wanting other things. I learned I have a very mild foot fetish that we've explored. Now we have many things, from tickling and "vanilla sex," that we love.

So what am I saying ultimately? TMF helped me sex life, because I could come to grips with something I had told myself was filthy, even since I was 15, when I figured out I had a tickling fetish. Now, I've told a couple of my friends (and all of them think it's either really cool or cute) and it doesn't really matter.

Don't hold too tight on any fetish. Most of the time, we make a bigger deal out of it than it actually is. Once you start experiencing it regularly (if you aren't already), you won't feel so strange anymore. Ultimately, you should tell your girlfriend about the forum. Hell, there are some who are here because they are vanillas themselves, but their SO has a tickling fetish, and they want to learn more about it. Let her know about it; read some stuff to her, especially the serious and non-retarded conversations you can find. You'll learn a lot. 🙂

Just wanted to tell you how much I loved reading this. Here's to being being open and honest.

 

[LoveSoles81]

I love my foot/tickling fetish. I would never change that about me. the girls i have dated find it odd at first, and then love it. I asked my current g/f today if she could change that about me, and she said no. She would miss it.

 

[Texas_Tickle]

I've been giving a lot of thought to this subject, because I think I still feel a sense of guilt - not so much around the fact that it's "different" than other straight-laced folks, but perhaps more around how strong my desire is.

Ya know, I hear ya and know where you're coming from. I was a pretty heavy poster here once and then had a "psycho moment" (Psycho was the original founder of TMF and he said left, saying tickling was a sin and how we're all going to hell, blah blah blah)

I did some serious fucking soul-searching the last 1 1/2 - 2 years, wondering if God and Jesus actually existed or were just figments of an over-active imagination. I was in a pretty dark place for a while, spiritually speaking and came close to going over to the "other side" (if you know what I mean)

But luckily I came back to my senses. I mean God created us... each of us, good for bad. Just like a gay can't help being gay, it's the way they were made (but that's another topic for another time)

Bottom line, is I think I'm cool with God and God knows I am only human, with desires and He knows that I will stumble and fall, but at the end of the day, I know He will be there to pick me up.

Sorry, I was kinda ranting off, but just needed to get that off my chest. What I'm trying to say brother, is this is how we are made. We (for the most part) didn't choose this. It chose us.

And I for one, am glad it did.