I had the same problem for a long time. I mean, I still think about being tickled obsessively, but over the years I forced myself to talk about it with others because, if I didn't, nothing would get better and I'd just be suffering alone in my head. Now, pretty much all of my close friends and almost all my past partners (plus my current partner) know about my tickling obsession and many of them tickle me (especially my partner), both casually and sometimes for more extended periods when we are just hanging out.
My main advice is this: it's important to be honest with those we care about, especially regarding needs that are innately important to us, but aren't being met.
Friends and loved ones are there to help you, just as you would (presumably) be there for them in their time of need. It is very difficult to talk about tickling with others, especially when you need someone else to actually do it to you and not just talk about it with you, but from what I have experienced, this is what I have found:
1. It's a lot bigger of a deal to you than it is to other people. What I mean is that, though it will seem incredibly difficult for you to talk about and ask someone to help you with (due to your own insecurities with it, embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of judgment or misunderstanding, and also the general difficulty that people in our community have talking about tickling or sometimes even saying the word "tickle"), the other person in the conversation does not have those feelings of fear and embarrassment associated with that conversation. They will hear you out, and they will almost certainly be calm/neutral while doing so.
2. Other people generally don't think it's embarrassing to enjoy being tickled. To them, it's the same for you to say you enjoy being tickled as it is to say you enjoy some other physical bonding activity that not everyone likes, such as playful biting or whispering in a partner's ear, just as examples. Tickling does not elect the same anxious/nervous response in them, so they are unlikely to instantly consider it odd or incredibly off-kilter for you to say it's something you enjoy.
3. Other people likely won't understand it. People with obsessive relationships to tickling have incredibly complex and often incredibly emotional reactions and facets to it that are difficult to explain to someone who doesn't. Many people don't truly have obsessions with anything even, so even the concept of being literally obsessed with something will be foreign to them. Additionally, many people, by default, don't like being tickled themselves. It may take some time to explain your feelings and needs with enough detail and clarity that they can get an idea of what you are going through and why you need it. Sometimes explanations can take even a few conversations to get across, but if the people really care for you, they will be patient and try to understand as best they can.
4. BUT, just because they don't understand does not mean that they won't respect and/or indulge it. Like I said, pretty much all my close friends and loved ones, past and present, know about and partake in my obsession. Tickling, especially in casual, friendly contexts, is generally benign. People find it entertaining. They find it funny. And generally, friends and loved ones like to see their friends and loved ones laugh. In many ways, it can be a win-win. Not only that, but it is generally much easier to get someone to tickle you than it is to get others to let you tickle them, since, like I said before, people typically don't like being tickled themselves. Once the conversation is had and your needs and obsession are adequately explained, the person is likely to help you. Over time, because of my disclosures to friends and partners, tickling has become a normal part of my relationships and friendships to the point that it's almost second nature to all involved.
5. These conversations will be shaky at first, but you will get better at having them. It takes practice, but at least it's something you get to practice with people who care about you. Be prepared for people to have questions or need some time to think about it depending on their own situations, i.e., if a friend of yours is in a relationship, they may see tickling you as being too involved. But regardless of these considerations and variables, I have NEVER had a terrible experience having this conversation. Almost all of my experiences have been either very positive or neutral at worst. And I have had this conversation upwards of 30 times.
In terms of beginning the conversation, I suggest just being honest and letting your friend/loved one know that you have something important you want to talk to them about that is difficult for you to disclose. By beginning this way, they are primed to truly listen and take you seriously.
In terms of bringing up the topic of tickling more generally without being obvious or completely/suspiciously random, it can be more difficult. Some ideas might be:
1. Mention that you were looking at some educational videos on youtube or something and you learned about that fact that tickle torture was historically used on royals in China because it left no marks. It's objectively interesting and will likely elicit a conversational response from the other person.
2. Same thing, but about the studies done on rats that tickling increases the happiness in rats and they they "laugh" when tickled. Same likely result.
Scenarios that might lead to you being tickled are mostly the general "tickle someone first and see if they will tickle you back", play keep-away with someone's book or pen or something to get them to tickle you in an attempt to get it back, things like that.
In the interest of full disclosure and scientific/situational variables that may have assisted in my success in my experiences: (1) I am female. It is more common for people to tickle females due to (unfair) gender stereotypes and expectations. (2) I am objectively attractive. Another bias in my favor. (3) I am in my mid-20s. People over 30 partake in tickling other adults much less than people in and around their 20s due to age expectations, social norms, etc.
I hope that this was helpful to you. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need more help.
-BlueFlame
