Ah, the joys of being single...

[Duke Diablo]

I've been looking around TT, and it has really struck me how there are actually a lot of threads dedicated to relationships, be it connecting tickling with relationship (how it affects it, how to bring tickling into it, how to tell her we like it, etc.) or just relationships in general (both the good and bad sides).

However, I've rarely seen... no... HAVEN'T seen, as far as I remember, anyone claiming they wouldn't like to end up in a relationship (except for me). Now, I know that this forum is dedicated to tickling, which is as such an interaction between two people, and is sexual to some (if not most) of us. For that, of course, you need a partner, and I can clearly understand why almost everyone here is into relationships. Not only because of the reason we're all gathered here, but also for the love and support people get from relationships.

But, what I'd like to know is if there is anyone out there who doesn't feel like having a relationship, and doesn't seem to want one in near/distant future. I myself can't seem to place myself in a relationship for several reasons:

1) No time for it. When I'm studying for tests, even my parents see me once or twice a week... and we live in the same home. My friends already know that I won't be seeing them for a few weeks when test times arrive.

2) The overall fuss over relationships, the things people do for them, the society's general attitude that ones who aren't in relationship are... incomplete, if you'd like, is forming a repulsive image of relationships in my mind. I just don't feel like running after girls, and I'm completely incapable of any kind of romance, possibly because lack of emotions.

3) There are three things girls can give me: their love, their support and sex. First two I don't need and don't want, and third one I can easily replace with my hand.

So, anyone else share the same thoughts?

 

[melanie2]

i will say this..don't rush into a relationship just to have a relationship..

it's better to be single than to be part of something that you might not be one hundred percent feel good about..

i know this one person who before the age of 21 has been divorced twice..that's a shame..and that's also ridiculous..

i see nothing wrong in being on your own, i sometimes wish i had waited a bit, and lived on my own first..tested the waters so to speak..but i cannot imagine my life without my husband..

 

[Duke Diablo]

No worries, Izzy... I won't be entering any relationships for a long, long time, for reasons given above. Thank you for the wonderful advices, though🙂

 

[melanie2]

^ when you do...that person will be extremely fortunate..you are a very intelligent young man...

 

[Duke Diablo]

^ when you do...that person will be extremely fortunate..you are a very intelligent young man...

Why, thank you, Izzy. *bows head* The prob is... *sighs* I know it. I got self-confidence to spare (dancing can-can on town's main square, getting up on the empty dancefloor in the club and starting to dance, etc. really do require self-confidence), maybe even too much for my own good, to the point where I'm sometimes egoistical. However, the main problem is this: I'm feeling good as I am right now, with no real need to find the relationship, except for getting my mom and dad to finally shut up (they've been nagging me to find a girlfriend for four years now, and I don't plan on letting up now). Also, with being non-emotional, I see no usefulness in relationship.

 

[Lulu1]

See, in my ridiculous little town, I was talked about as a closet lesbian because I'd never had a boyfriend, and I hugged all my female friends a lot. Nothing against homosexuality, but I do not swing that way. I just never had any boys interested in me like that. I've always been on the chubby side (although I've been steadily losing weight since late July, huzzah!), and as unfortunate and cynical as it sounds... well, my school was full of shallow people, so my only chances were outside of school, and it would just figure that I never had many friends either.

I know, I know, an awesome chick like me not having friends is just preposterous. But I was avoided for probably a really dumb reason, like being too smart for the idiots in my school (seriously I'd sit there reading Harry Potter in Biology and STILL know the answer, and I'm not even good at science), or being too "goth" as they didn't know anything about anything really goth, and I hung out with the "bad crowd." Psh.

Anyway, so yeah, -never- had a relationship. And yeah, every now and then I do get pretty down about it, but it's their loss. I try to be as friendly as possible. I'm as optimistic and silly with everyone in real life as I am online. So if they don't want to be my friend or whatever, too bad for them.

Not that I would automatically say no if anyone -did- want anything with me... Just that I am perfectly content with being single. 😀

 

[Senshi1]

I agree with Izzy about looking for the sake of looking. It seems to come up and smack you in the face when you least expect it, and from the most unlikely places. If a relationship is worth pursuing, you just know.

 

[blackmagicjack1]

Single is a great place to be and it doesn't have to exclude romance or companionship from your life. It's like being in the toy shop and being able to choose any toy you want. There just seems to be a lot of pressure not to be single. For many reasons there are just people out there who do perfectly fine on their own, but become a real mess when they get into a relationship.

Seriously it's about knowing what you want and learning to enjoy what you have. I've been single for a very long time and the only thing that really gets me in trouble (besides money, but that's a different topic) is the belief that a person needs to be in a relationship to be happy. I'd be a lot happier guy if I could shuck that belief out the door and just enjoy the gifts that come my way.

If there is any downside to being single - it's having too many choices.

 

[kopfhorer1]

2) The overall fuss over relationships, the things people do for them, the society's general attitude that ones who aren't in relationship are... incomplete, if you'd like, is forming a repulsive image of relationships in my mind. I just don't feel like running after girls, and I'm completely incapable of any kind of romance, possibly because lack of emotions.

3) There are three things girls can give me: their love, their support and sex. First two I don't need and don't want, and third one I can easily replace with my hand.

So, anyone else share the same thoughts?

On point number two: I'm with you all the way. Yeah, I'd like to have a long-term relationship - with the right person. Methinks the reason for the appalling failure rate in marriages is due to the idea that if Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't come along instantly, then you'd darn well better SETTLE. Settling for being with someone who may or more likely may not be right for you has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Why MANUFACTURE trouble? Oh, you might end up dying alone. Well, unless you both die simultaneously in a plane crash or something, one of you will inevitably end up burying the other.

As for your mom and pop bugging you to get coupled up, you have my sympathies. There's no reason for you to get with someone who isn't right for you, especially if you aren't ready. You might have to put your foot down, let them know exactly where you stand, and maybe remind them that an advantage of your singleness is that you haven't got any STD's or paternity suits to worry about!

On point number three: If you're happy with a diet of strictly solo sex, more power to ya! You'll have none of the problems and frustrations of those of us on the dating circuit!

Isabeau - Divorced twice at age 21? Damn, but I feel for him or her.

Lulu - Doesn't it suck that most people STILL cannot distinguish simple affection from sexual activity. I'm sorry you had to put up with stupid-assed queer-baiting. I'm sorry that you had to put up with being ostracized for having a brain and not being afraid to use it. But as Larry King used to say, that's America.

Blackmagicjack - I read you loud and clear about being programmed to believe that you cannot be happy without being part of a couple. I'm wrestling with that idea myself. My own internal conflict comes from wanting to be independent and also needing human contact and yes, being tired of sleeping alone, something I think a lot of us, even those of us who are otherwise happy being single, can relate to.

 

[the_jimmy_james]

Lulu

If you had been able to, it would have been hilarious to have kissed a girl at the prom or something just to bite the proverbial soap at a town that cares way too much about your business.

I didn't have a girlfriend until college, and people thought because it was that, it was okay to not just guess I was gay, but act like it was okay to insult me as though being gay were bad.

It's not.

It's not going to save them from the combined wrath of Iron Man, The A Team and Khan, though.

The best way to deal with pressure to enter a relationship is to turn the tables on the people that put pressure on you.

"Why would I want to ruin my life the way you did?"
"I'd rather not risk the pain of separation like you're going to face."

And my favorite.

"You're going to end up with kid before you're 20 and be screwed for the rest of your life!"

 

[Duke Diablo]

Senshi: Thanks, m8. Again, no worries... this little fella ain't gonna step up into relationship... well, hopefully never.

Lulu: I feel ya. There has been constant pressure on me to find a girlfriend by both my friends and parents. My dad sometimes even teases me I'm gay (while there's nothing wrong with it, I just like women too much for it to be true). As for being cast out because of brains, well, same thing happened to me in elementary school, for whole 8 years. As one of the best students in school, I was constantly avoided and picked on by others. Things slowly changed when I turned 13 and started practicing soccer and basketball (at the same time), which slowly made me too strong to be easily picked on. High school was completely different story than elementary, but I'm sidestepping from the topic. Sad to see it happens to you as well🙁 But also, glad to see you're content with being single 🙂

Blackmagicjack: Word, m8. While I am single, I do have an array of friends, male and female alike, so it's not like I'm completely on my own. And about making yourself believe that you're happy as a single, I'm way past that point... I'm at the point where I can really see all the joys of being single. And there are many of them indeed.

Kopf: Exactly, m8! Those manufactured relationships really make me sick, being with someone just for the sake of being with someone. True, your parents really wish for you to get married in most cases, and they keep urging you to marry the girl/guy if they like her/him, but they don't live with him/her and they don't know if everything works for you two. Hell, my parents are already urging me to get a gf and marry her as soon as I'm out of college since they want grandchildren (I told them that I don't need a relationship to make them that, and that I'll gladly obey if they support and raise it). I think I made myself clear to them on multiple occasions: I'm staying single🙂

 

[Duke Diablo]

The best way to deal with pressure to enter a relationship is to turn the tables on the people that put pressure on you.

"Why would I want to ruin my life the way you did?"
"I'd rather not risk the pain of separation like you're going to face."

And my favorite.

"You're going to end up with kid before you're 20 and be screwed for the rest of your life!"

Nah... what's enough is just raising your hand, placing it into fist and saying:
"See her? She's always ready, willing, doesn't complain and you don't have to cater to her."

Sorry to hear about your probs too, m8. I mean, what's with people sticking their noses into other people's lives. Are their lives so boring that they have to find entertainment in others?

 

[3xPIN]

my thoughts on your reason.

1) yeah sure you don't have time now but you may someday. And you don't need to be with some one 24-7 to be in a relationship with anything other than a parasite. and comparing your parents to a sig other, seriously?

2) Never let society tell you how things are!

3) Yeah, nice! If your girlfriend doesn't want to give you sex there is always your hand and vasaline is cheap. And ladies... don't get me started! Walls of dildoes...dildos...dildooos (plural on dildo?) at the porn store, you get bent ones, and colored ones and things shaped like turtles or fruit and booklets on how to........... sorry, I got off point. (yes i am going some where with this) But what about good old fashion cuddling or just holding hands or talking about Nintendo DS games that come out or making out half-way through Silence of the Lambs? (that last one is just for me)

Some times all you need is someone to get to second base with at the end of long hard day to keep you going. (tickle base was what my ex and I kept coming back to....mmmm good times) And so many of us loose site of that. It is a damn shame that our competative spirits make us forget that sometimes all some one needs is a foot rub to remember they are loved and not alone in the world.

I may be cynical as all living hell, but some of you people need to lighten up!

PS 3 is not "several"

 

[3xPIN]

See, in my ridiculous little town, I was talked about as a closet lesbian because I'd never had a boyfriend, and I hugged all my female friends a lot. Nothing against homosexuality, but I do not swing that way. I just never had any boys interested in me like that. I've always been on the chubby side (although I've been steadily losing weight since late July, huzzah!), and as unfortunate and cynical as it sounds... well, my school was full of shallow people, so my only chances were outside of school, and it would just figure that I never had many friends either.

I know, I know, an awesome chick like me not having friends is just preposterous. But I was avoided for probably a really dumb reason, like being too smart for the idiots in my school (seriously I'd sit there reading Harry Potter in Biology and STILL know the answer, and I'm not even good at science), or being too "goth" as they didn't know anything about anything really goth, and I hung out with the "bad crowd." Psh.

Anyway, so yeah, -never- had a relationship. And yeah, every now and then I do get pretty down about it, but it's their loss. I try to be as friendly as possible. I'm as optimistic and silly with everyone in real life as I am online. So if they don't want to be my friend or whatever, too bad for them.

Not that I would automatically say no if anyone -did- want anything with me... Just that I am perfectly content with being single. 😀

I had a friend who played Tetris on his calculator in my psychology class in High school and answered most of the questions.... did I just type that...

 

[JackVanderson]

About being single:
I've enjoyed it. Really I have.
But, I'm begining to really want to have a girlfriend.
Of course, I'd rather try to find someone who shares my fetish with me.
So I'm searching here lol.
(yes I know, my chances are small. Please stop driving that spike into my bleeding heart) (I've been told that alot lol)

Nostalgia time:
*flashback*
Highshcool was good for me being single.
Almost all of the girls in my school were constantly dumping their bf's or being dumped.
I was fortunate that I dodged teh constant drama.

 

[Bashiku]

There goes last trace of romance in this thread...

 

[JackVanderson]

There goes last trace of romance in this thread...

O_O
Oh hell, did I do that?
(will remove post if so)

 

[Duke Diablo]

1) yeah sure you don't have time now but you may someday. And you don't need to be with some one 24-7 to be in a relationship with anything other than a parasite. and comparing your parents to a sig other, seriously?

But being in relationship also isn't about seeing each other once a month... which would prolly be the case during test weeks.

2) Never let society tell you how things are!

I don't : ) If I did, I'd be feeling bad about not having a gf and would have found myself one.

But what about good old fashion cuddling or just holding hands or talking about Nintendo DS games that come out or making out half-way through Silence of the Lambs? (that last one is just for me)

I don't care about that, really. That part goes under 'love' and I already said I don't need it, don't care about it, nor do I want it. If I don't have sex with her, we might as well just be friends. Maybe you don't need sex in relationship, but I sure as hell would.

Some times all you need is someone to get to second base with at the end of long hard day to keep you going. (tickle base was what my ex and I kept coming back to....mmmm good times) And so many of us loose site of that. It is a damn shame that our competative spirits make us forget that sometimes all some one needs is a foot rub to remember they are loved and not alone in the world.

Nah... I got my will to keep me going. Never failed me so far. That went under 'support' in my third reason, and I don't need that either, nor do I care for it. I'm good as I am, I'm intelligent, successful, and I have self-confidence to spare. I have no need of 'feeling loved' since, on a logical base, it really means nothing in my performance.

 

[Bashiku]

O_O
Oh hell, did I do that?
(will remove post if so)

Nah I was attacking duke... You know I am single my whole life now and I wondered how it would be to have someone who would love you... and Duke explained it in three points:
-I can pleasure myself
-I have enough friends to support me
-It is overrated...
But isn't relationship a bit more, love, secrecy, intimacy? That kind of thing I am supporting...

 

[Lulu1]

Another thing that furthers my single happiness is watching my friends. My best friend, for example.. oh my goodness. She CANNOT function without that ass. And he is NOT a nice boy. He's spoiled to the point that I almost can't believe it they're not acting. He's 19, I believe, and he doesn't drive just because he doesn't want to. He enjoys having everyone else chauffeur him around. He was too lazy to get off his butt and apply to college, which he already waited a year for so my friend could catch up--which is sad, considering that wouldn't have required him to physically stand or anything, and he's ALWAYS on his butt. He's mean. He makes fun of everyone. She doesn't even realize it half the time when he's insulted her. She's given him four second chances. It's just ridiculous.

And I would continue, but I have to get to class. o.o; I'm running late all of a sudden.

 

[JackVanderson]

Another thing that furthers my single happiness is watching my friends. My best friend, for example.. oh my goodness. She CANNOT function without that ass. And he is NOT a nice boy. He's spoiled to the point that I almost can't believe it they're not acting. He's 19, I believe, and he doesn't drive just because he doesn't want to. He enjoys having everyone else chauffeur him around. He was too lazy to get off his butt and apply to college, which he already waited a year for so my friend could catch up--which is sad, considering that wouldn't have required him to physically stand or anything, and he's ALWAYS on his butt. He's mean. He makes fun of everyone. She doesn't even realize it half the time when he's insulted her. She's given him four second chances. It's just ridiculous.

And I would continue, but I have to get to class. o.o; I'm running late all of a sudden.

Ugh! I hate guys like that.
That's horrible, it sucks for her but she's bringing it on herself by staying with him.
If I were in your position Lulu, I would SO break them up. It would hurt your friend, but it's better for her in the long run if this guy is as bad as you say he is.

 

[Lulu1]

Ugh! I hate guys like that.
That's horrible, it sucks for her but she's bringing it on herself by staying with him.
If I were in your position Lulu, I would SO break them up. It would hurt your friend, but it's better for her in the long run if this guy is as bad as you say he is.

No, I'm DONE. I've tried to make her see sense plenty of times. I'll think I have her a little closer to "the light" as it were, and then she'll have me completely fooled. We're actually texting right now and she's acting like it's all my fault we haven't spoken in a while, when every time I call her he forces himself into the conversation just to make fun of me, and she NEVER takes the initiative to call me. Text, yes, but never call, so I don't see much reason for me to waste minutes when she won't.

But off-topic. Just a bit.

They're perfect for each other, really. I won't go into details about it, but.. psh. I'm not going to waste my time on their idiotic relationship.
So I love not having one. xD

 

[3xPIN]

But being in relationship also isn't about seeing each other once a month... which would prolly be the case during test weeks.

Woudjou... ahh... says Who? who made the rule you always have to be together? or that you can't study together? And what exactly do you mean by "seeing each other"? Like saying hi or having dinner or what? You are awfully ambiguous.

 

[3xPIN]

I don't : ) If I did, I'd be feeling bad about not having a gf and would have found myself one.

Good for you! :ayyy:

 

[3xPIN]

I don't care about that, really. That part goes under 'love' and I already said I don't need it, don't care about it, nor do I want it. If I don't have sex with her, we might as well just be friends. Maybe you don't need sex in relationship, but I sure as hell would.



Nah... I got my will to keep me going. Never failed me so far. That went under 'support' in my third reason, and I don't need that either, nor do I care for it. I'm good as I am, I'm intelligent, successful, and I have self-confidence to spare. I have no need of 'feeling loved' since, on a logical base, it really means nothing in my performance.

Wait, what? You would need sex or it wouldn't be a relationship? Yet you say your will "never failed me so far"? To me that seems to be an inherent contradiction. And what "performance" are you talking about