MindOverWhatMatters
TMF Poster
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2024
- Messages
- 147
- Points
- 28
In my recent sessions, I’ve tried to approach the setting with a question in mind. For example, my first written experience detailed my thoughts around whether I was ticklish or not. Then moving to, “what does it mean to accept being ticklish?”
These questions have helped me to steer towards uncovering pieces of my passion in tickling and exploring my fetish from a perspective of positive influence. To think that I’ve spent so much time trying to curb my love of this beautiful and tactile phenomenon seems hurtful at best and debilitating and worst. In truth, I think I’ve limited myself in how I’ve experienced this part of my very make up, and reflecting on that notion makes me feel sad and honestly a touch regretful.
Still, my newfound aim in having more frequent sessions has taught me to remain present through this exploration, and to continue a sense of forward progress towards a fuller acceptance of myself.
Interestingly, and thankfully enough, my wife couldn’t be more supportive of this journey. I think she knows how hard I’ve struggled to overcome my disparate feelings about my fetish, and she gets to see in real time how I’ve worked to accept this part of my life and body fully.
In keeping with the rhythm of fully investigating, I had her read my pieces on the prior experiences. This was difficult for me because I’m protective of this newly bloomed confidence. Not that I would ever doubt her discretion and openness, but I did feel some trepidation about sounding too laser-focused on a tickle fetish, and have my experiences read like incoherent ramblings. I think I could talk for days about tickling (perhaps the result of such a pent up topic in youth and early adulthood), but I always return to wondering if someone without a tickle fetish would hold an interest.
Again, thankfully enough, my wife is a total bad ass, and the absolute greatest partner one could hope for. So, she read through.
Now, there are four items of note that were sparked from my wife reading through:
1) she answered my question. Am I ticklish? Her answer was a resounding yes. She told me that even though she was more ticklish overall, my tummy was more ticklish than her tummy. There was no hesitation or doubt, or shame, or embarrassment. She said it truthfully and powerfully, and it gave me butterflies to hear it aloud. In the days after our initial conversation, I asked her to say it again, and melted with each time she did. Saying it as a confirmation, “I am ticklish”, feels like a true acceptance of self, and it’s hard to put into perspective how much that makes me enjoy being who I am.
2) I think I’m a bit more open to talking about tickling since her reading. In all honesty, it’s not as though we never discussed it prior, but I would always feel a sense of shame if I talked too much, or asked too many questions, or droned on too long, or just wanted to spend time talking about it. It feels unique, as though you are passionate about birdwatching, but nobody else you know cares about birds. I know she doesn’t have a passion for tickling, but she appreciates that it’s a part of me. So going forward, I will fully commit and not avoid any questions or reservations I have about talking about it, at least to her. I know she’s not a “bird watcher” (totally fine if actual birdwatching is your thing), and I think it must be interesting to talk “birds“ with another enthusiast, if for no other reason than to understand the commonalities of some of these feelings. That said, it’s so important to feel supported, and I’m grateful that I have a partner that knows that, because I know not everyone is lucky enough to feel the same.
3) apparently, my wife looked up some information on tickling. We had a quicker (mini) session (any and all sessions are good) in which I was tied down. I had asked her what being “ticklish“ meant in her own words. If she thought my tummy was more ticklish, but she laughed more, then how did she make the distinction? While I was blindfolded and tied to our bed, she started to lightly graze her nails around my body. While she was gently caressing the sides of my feet, she mentioned that she looked up reactions to tickling. She told me that there’s a funny response that some people have while being lightly tickled, in that they form an almost goofy smile. Not a laugh, but a “silly “smile. She then said the smile was away for the lee to indicate submissiveness to the ler, to avoid potential danger. In other words, “if I look appeased, this person won’t tickle me further“. She said it was a common defense mechanism, and that in theory, the ler would be able to read the smile and not progress further. For those that love tickling, it’s probably fairly common to know that a “silly” smile doesn’t make someone tickle you less. To further cement my ticklishness, she said that sometimes, tickling was a bit too painful (it’s actually one of the reasons that I don’t tickle her as much in full sessions), but for a lot of people, tickling is somewhere in between pain and something else (pleasure? Sensation overload? Other?). To demonstrate, she pressed her nails a little deeper into my feet, and we both agreed that it was more on the painful side. To be clear, it wasn’t an aggressive act, but a cleared demonstration to denote that one’s foot most likely reacts to sensory pain. Then she let her fingers drift so gently around the sides, tops, and soles of my feet. I didn’t laugh, but my toes twitched. As soon as they did, she asked if it hurt, and I said no. She told me that was a tickle. She continued to lightly tickle and said, “if this isn’t a tickle, then why do your toes move?” At this point, I’ve recognized that I’m ticklish, so I admitted in real time that “I’m ticklish”. Nothing exasperated, just definitive. Finally, she said “if you still don’t believe you are ticklish, then why do you have that “silly”smile?” She was right. I felt it on my face. No laughter, but I was smiling, and my toes were twitching to her touch. I was presenting with the same smile she told me about. The one that would try to “convince” her that she need not tickle further. The same smile that was my only defense to her touch. But again, we all know that a smile does not make anyone tickle you less.
4) I had mentioned to my wife that I think I’m the most ticklish when the session is patient and methodical. I’ve never been one to jump when somebody grabs my sides, but I think the most interesting tickling happens when your brain starts to say, “those fingers will move away soon, so just hold out”, and then they don’t. I think it’s my brain’s natural inclination to defy all tickles. I start by immediately backtracking on the fact that I’m ticklish. Then, I focus on the fact that tickling doesn’t make me laugh (apparently there have been a few exceptions on this front), and finally, I still find it difficult to give in fully to the tickles. I’m trying, but that’s where patient, methodical tickling comes in. In the past, I think there were times in which I was close to laughing, but the sensations went away before my defenses could “give up”. All that to say, our next session was the longest we’ve ever had.
For this session, I was tied spread eagle (if it’s not broken…) and my wife was in a fantastic gold sequined bikini. Even while tied up, I love the feeling of her bare skin on mine, because the soft texture of her skin and the firm control of her touch is exhilarating.
She tickled me for nearly an hour, all while edging throughout the session. It’s difficult to detail all that transpires in the space of an hour, but there are moments that stick out. Specifically:
-I have several tickle tools, some better than others, depending on the day. This includes a pair of very fine, thick paint brushes. The bristles are feathery soft, but the density of them create a heavier curtain that drapes across one’s skin. These are especially useful when used in contrast so that they flick alternately against the soul of a foot or the indent of an underarm.
-I found myself asking for her to tickle my armpits. We both know that my tummy is the sweet spot when it comes to tickles that make my body work, but as she was taking her time in exploring, I found that I was intrigued by the level of ticklishness in my armpits. I like the vulnerability that comes with any tickle spot, as they are usually places that aren’t regularly touched or explored, particularly in duration. I think this is also an example of patience through tickling. A quick flicker of fingers in my armpits is likely not going to cause much of a reaction, but the focus of a longer session to really tickle test certain spots and thoroughly exhaust a tickle area is sublime.
-it’s very difficult to replicate the sensation of tickling for me without edging. I don’t consider myself super ticklish, except when I feel additional sexual stimulation. Then, my tummy turns into a hot zone of wiggling, writhing, and little, tiny sit-ups, depending on how it’s touched. There were a couple of times in the session that I knew I wasn’t going to last, so I asked my wife to switch to just tickling. It doesn’t quite have the same heightened effect, but this could also be a patient process. I love being tickled in general, so the longer it all lasts, the more fun it all, becomes for me.
-I didn’t laugh in this session. I’m interested to see which tickles or which spots produce a laugh again. There’s nothing wrong in exploiting a good spot.
-I’m always keen to explore more of what makes me ticklish. Knowing that my armpits were feeling perhaps more sensitive than usual, I did wonder what baby oil might add to the sensation. Since I’ve started writing about my sessions, the use of baby oil on my tummy has been a bit of a revelation. I do think it would be interesting to feel what this does for prolonged tickling on my underarms, nipples, and feet.
-In typical fashion, our session ended when I came. Or so I thought. Usually, that’s how the session ends, and I get to bask in the afterglow of climax, tactile stimulation, adoration, and comfort. Except this time was slightly different. My tummy was still covered in oil, and my wife continued with some slow, gentle squeezes. I was still moaning from climaxing, so she was letting me ride out that wave, but then I noticed a different kind of smile run across my face. When she continued to provide little squeezing tickles, I kept getting close to laughing. In the moment, I thought that maybe it was because I was shy. This was a long session, so she had already given me so much love and attention, so I thought maybe I was a bit embarrassed that she was still so focused on me. I even said a couple of times “you’re still going?”. The thing is, I said it through a stifled laugh. Then I thought, “this might be really ticklish”. So much so, that I may have been masking my laughter through “being shy”. I honestly felt that in the moment, my brain went right back to being in the mode of “hang on, do we want to show that we are this ticklish?”. Because it felt like suddenly, I was smiling and giggling when I didn’t mean to. If I had forced myself to accept the idea that “this really tickles”, I think I might’ve been in a very vulnerable position (naked, post-orgasm), and at the whim of someone that knows I like to be tickled.
It’s an interesting conflict to have had because I love being ticklish, but I think I’m still protective over how vulnerable I present myself to be. I’m still working on this; hence, I’m still writing about it.
I’ll be interested to see what happens in the next session. I’m also interested in learning more about the psychology of the tickler in these sessions. My wife has a unique perspective as a non-fetishist, albeit one that is down for exploring this part of me further. As I continue to ask questions about each of our perspectives, I wonder:
-What goes through her mind as a tickler? Is the focus on my face? Or different parts? Is it a certain feel against her fingers? How does she know when she’s finding good tickle spots?
-When I tickle her, I love feeling the softness of her belly in my hands, and her concave underarms, and her delicate feet. Are there parts of me that she likes to feel in a session?
-Does she know which tickles make me laugh?
-When she was tickling me post-orgasm, could she tell that she was tickling me straight towards stifled giggles, slowly depleting my resolve, one quick squeeze away from saying “okay!”, or did she blend it in with the enjoyment of the climax? Even then, she wouldn’t have been wrong, as it was a masterful session, and one that I won’t soon forget.
-Can I trick my brain into accepting being ticklish more often in future sessions?
-Lastly, I do want to try to videotape a session. I can only view it from my own perspective, but I would love to see the movements, the fingers, the wiggles, her reactions, and what makes me ticklish.
These questions have helped me to steer towards uncovering pieces of my passion in tickling and exploring my fetish from a perspective of positive influence. To think that I’ve spent so much time trying to curb my love of this beautiful and tactile phenomenon seems hurtful at best and debilitating and worst. In truth, I think I’ve limited myself in how I’ve experienced this part of my very make up, and reflecting on that notion makes me feel sad and honestly a touch regretful.
Still, my newfound aim in having more frequent sessions has taught me to remain present through this exploration, and to continue a sense of forward progress towards a fuller acceptance of myself.
Interestingly, and thankfully enough, my wife couldn’t be more supportive of this journey. I think she knows how hard I’ve struggled to overcome my disparate feelings about my fetish, and she gets to see in real time how I’ve worked to accept this part of my life and body fully.
In keeping with the rhythm of fully investigating, I had her read my pieces on the prior experiences. This was difficult for me because I’m protective of this newly bloomed confidence. Not that I would ever doubt her discretion and openness, but I did feel some trepidation about sounding too laser-focused on a tickle fetish, and have my experiences read like incoherent ramblings. I think I could talk for days about tickling (perhaps the result of such a pent up topic in youth and early adulthood), but I always return to wondering if someone without a tickle fetish would hold an interest.
Again, thankfully enough, my wife is a total bad ass, and the absolute greatest partner one could hope for. So, she read through.
Now, there are four items of note that were sparked from my wife reading through:
1) she answered my question. Am I ticklish? Her answer was a resounding yes. She told me that even though she was more ticklish overall, my tummy was more ticklish than her tummy. There was no hesitation or doubt, or shame, or embarrassment. She said it truthfully and powerfully, and it gave me butterflies to hear it aloud. In the days after our initial conversation, I asked her to say it again, and melted with each time she did. Saying it as a confirmation, “I am ticklish”, feels like a true acceptance of self, and it’s hard to put into perspective how much that makes me enjoy being who I am.
2) I think I’m a bit more open to talking about tickling since her reading. In all honesty, it’s not as though we never discussed it prior, but I would always feel a sense of shame if I talked too much, or asked too many questions, or droned on too long, or just wanted to spend time talking about it. It feels unique, as though you are passionate about birdwatching, but nobody else you know cares about birds. I know she doesn’t have a passion for tickling, but she appreciates that it’s a part of me. So going forward, I will fully commit and not avoid any questions or reservations I have about talking about it, at least to her. I know she’s not a “bird watcher” (totally fine if actual birdwatching is your thing), and I think it must be interesting to talk “birds“ with another enthusiast, if for no other reason than to understand the commonalities of some of these feelings. That said, it’s so important to feel supported, and I’m grateful that I have a partner that knows that, because I know not everyone is lucky enough to feel the same.
3) apparently, my wife looked up some information on tickling. We had a quicker (mini) session (any and all sessions are good) in which I was tied down. I had asked her what being “ticklish“ meant in her own words. If she thought my tummy was more ticklish, but she laughed more, then how did she make the distinction? While I was blindfolded and tied to our bed, she started to lightly graze her nails around my body. While she was gently caressing the sides of my feet, she mentioned that she looked up reactions to tickling. She told me that there’s a funny response that some people have while being lightly tickled, in that they form an almost goofy smile. Not a laugh, but a “silly “smile. She then said the smile was away for the lee to indicate submissiveness to the ler, to avoid potential danger. In other words, “if I look appeased, this person won’t tickle me further“. She said it was a common defense mechanism, and that in theory, the ler would be able to read the smile and not progress further. For those that love tickling, it’s probably fairly common to know that a “silly” smile doesn’t make someone tickle you less. To further cement my ticklishness, she said that sometimes, tickling was a bit too painful (it’s actually one of the reasons that I don’t tickle her as much in full sessions), but for a lot of people, tickling is somewhere in between pain and something else (pleasure? Sensation overload? Other?). To demonstrate, she pressed her nails a little deeper into my feet, and we both agreed that it was more on the painful side. To be clear, it wasn’t an aggressive act, but a cleared demonstration to denote that one’s foot most likely reacts to sensory pain. Then she let her fingers drift so gently around the sides, tops, and soles of my feet. I didn’t laugh, but my toes twitched. As soon as they did, she asked if it hurt, and I said no. She told me that was a tickle. She continued to lightly tickle and said, “if this isn’t a tickle, then why do your toes move?” At this point, I’ve recognized that I’m ticklish, so I admitted in real time that “I’m ticklish”. Nothing exasperated, just definitive. Finally, she said “if you still don’t believe you are ticklish, then why do you have that “silly”smile?” She was right. I felt it on my face. No laughter, but I was smiling, and my toes were twitching to her touch. I was presenting with the same smile she told me about. The one that would try to “convince” her that she need not tickle further. The same smile that was my only defense to her touch. But again, we all know that a smile does not make anyone tickle you less.
4) I had mentioned to my wife that I think I’m the most ticklish when the session is patient and methodical. I’ve never been one to jump when somebody grabs my sides, but I think the most interesting tickling happens when your brain starts to say, “those fingers will move away soon, so just hold out”, and then they don’t. I think it’s my brain’s natural inclination to defy all tickles. I start by immediately backtracking on the fact that I’m ticklish. Then, I focus on the fact that tickling doesn’t make me laugh (apparently there have been a few exceptions on this front), and finally, I still find it difficult to give in fully to the tickles. I’m trying, but that’s where patient, methodical tickling comes in. In the past, I think there were times in which I was close to laughing, but the sensations went away before my defenses could “give up”. All that to say, our next session was the longest we’ve ever had.
For this session, I was tied spread eagle (if it’s not broken…) and my wife was in a fantastic gold sequined bikini. Even while tied up, I love the feeling of her bare skin on mine, because the soft texture of her skin and the firm control of her touch is exhilarating.
She tickled me for nearly an hour, all while edging throughout the session. It’s difficult to detail all that transpires in the space of an hour, but there are moments that stick out. Specifically:
-I have several tickle tools, some better than others, depending on the day. This includes a pair of very fine, thick paint brushes. The bristles are feathery soft, but the density of them create a heavier curtain that drapes across one’s skin. These are especially useful when used in contrast so that they flick alternately against the soul of a foot or the indent of an underarm.
-I found myself asking for her to tickle my armpits. We both know that my tummy is the sweet spot when it comes to tickles that make my body work, but as she was taking her time in exploring, I found that I was intrigued by the level of ticklishness in my armpits. I like the vulnerability that comes with any tickle spot, as they are usually places that aren’t regularly touched or explored, particularly in duration. I think this is also an example of patience through tickling. A quick flicker of fingers in my armpits is likely not going to cause much of a reaction, but the focus of a longer session to really tickle test certain spots and thoroughly exhaust a tickle area is sublime.
-it’s very difficult to replicate the sensation of tickling for me without edging. I don’t consider myself super ticklish, except when I feel additional sexual stimulation. Then, my tummy turns into a hot zone of wiggling, writhing, and little, tiny sit-ups, depending on how it’s touched. There were a couple of times in the session that I knew I wasn’t going to last, so I asked my wife to switch to just tickling. It doesn’t quite have the same heightened effect, but this could also be a patient process. I love being tickled in general, so the longer it all lasts, the more fun it all, becomes for me.
-I didn’t laugh in this session. I’m interested to see which tickles or which spots produce a laugh again. There’s nothing wrong in exploiting a good spot.
-I’m always keen to explore more of what makes me ticklish. Knowing that my armpits were feeling perhaps more sensitive than usual, I did wonder what baby oil might add to the sensation. Since I’ve started writing about my sessions, the use of baby oil on my tummy has been a bit of a revelation. I do think it would be interesting to feel what this does for prolonged tickling on my underarms, nipples, and feet.
-In typical fashion, our session ended when I came. Or so I thought. Usually, that’s how the session ends, and I get to bask in the afterglow of climax, tactile stimulation, adoration, and comfort. Except this time was slightly different. My tummy was still covered in oil, and my wife continued with some slow, gentle squeezes. I was still moaning from climaxing, so she was letting me ride out that wave, but then I noticed a different kind of smile run across my face. When she continued to provide little squeezing tickles, I kept getting close to laughing. In the moment, I thought that maybe it was because I was shy. This was a long session, so she had already given me so much love and attention, so I thought maybe I was a bit embarrassed that she was still so focused on me. I even said a couple of times “you’re still going?”. The thing is, I said it through a stifled laugh. Then I thought, “this might be really ticklish”. So much so, that I may have been masking my laughter through “being shy”. I honestly felt that in the moment, my brain went right back to being in the mode of “hang on, do we want to show that we are this ticklish?”. Because it felt like suddenly, I was smiling and giggling when I didn’t mean to. If I had forced myself to accept the idea that “this really tickles”, I think I might’ve been in a very vulnerable position (naked, post-orgasm), and at the whim of someone that knows I like to be tickled.
It’s an interesting conflict to have had because I love being ticklish, but I think I’m still protective over how vulnerable I present myself to be. I’m still working on this; hence, I’m still writing about it.
I’ll be interested to see what happens in the next session. I’m also interested in learning more about the psychology of the tickler in these sessions. My wife has a unique perspective as a non-fetishist, albeit one that is down for exploring this part of me further. As I continue to ask questions about each of our perspectives, I wonder:
-What goes through her mind as a tickler? Is the focus on my face? Or different parts? Is it a certain feel against her fingers? How does she know when she’s finding good tickle spots?
-When I tickle her, I love feeling the softness of her belly in my hands, and her concave underarms, and her delicate feet. Are there parts of me that she likes to feel in a session?
-Does she know which tickles make me laugh?
-When she was tickling me post-orgasm, could she tell that she was tickling me straight towards stifled giggles, slowly depleting my resolve, one quick squeeze away from saying “okay!”, or did she blend it in with the enjoyment of the climax? Even then, she wouldn’t have been wrong, as it was a masterful session, and one that I won’t soon forget.
-Can I trick my brain into accepting being ticklish more often in future sessions?
-Lastly, I do want to try to videotape a session. I can only view it from my own perspective, but I would love to see the movements, the fingers, the wiggles, her reactions, and what makes me ticklish.
