am i weird or are the others out there like me?

[isabeau]

i am married and if i would ask him to tie me and tickle me he would , however his heart wouldnt be into it and to tell you the truth neither would i.
these are the reason.
a) he thinks bondage is sick
b) he doesnt understand my need for tickling
c) and last but not least i do not want to give up that kind of control to him.

now am i weird or are there others out there like me? i fantasize about someone else tying and tickling me, but never my husband. am i wrong for not wanting to let him control me in this way? i like the Dom/sub lifestyle i recently discovered, but cannot possibly see my husband in that role.

i would appreciate any feedback to this dilemma and before anyone says why did you marry him i only recently have had the craving of being tied and tickled, although it has been a fantasy of mine for years. thanks and not sure if this was the right place to ask this question, but since it involves tickling i chose it

isabeau

 

[Mimi]

This is indeed the proper forum for this topic. 🙂

You're definitely NOT alone. There are scores of forum members in the same exact position you are. I myself was in a marriage for 11 years with a man who, although willing to oblige me in my tickling fetish, was never into 100% himself, and I was aware of that every time we played. I had to ASK for it. It had to be PLANNED. It was never spontaneous, and I always had the underlying impression his primary goal in providing the play I sought was merely the sex that he knew would follow. And that sort of just ruined the whole thing for me.

Once I attended my first gathering, and got to be tied up and tickled by real fellow tickle fans, I realized immediately what I had been missing. Even without any intimate ties to these folks, the overwhelming experience of being tickled by hands that enjoy tickling as much as you do was phenomenal. Words can not describe how truly amazing it is. And so FUN!

I was so depressed when I went back home, knowing it was going to be some while before I would experience that bond with someone again. Adding to my misery was the fact that tickling alone was not the only problem in my marriage - we had many other issues preventing us from sharing the intimacy I desired even aside from the tickling.

Fortunately for me, Mr. Destined-To-Be-Your-Eternally-Sought-Prince-Charming (Lazarus here on the TMF) was waiting right around the corner for me in Josie's "ticklingnews" yahoo group. Residing just 3 hours from me, he decided that our close location, exact same age, same interests in tickling, and dual failed marriages was far too much to be coincidence, and he began an email correspondance with me. At first I resisted, given the fact I was still clinging to what scraps remained of my marriage, but he refused to take no for an answer, and eventually won me over with his charms.

We've been engaged for 2 years now, and every day of my life is an honest to god party....a constant celebration of being alive and finding that piece that was missing for so many years. We play, cuddle, tickle, and love every single day of our lives, and I can never imagine going back to a relationship where tickling is non-existent. Thank god it's not anything I'll ever have to consider.

Forgive me...I'm probably making the wrong point here. I don't mean to insinuate you should get out of your marriage or even make it an issue. There are MANY folks here on the forum who are completely happy within their marriages aside from the lack of tickling, and would not trade them even for a relationship chock full of it. They rely on the understanding they share with so many others here at the forum, and get their fill of content through what is offered here. You may find that is the solution for you, too.

Or you may find you need to get your cute lil butt to a gathering and find out for yourself what fun can be had in being bound and tickled senseless by a bunch of fanatical, fun-loving, silly as you can imagine, sadistic ticklephiles. 😀

I think I see them lining up now.....

Mimi 😉

 

[TicklesFemales]

Hi Melanie

We have talked before via e-mail and I don't think its weird at all. Your husband just is not into this and its okay. There are a lot of guys that don't like bondage and tickling. I myself love to tie up and tickle a ticklish lady such as you. I am even willing to do it in front of your husband while he watches so he knows there is nothing else but tickling going on between us. I just love to tickle, he does not apparently. If you really want to be tied and tickled he should respect your wants too and let someone like me tickle you.
Anyway your not weird, no one with a tickling fetish is weird. People are into different things ours is just tickling or being tickled. I for one am strictly a tickler not a ticklee myself. But I am so glad there are female ticklee such as yourself in our community. Have a great day.

TicklesFemales

 

[isabeau]

first of all thank you Mimi, Cabanaboy and lticklesfemales for responding.
mimi you are quite fortunate to have found a dream come true. i know what you mean its not just the tickling there are other aspects in the marriage as well. although im not sure yet if its enough to leave him after all i do love him and owe him everything. i'll just wait and see what happens. and i also suggested he come along for a gathering, he replied its time for church. sighs. he is very narrowminded about these sort of things

cabana boy we have been married a very long time. i know him very well, and although i thank you for your suggestions. i do not think it will work. however i might try. i did get him to tickle my upper body a few weeks back with me lying on my back with my arms over my head, his heart waasnt really in it and besides other things sort of came up, if you know what i mean

ticklesfemales thanks again for the offer. i will think about it.

isabeau

 

[unclebill]

This is a very ticklish topic (no pun intended.) Melanie, I understand where you are coming from in trying to meet your tickling desires. My ex hated to be tickled, and it no doubt caused problems in our marriage. But I would advise you to be extremely careful if you are planning to do tickling sessions behind your husbands back. You can try to justify the excuse any way you wish, but if caught you most likely will get a date in divorce court. In whatever move you make I would think about the consequences. Just my 2 cents.

 

[isabeau]

This is a very ticklish topic (no pun intended.) Melanie, I understand where you are coming from in trying to meet your tickling desires. My ex hated to be tickled, and it no doubt caused problems in our marriage. But I would advise you to be extremely careful if you are planning to do tickling sessions behind your husbands back. You can try to justify the excuse any way you wish, but if caught you most likely will get a date in divorce court. In whatever move you make I would think about the consequences. Just my 2 cents.

thank you i realize that as well. i honestly am not sure what i'm going to do about it and yes i would hate to do anything behind his back. i have always been very honest and open with him. and i never try to justify any of my desires. thank you once again for your imput

isabeau

 

[mark 19]

I agree with CabanaBoy. From what you’ve said I think its definitely a bad Idea to get other people tickling you even if he knows about it. And although Mimi is now happy I wouldn’t recommend sacrifice your marriage just over a fetish if your still in love. I would say that if you haven’t done so already you should just talk to him about it say how you feel, talk about it being more spontaneous and see what he says, the worst he can do is say he’s not really into it and doesn’t think hes going to be. After all he may just not really understand the fetish.

Also I don’t know if there’s anything your husband is in to but I think CabanaBoy is right when he suggests indulging his fantasies at the same time it could help him get in to it.

Worst come to worse you’ve always got this forum. 🙂

 

[unit5610]

My guess is that more people than you might think are in "mismatches" when it comes to tickling. My wife indulges by tickling me and gets into it to a certan extent because she knows how much I enjoy it, but otherwise would have little or no interest in this and is not ticklish herself. Her effort to engage with me to the extent that she can is genuine and I really appreciate it, but I must admit that it would be truly exhilerating to spend time with a woman who was really into tickling. That being said I 'm not about to risk my marriage and my whole way of life at this point pursuing it. For now I'm content with my vivid imagination and this great forum with all of you terrific people. Thanks to everyone here...

 

[LoveSoles81]

My girlfriend hates being tickled, but she likes to please me. I feel that you should work to please your mate sexually. 🙂

 

[lk70]

I feel that you should work to please your mate sexually. 🙂

But maybe it would be nicer not to have to "work" at it, if you have the choice?

 

[toneus79]

As a male lee I also understand where you are coming from. For me allowing myself to be tickle tortured implies a high degree of submissiveness on my part, in order to make it work. Yet I could never see how I could switch from being this submissive in a normal relationship, to out of the bedroom (or wherever) going back to my standard self. Thus I have never felt comfortable being tickled by girlfriends in the past, and have always stopped it. All my experiences have been outside of that format.

 

[isabeau]

thanks for all the replies to my thread. i realize i am not alone in this. and i must say all of you have been a help. i will try and follow the advice given to me . i'm very glad to have found this forum.

isabeau

 

[Iggy pop]

Honestly, only you can make this decision. I do have a couple of questions. First, how strong are these feelings? From what I've read, they certainly sound sexual in nature. Does your husband know you are here? Does he know that you are exchanging emails with other men? If not, then you have already started making some first steps, and maybe this realtionship was not meant to be.

I certainly would not go outside your marriage to satisfy your sexual desires. Sometimes people rationalize this by saying "it's just tickling", but if tickling is very sexual for you then I would says it is the same as cheating. If you were into anal sex and your husband was not, would you go somewhere else for anal sex?

I would say if you truly love your husband and if he truly loves you then you can find a comprimise. If not then maybe you need to think about a divorce. I agree you should not toss a realtionship away if you truly love somebody, but you should not stay in a dead end relationship eithier.

 

[isabeau]

Honestly, only you can make this decision. I do have a couple of questions. First, how strong are these feelings? From what I've read, they certainly sound sexual in nature. Does your husband know you are here? Does he know that you are exchanging emails with other men? If not, then you have already started making some first steps, and maybe this realtionship was not meant to be.

I certainly would not go outside your marriage to satisfy your sexual desires. Sometimes people rationalize this by saying "it's just tickling", but if tickling is very sexual for you then I would says it is the same as cheating. If you were into anal sex and your husband was not, would you go somewhere else for anal sex?

I would say if you truly love your husband and if he truly loves you then you can find a comprimise. If not then maybe you need to think about a divorce. I agree you should not toss a realtionship away if you truly love somebody, but you should not stay in a dead end relationship eithier.

ok to answer your first question, lately it has been somewhat stronger and yes its a sexual feeling besides. secondly yes my husband does know i come here. however how do you know that i exchange emails with other men? i never said that in my thread. but thanks for the response, and believe me i am not into anal sex. i appreciate your advice.

isabeau

 

[tickleshotel]

Isabeau, darlin this definitely is the right place to share whatever your experiencing in your life..
I am recently divorced after 4 years to a NOn tickler that didn;t have his heart into tickling me or even being tickled himself by me and there were other aspects of our relationship that only left us to realize our own individuality..Looking back,I remember without a doubt early on while dating that I shared with him my love,passion for tickling,being tickled and at that point I recall he found it somewhat appealing making me unique and special and well I don;t want to ramble on telling my life story or talking about the past which is behind me now . The one thing I can say is that despite my divorce which I am happy and I am moving on in my life ,that my ex was a great guy and I remain good friends with him .
I know for myself that having been in a relationship with someone that didn;t share,enjoy or love tickling to the same degree or more as me,that while I do know there is more to a relationship,marriage than tickling,being playful and having fun that I believe for myself personally that I will be dating or alone if need be rather than be with someone that doesn;t love tickling,being tickled or both as tickling is too much of a need,want,passion for me to *not* have in my life on a fairly regular basis .

 

[marcusb]

No, you're not weird at all. One of my pals has no problem with me restraining her and tickling her silly but she's told me multiple times she would not trust her BF to tie her up. He's not into tickling her at all and the few times he's indulged her she didn't enjoy it.

 

[dtrell]

insofar as you are just like one of us, you are perfectly normal.

 

[Ayla ny]

my situation was a lot like yours. I had the ‘tickling epiphany’ 8 or 9 years into my marriage. I was SO excited! I showed my husband all of the things that I had found, fully expecting him to be as thrilled and fascinated as I was. what I got was a strange look (like I had just messed myself or something) and, “tickling?... are you serious?”

I was crushed. needless to say, when he later tried to indulge me… it made me feel literally sick to my stomach.

I ended up trying to satisfy this craving by reading and writing stories for the next few years. it wasn’t enough. I wanted to experience what had become my obsession. I even thought that I might get it out of my system if I did (as if! lol) so I resolved to go to NEST. by this time my marriage was pretty much over. he hadn’t moved out yet but we both knew he was going to.

well, to make a long story a little bit shorter, my ex didn’t like the idea of his soon-to-be-ex-wife attending a “tickle orgy” (his words) and decided to go to my sister with how ‘concerned’ he was about what I wanted to do. I backed down (like I had been doing my entire marriage) and didn’t go.

but two weeks after he moved out… I was seeing if a weekend of being tickled might get it out of my system 😀 and, thank God, it only made it worse lol. then, the next time that NEST rolled around (with no husband to stop me) I was there with bells on! and that’s where I met my Dan 🙂

anyhow, the point in my little life story here is that you are most definitely not alone in what you are going through. Mimi’s and my story, while each individual to our own lives, were very much like your own. and they both ended very happily 🙂 I’ll be hoping that, which ever way it goes, yours has a happy ending too.

 

[isabeau]

Isabeau, darlin this definitely is the right place to share whatever your experiencing in your life..
I am recently divorced after 4 years to a NOn tickler that didn;t have his heart into tickling me or even being tickled himself by me and there were other aspects of our relationship that only left us to realize our own individuality..Looking back,I remember without a doubt early on while dating that I shared with him my love,passion for tickling,being tickled and at that point I recall he found it somewhat appealing making me unique and special and well I don;t want to ramble on telling my life story or talking about the past which is behind me now . The one thing I can say is that despite my divorce which I am happy and I am moving on in my life ,that my ex was a great guy and I remain good friends with him .
I know for myself that having been in a relationship with someone that didn;t share,enjoy or love tickling to the same degree or more as me,that while I do know there is more to a relationship,marriage than tickling,being playful and having fun that I believe for myself personally that I will be dating or alone if need be rather than be with someone that doesn;t love tickling,being tickled or both as tickling is too much of a need,want,passion for me to *not* have in my life on a fairly regular basis .

sorry about your divorce tickleshotel darlin. but glad to see your life is taking hold again. thanks for your response. i'm not sure where i'm headed at this point, but i do know my passion for being tickled has increased dramatically over the last months. a gathering would be the best thing. but getting there would prove difficult. thanks again hon

isabeau

 

[isabeau]

my situation was a lot like yours. I had the ‘tickling epiphany’ 8 or 9 years into my marriage. I was SO excited! I showed my husband all of the things that I had found, fully expecting him to be as thrilled and fascinated as I was. what I got was a strange look (like I had just messed myself or something) and, “tickling?... are you serious?”

I was crushed. needless to say, when he later tried to indulge me… it made me feel literally sick to my stomach.

I ended up trying to satisfy this craving by reading and writing stories for the next few years. it wasn’t enough. I wanted to experience what had become my obsession. I even thought that I might get it out of my system if I did (as if! lol) so I resolved to go to NEST. by this time my marriage was pretty much over. he hadn’t moved out yet but we both knew he was going to.

well, to make a long story a little bit shorter, my ex didn’t like the idea of his soon-to-be-ex-wife attending a “tickle orgy” (his words) and decided to go to my sister with how ‘concerned’ he was about what I wanted to do. I backed down (like I had been doing my entire marriage) and didn’t go.

but two weeks after he moved out… I was seeing if a weekend of being tickled might get it out of my system 😀 and, thank God, it only made it worse lol. then, the next time that NEST rolled around (with no husband to stop me) I was there with bells on! and that’s where I met my Dan 🙂

anyhow, the point in my little life story here is that you are most definitely not alone in what you are going through. Mimi’s and my story, while each individual to our own lives, were very much like your own. and they both ended very happily 🙂 I’ll be hoping that, which ever way it goes, yours has a happy ending too.

thanks for that response. its funny when i read it, its like i'm reading my own life. i now read stories and indulge myself that way. and without saying too much i have met someone in here that i connect with in a very personal way. so who knows? butttt i will take things very slow, since i do love my husband, i hope its ok to be so honest in an open forum.

isabeau

also a gathering is out of the question at this time . rats.

 

[Ray<3tiklishft]

I'm not a marriage counseler, but I believe marriage is a two way street (Sorry for the old cliche). IMHO, there has to be some compromise on his part, although I don't know how he really feels.

Mr. Beau, Tickle the Lady!!!!

P.S. I only wish that you knew what I looked like so you can imagine me tickling you. Sorry, I don't mean to make light of the subject....

And you are NOT wierd!

Good Luck no matter what happens.

 

[isabeau]

hon what do looks have to do with anything? silly lol and thanks for the advice however mr beau will not do it. his heart aint in it.

isabeau and thanks for the offer also

 

[qjakal]

insofar as you are just like one of us, you are perfectly normal.

Yup..we're wired this way. I've been married for nearly 30 years to a non tickler and I struggle tremendously with it at times, but a long term marriage is made up of so many components...shared memories throughout your adult existence that no one else has...financial concerns, children, sheer inertia, commitment on so many levels that it's difficult to extricate and isolate this area successfully.

I wish you more success at resolving it than I've had, Ms. isabeau{E}.

Q

 

[isabeau]

Yup..we're wired this way. I've been married for nearly 30 years to a non tickler and I struggle tremendously with it at times, but a long term marriage is made up of so many components...shared memories throughout your adult existence that no one else has...financial concerns, children, sheer inertia, commitment on so many levels that it's difficult to extricate and isolate this area successfully.

I wish you more success at resolving it than I've had, Ms. isabeau{E}.

Q

thank you qjakal you never mentioned how do you fulfill your fetish so to speak? and of course marriage is made up of many components. its just that ive been thru much this past year, and require some sort of change. thank you for your advice.

isabeau