First of all thank you all so much for your kind and understanding responses, I wasn't expecting them I know it's a horrendous subject to have to broach. I was really nervous bringing it here but I'm glad I have. Also thanks for the honest and the varied responses. I think now I've voiced it I feel so much better.
Update on the situation:
I nearly forgot about this thread because after posting this, despite saying I was going to get my head sorted out I suppose it'd reached critical mass by that night because while we were out on our walk I literally just brought it up and just straight out asked.
He was (understandably) surprised and said he'd never thought about it before and that he didn't know. He said (relating it to other plutonic situations) he felt a bit weird when my family members would tickle me and if other friends were to touch me like that (not in a jealous way but in a 'I feel kinda weird about this' way). But he also said that if he sees other people playfighting and tickling out and about it's a different sort of 'mood' and it is the same thing with kids/watching people tickle their kids. That said, he said he wouldn't want to tickle our children and he probably would feel weird but it isn't something that has crossed his mind. That in itself is relieving. Although I feel bad to have brought it up in a way, to have changed that.
I just want to reiterate that it has never been an issue of trust, he's literally the most amazing guy ever. Since he's been open about his kink years ago things have never been better. I know how intrinsically fused a fetish is to a person, how it can't be wished away or controlled, it is something you're likely to be with for life, and as far as fetishes go this is a pretty decent one to find yourself stuck with. I suppose that's why I was a bit scared to upset him with anything like this, even though I needn't have worried). On a side-note he actually told his therapist (for unrelated issues) about his kink and her reaction was a nicer iteration of 'yeah, and?'. I am aware that this is definitely my issue here, I'm very good at over analysing and over thinking things, once something bad is in my head it's on a loop until it's dealt with.
Lots of waffle here haha. But thank you all so much, you could have reacted in (understandable) outrage, but yeah. It's really nice to actually have other people into the same thing weigh in on this. Thank you.
Update on the situation:
I nearly forgot about this thread because after posting this, despite saying I was going to get my head sorted out I suppose it'd reached critical mass by that night because while we were out on our walk I literally just brought it up and just straight out asked.
He was (understandably) surprised and said he'd never thought about it before and that he didn't know. He said (relating it to other plutonic situations) he felt a bit weird when my family members would tickle me and if other friends were to touch me like that (not in a jealous way but in a 'I feel kinda weird about this' way). But he also said that if he sees other people playfighting and tickling out and about it's a different sort of 'mood' and it is the same thing with kids/watching people tickle their kids. That said, he said he wouldn't want to tickle our children and he probably would feel weird but it isn't something that has crossed his mind. That in itself is relieving. Although I feel bad to have brought it up in a way, to have changed that.
I just want to reiterate that it has never been an issue of trust, he's literally the most amazing guy ever. Since he's been open about his kink years ago things have never been better. I know how intrinsically fused a fetish is to a person, how it can't be wished away or controlled, it is something you're likely to be with for life, and as far as fetishes go this is a pretty decent one to find yourself stuck with. I suppose that's why I was a bit scared to upset him with anything like this, even though I needn't have worried). On a side-note he actually told his therapist (for unrelated issues) about his kink and her reaction was a nicer iteration of 'yeah, and?'. I am aware that this is definitely my issue here, I'm very good at over analysing and over thinking things, once something bad is in my head it's on a loop until it's dealt with.
Lots of waffle here haha. But thank you all so much, you could have reacted in (understandable) outrage, but yeah. It's really nice to actually have other people into the same thing weigh in on this. Thank you.
