Are Personal Ads Safe???

[crydun]

some recent discussion has surfaced about personals. If someone replies to personals, are they sending the right or wrong message. Can the person in the ad really be trusted. Do people look at tickle-meets the same as one night stands? Just pondering....

 

[Phineas]

some people have difficulty meeting folks through" normal" channels. if the male half of your social circle is dating the female half, there's no one left for you. terror over sexual harassment makes workplace dating a no-no very often, a lot of people don't like bars or clubs, and sometimes your hobbies don't bring you in contact with the kinds of people you'd like to meet.

hence, personals.

I met my wife through Yahoo! Personals before it became a pay service. nothing wrong with it, says I. no different than a blind date, 'cept it's the Internet fixing you up instead of your well-meaning (but clueless) best friend.

 

[pghtickleguy]

I myself look at tickle meets as just that. A true meeting to share your same interests for tickling. Myself personally if I wanted a hookup why go to all the trouble. Our newspaper here has all the hookup info you'll need.

 

[the_Baron]

well, i'm guilty of placing these ads. and deep down i don't actually do trust folks i don't yet know. but of course, i know myself, and that i can be trusted. but thats a one way logic clause.

frustrated tickling folks are compelled to post. but ultimately, i prefer intimacy with someone i already know, and with whom the tickling is an added bonus.

but you know this already!

 

[crydun]

smiles broadly* yes love, I know. You are a rare exception to the norm of guys that are available on-line. You have a big heart, noble causes and most importantly, you care about the person, not just the kink. My hat is off to you. YOU ROCK!!! 😉

 

[natural tickler]

I think you can trust SOME personal ads, but like anything else, you can always explore the situation and not fully commit to it until you're satified. Not al people are doing it for evil purposes

 

[MrTicklefeet]

Personalls are not so different than meeting someone at a coffeeshop, or through friends, you still have to let the instincts and other factors do thier things with meeting anyone new in your life. As far as the tickling goes, knowing someone an establising a friendship first makes for a stronger connection. My only frustration has been the women I've been intamate with wern't into tickling, yet I've also had tickling friends I've never gotten intimate with.
Right now, the tickling part of me is calling louder than the intimate part. A tickle partner would be great, so long as it's a level playng feild.
There was one woman who use to hang out in front of a coffee house, she'd say Hi a couple of times as I walked past. One day she was sitting down, and started flirting with her feet when she saw me coming. I sat down, and we introduced ourselves.
Within the first half hour, she told me she was unemployable, had a lot of anger issues, and had a tendency to launch in to rages on people. That old Groucho Marx song, "Hello, I must be going" ran throgh my mind.
She still says Hi when we past, but I keep on walking. The personalls, like anything else in life, you gotta use your head.

 

[AphxA]

ha! half the woman here can kick my arse.

 

[natural tickler]

Because they have big feet, AphxA, or the powerful kick?

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I put an ad in the paper, my wife answered.
If you do it right, Crydun, it could turn out to be just what the doctor ordered.

 

[Haqim]

I have yet to use personals but it is something I am considering. I agree with MrTicklefeet as long as your careful it should work out ok. I know their has been concerns with Internet personal ads but you will find that the bad cases get published while all the success or non-bad stuff goes on unnoticed. As far as I know it is safe as long as yourself is careful and with a more close net community as ourselves we hopefully avoid the psychos out their.

 

[AphxA]

hell man, who needs security at a gathering. Mess with mimi, and your begging for the pain to begin.

As for the personal ads. I dont know. I might use em one day. but i understand the fear of it. You cant trust everyone out there. But not everyone is using them for bad. Some people would honestly like to meet people.

 

[natural tickler]

I just think that if it's done right, there should be no fear factor. Of course, some are too good to be true, but do your homework before answering

 

[terorizer]

If someone replies to personals, are they sending the right or wrong message. Can the person in the ad really be trusted.

I'm not sure if you mean personals in general or the specific "tickling" personals, but to my way of thinking, basically, personals are just another form of communication or introduction. Replying simply indicates some form of interest, whether great or small. We sometimes misjudge how people we know well will take certain gestures, so it's near impossible to know how a stranger interperet such intentions. As far as "the person in the ad" being trustworthy, they are just that, a person. Time is your friend, it reveals lots of things. The first person from the net wasn't via a personal and it wasn't even a romantic endeavor, but I still had lots of reservations, because they were "from the net", until I realized "hey, I'm trustworthy and decent, and I'm on the net, why should I assume there wouldn't be other trustworthy and decent people?" You can only know for sure what's in your own heart and only you can determine how valuable your trust is.

Do people look at tickle-meets the same as one night stands? Just pondering....

I'm guessing you mean arranged meetings specifically for tickle play, as versus an meeting of folks who share an interest in tickling, but don't engage in any. Of course it depends upon the personnel and the intentions, but from my standpoint, I view the former no differently than I would people who REALLY loved softball or guitar playing getting together for a game or jam session.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

There's nothing wrong with personal ads if you're so inclined to try them. The fear of "everyone who posts a personal is a creep" is just not true.

There's lots of nice people who post personal ads. If you ever answer one, you get can to know the person for as long as you want, then make a decision from there. Is it equivalent to a one night stand? No, because you're not having sex.

If two ticklephiles want to meet for the sole purpose of tickling, i don't see anything wrong with that. Ticklephiles don't grow on trees. If you choose not to answer a personal ad, that's fine too.

I think the majority of people who post personal ads are just frustrated ticklephiles, who can't share their desire for tickling with anyone so they're reaching out. Living in a world of "don't do that" get old.

But, yes, they're safe and there're lots of decent people who post and answer them. Like Terro said, you're decent and you're here, right?

 

[tman1865]

The Wild Wild West

Wild Wild West

I haven’t used personals yet, but I wouldn’t let fear keep me or anyone else from using them though.

Most things new are scary; they’re a risk. The first day at school or work, a blind date, a first date. Just as many things could go wrong at anyone of these as on a first date from a personal’s add.

Hell, I remember when I went to a Munch for the first time. I was a little nervous of “you internet people,” yet these that I was afraid were going to be out of Wes Craven film, to you are “friends and family.” (And I must admit, the people that I met were some nice people.)

We can also both learn from my old pimp, Kat. She moved to a big city and was all alone, and somehow setup a blind date with some local boy on AOL. She called me all nervous, and gave me all this info “just in case,” and setup rendevous calls and all.

She ended up having a GREAT time and what she called for years, the BEST KISS EVER. However, SHE was evidently the scary one, cause he never talked to her again. SO you see, WE are just as freaky to the people on the other end of the personals and they have just as many questions about us. (I still get a kick out of that reversal.😛)

So try it. I’m amazed they work; I always thought they were just the literary version of prank calls, but the testimonials on this forum have me thinking. For me right now, I’m gonna try internet dating, the safety of a picture, and the head start of a bio, appeals to me more.

In either case, I’d advise taking it slow and public.

Well, enjoy, and let us all know how it goes. I’m dying to hear some more stories about it, and I’ll do the same.

And remember, if no-one ever risked the unknown, all us people here in the West would be stuck living with you all you people back there in the EAST, YUCK. (Thank you Lewis and Clark.)

T

 

[P50]

If you are a man, then I personally promise you that, if you place a personal ad in the appropriate TMF forum, nothing bad will ever happen to you as a direct result of doing so.

(This is because nothing will ever happen period.)

 

[tman1865]

LMAO

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Personal ads are perfectly fine and can/do work out for many. But, you have to use your head. (The BIG one, guys.) If you place something sincere, you can probably expect a response. If what you place sounds pushy, demanding, demeaning or desperate, I doubt you'd hear anything. I personally wouldn't even bother to finish reading it. That's the problem with a lot of them. Of course, some folks like that. So... 😉

Seriously, AFA the safety issue, it's a very serious one. There are some great people out there...guys and gals. But, there are also some dangerous ones. The truly dangerous ones often present themselves as real gentlemen/ladies while they're anything but. So, it's often hard to discern. I personally would NEVER meet someone until you have time to chat with them enough online/whereever to get a feel for what they may be like. If there's any doubt, I'd insist on the initial meeting being with a friend along...or at the very least with a friend expecting a call at a certain time as a safety net. (Actually, I'd do this even if I didn't have doubts.)

I also wouldn't invite them to your home until you'd met a couple of times...though I actually did that myself with Drew. Until you're comfortable and feel them to be safe, you probably don't want them knowing where you live. (Remember, if your phone # is listed and they know it, it's easy for them to grab your address off the internet.) If the person can't accept the need for safety, you probably don't want to be with them anyway.

Here's an article we did at the Tickle Scene site on safety when meeting someone specificly into our kink. But, it can apply to any first meeting type event...

BE SAFE!

Perhaps the most important thing to consider when looking at the idea of play is your own personal safety and that of the person/people you're playing with. While the articles section covers some more specific issues in this area, the basics can never be repeated enough. So, this page will look at some very basic guidelines to follow when planning real life play. These apply to men as well as women since predators know no gender boundaries. Please don't be scared off by talk of safeguards. Rather, follow them and feel more secure when you do meet with a new person or group. These are good for anyone meeting someone for the first time...tickle-related or not.

1. Don't be so rushed for real time play that you meet someone you've only spoken with once or twice. Take time to get to know them a bit online and on the phone before you consider meeting in person. Some things to consider discussing are..

- Whether this is sexual or simply fun play.
- What kinds of touch, tools, etc. have been used in previous play with others.
- What the actual and/or desired responses are expected.

2. Ask others about the person/people wherever possible. Be sure that, if there's something negative that would keep you from meeting this person, you do all you can to find out about it.

3. Once you agree to meet with someone for the first time, consider doing so in a public place (a restaurant is generally a good option) for conversation only.

4. Let someone know of your meeting details and arrange a time at which you'll be checking in with them, along with a code word to throw into the conversation if there's a problem.

5. Be sure to not mix alcohol and/or drugs with a first encounter, since this can cloud discernment and cause you to open yourself to something you may not really want. Limiting your consumption is advisable for the same reasons even once you know them a bit.

6. Be sure to discuss expectations, boundaries and make clear what you are and are not willing to do before you meet. This takes the pressure off when you do see one another. If there's any hesitation on the part of the other person/people to honor that in conversation, they aren't likely to do so once you're together. So, you may want to reconsider connecting.

7. If play is to be involved and #6 has been taken care of, consider doing this in a hotel or similar setting. This is for two reasons...

- If there's a problem, you may not want the person to know where you live.
- If you need to yell for help, others are more likely to be around to hear you.

Remember, these are the very basics. We encourage you to take time to read through the articles in this site in order to better understand some of the ins and outs of play within the natural tickling scene. They will help you to better understand and be comfortable with some of the aspects of play that you may encounter now or down the road. They may also help you to make more informed decisions on what you do or don't want to incorporate into your own personal play.

Ann

 

[BigBrownEyes]

I'm guessing that the starter of this thread has already made up her mind. Hey, if you have reservations about personal ads, then don't play around with them. Quite frankly, you'd be doing yourself, and some well-meaning guy a favor.

 

[the_Baron]

oh BBE -

if you knew the starter of this thread, you wouldn't need to guess. it was a well intentioned question by a person seeking opinions.

why the in-you-face attitude? - rhetoric in nature, no response needed.

 

[crydun]

thank you Baron. I appreciate that a lot. *nuzzles your neck in appreciation* TM

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I'm guessing that the starter of this thread has already made up her mind.

This is a topic that I think is good to discuss on occassion just to act as a reminder that people need to use their brain when looking at things like this...or at anything for that matter. Everyone has their own preferences and will act accordingly. But, the sharing of opinions is encouraged to help the less experienced learn and grow.

Ann

 

[ReDsTaR]

Thats why i personally dont Reply to Personal Ads i look at them sure. Whenever im in that part of that section on this website. But i never reply because you just dont know if they person is who he/or she says claims to be. Because its just too very risky flying aways or with even car distance to go meet that Ticklee or Tickler that wants to have some fun for the night or Day. whatever the case my be. Thats why i just for now tend to only have Instant messenger pals chatroom pals email pals etc... that are into Tickling or even the ones that are'nt into tickling.

but thats just my view on this topic

hope it helps some people out😛

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Wise advice...
You meet the person in a public place: a pizzeria, McDonalds, a coffee house. The mall. With other people around. You can sit and have a soda or something and talk and get to know each other. There's no rule stating that you have to get together right then and find a room (no matter how tickleinsane you might be). You can get together any number of times, in public places, going to a movie, shopping at a music store, whatever. The key is getting to know each other. Good weeding out process! If the person is a jerk, you can cut it off right there at the knees. It's safe...and it is good common sense!
And, you'll know right away if the person is who he or she says. You'll weed out the phonies right away.
I'm speaking as one who's been successful with this method more than once. If I can do it, so can you...