Welcome
@SleepyBunny 🙂
You may be the 8th confirmed Asexual on this site.
I found that many (probably the majority of) Asexual ppl are autistic, including me.
We can choose to gather in the following thread:
Greetings everyone I am new to the forums and I would like to introduce myself I am a 25 year old single gay man from Sweden on the autism spectrum and I also have ADHD and I was diagnosed as a child with what used to be called aspergers syndrome.
I really like feet and tickle fetish content especially furry/anthropomorphic tickle fetish content as I always have tons of tabs open on my phones browser with furaffinity links that I can masturbate to such as this one
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/64766240
I am not turned on by watching videos of gay sex and I tried to do it...
@Silverflame3 Would you like to share more details of your story?
Hey there! I'm not asexual (at least not anymore), but an Asperger.
When I was younger, I had a pretty tough time connecting with folks. I was highly intelligent and empathic, but completely lacking in social skills and reading social cues on others. I didn't get an official diagnosis (even though the medical papers confirmed pretty much 100% asperger's), because the doctor in question didn't want to label me and make me a "problematic" case (that was thirty years ago, at which time if you were labeled as autistic that was pretty much a retard stigma from where I was). Her reasoning was that I would grow out of it, but the official diagnosis, once given, would label me as less than nornal for the rest of my life. In a way she was and wasn't right.
I finally managed to get my hands on and read the papers when I was 27 or so. I became pretty pissed because all my life I knew I was different and that something was wrong with me, even though everyone around me gaslit me and just told me I was making stuff up to draw attention and that I was lying and acting up. That paper finally confirmed what I felt all along, and no one could take that truth awayfrom me anymore.
While most folks wanted to be special and different as kids, I just wanted to be normal. There are two ways I've come to learn I'm not "normal". First, I'm incapable of forming a group identity. I don't connect with any subculture, minority, or other group of people. I can relate to people directly, one in one, just not a group identity. That always made me feel lonely and not belonging.
The second issue was sometimes a benefit, although it also brought its own fair share of problems. For some reason I am incapable of surface level, fake small talk and interactions. I am always literal and can see through social masks and lies, read people directly and clearly, but I am incapable of interacting with this layer of human consciousness because I probably lack the social module for surface level, small talk most normal brains have built in by default. Since I am highly socially aware and intelligent, I can mimic and reverse engineer social cues and behaviors. It's a big problem once you realize most people work with this module on autopilot, and most normal folks instinctually feel something is off about me, though they do not know consciously why. I envy "normal" folks who can do all the socializing on autopilot because nature had given them this gift for free.
Now, most of my life I was sexually, emotionally and socially isolated, to the point I thought I wouldn't experience regular sexuality in the same way normal folks do. Luckily, the good doctor lady was right in some way, because while I don't really have the capacity to normally socialize, I did find an incredible partner to connect with. Our chemistry was wild and off the charts, and finally I felt what it meant to be desired in a sexual way, accepted and cherished as you are. When our son was born, I didn't even try to hide my tears, I was crying like a raging river. Even though my parents and some family mock me for the affection I show my son, for the first time in my life, I felt normal. These feelings I had felt normal. I experienced an instinctual form of connection with an another living being, something I could never do before just by itself without trying hard, and I cherish this bond like nothing else.
I wasn't asexual, I had a lot of emotions, vigor and desire within me, I was just unable to release this energy until recently and finally utilize my capacity to bond and love to its full potential. The good doctor lady thought I would become normal with time, but the truth is I just learned behavioral patterns how to act around normal folks to mimic their behavior and put them at ease through reverse engineering and building this knowledge base from the bottom up. I "fit in", but I will never belong. But that's okay, my experience taught me a lot about people, about myself, about connections, belonging, and ultimately love. I understand and cherish what so many take for granted and never even realize nature had given them for absolutely free. This effort I had to make, in its own way, gives me a sense of pride and provides me with some personal achievement.
A bit of a longer read, but thanks for sticking with me until the end.
