bad puns............

[venray]

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned.
I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack
it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too
exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my
life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I
couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any
patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live
on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center but they said I wasn't fit for
the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as
a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because e it
was always the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

 

[rllionhart]

Holds nose and runs screaming from room..

which is the ultimate accolade to some pun-ishment, for any Spider Robinson readers.
🙂

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Very amusing list. 😀

 

[sole seeker]

*GROAN!!* I'm blind! I shouldn't have read all 15 of them. I should have bailed after the first one or two, when I saw which way this was going!

Reminds me of this one:

Did you know that in 16th century England every little hamlet had a shop where you could buy French pastry and fresh squeezed orange juice?

This was the most popular breakfast for people of all classes... until one fateful day when the King happened to buy a burnt croissant.

He had the shopkeeper brought before him in chains, and demanded if there was any reason he shouldn't be hung, drawn and quartered!

Trembling, the shopkeeper told him that he was working on squeezing the juice, so he failed to pull the rolls from the oven in time.

This led the King to make a decree we've all heard ever since we were children: bakers can't be juicers. 😛

 

[lespieds]

I worked in a gun shop until I got fired.

The last shoe store I worked in gave me the boot.

Not as bad as this assasin I knew - his boss terminated him.

Ok enough of this shit....