Beer vs Vagina

[bellystrokes]

It had to come. A battle between beer and vagina. I think it’s a tough one but here goes.


Beer VS. Vagina

1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA

3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There’s definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I’ll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can’t drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don’t want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA

9. You normally don’t find old beer.
One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you’ll think you see flying saucers. Too much
vagina and you’ll think you’ve seen God.
One point to VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is
fun.
One point to VAGINA

12. In most countries there’s a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you’re the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it’ll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down.
One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,lager,etc
One point to BEER

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn’t have a mother
One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
drink it
One point to BEER

20. Tapping a Keg… easy. Tapping a Vagina… may take you weeks.
One Point to BEER

Final Score 11 BEER / 8 VAGINA

That’s it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny list of points. 😀

 

[Dário F]

Loool
Amusing list!

 

[unclebill]

Very good, Miss Strokes. I have to confess though, the ten vaginas is sort of a fantasy of mine. As long as I don`t have to buy all of them dinner on a Saturday night.

 

[bellystrokes]

Very good, Miss Strokes. I have to confess though, the ten vaginas is sort of a fantasy of mine. As long as I don`t have to buy all of them dinner on a Saturday night.

Tell you what, just provide some chips for the other nine that evening and treat me to the champagne brunch the next morning!

 

[unclebill]

Tell you what, just provide some chips for the other nine that evening and treat me to the champagne brunch the next morning!

Only if you allow me to pour some of the champagne over your toes.

 

[bellystrokes]

Only if you allow me to pour some of the champagne over your toes.

mmmmmmmmmm, I won't even care what year it was made.

 

[unclebill]

mmmmmmmmmm, I won't even care what year it was made.

I really need to visit L.A. again real soon. 😉

 

[bellystrokes]

My City of Angels (not to mention Passive Arts)

 

[unclebill]

I`ll bring the champainge and lemon merange pie for dessert. And by the way, don`t be surprised if a little bit of the pie somehow gets smeared on your toes, my dear.

 

[bellystrokes]

I`ll bring the champainge and lemon merange pie for dessert. And by the way, don`t be surprised if a little bit of the pie somehow gets smeared on your toes, my dear.

Phew, I got worried, you were thinking "Soupy Sales" with the pie, but I like your idea so much better. All the your good basic food groups.

 

[Illtcklu]

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER

Just like kicking a 53 yard field goal................ where did you get a gun?!

 

[bellystrokes]

Just like kicking a 53 yard field goal................ where did you get a gun?!

Where is the fucking beer and a ton of it when you need one?

 

[Illtcklu]

Where is the fucking beer and a ton of it when you need one?

..............or ................



Where is the fucking vagina and a ton of it when you need one?

 

[bellystrokes]

..............or ................



Where is the fucking vagina and a ton of it when you need one?

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHEEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHHEEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEEHHEEHEH

 

[Mastertank1]

Some more points

Beer kept around for three months or more starts to taste stale.
One point for vagina

Once you begin drinking a beer, if you don't finish it off it goes flat in about half an hour. Once you start with a Vagina, half an hour is barely adequate foreplay. I'd call that at LEAST 2 points to vagina.

If you blow on a beer you lose the foam and it goes flat even faster. Blowing on a vagina can elicit all kinds of positive reactions. One point to vagina.

If you lick up a beer, you get a reputation as a wierdo. If you lick up a vagina, you get a reputation as a thoughtful and considerate lover.
point to vagina.

Beers are no fun to cuddle after you finish them off.
point to vagina

by my count, that's 14 to 13 in favor of vagina. Vagina is DEFINITELY better than beer.

Personally, I only like beer when I'm really thirsty, but I always like vagina.
Case closed.

 

[bellystrokes]

Oh come on, Tank, quite riding the fence, tell us how you really feel.
heheehehhehe

 

[FeatherHeart22]

Lol !!!