Best Movie Insults.

[Mitchell]

This is meant to be a serious thread, and not a silly stuff post. My question here is, what does everyone think are some of the funniest, or best, or maybe most put down, movie insults you have ever heard? Please name the movie, and who said the insult, in what character, if you can.
I hadn't seen this movie in a while, so I had forgotten about this one. The other day on TV, I happened to come across War Of The Roses, the 1980s movie with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas as a divorcing couple. In the movie, as they are meeting with lawyers to discuss their divorce and property settlement, Michael Douglas, in his character of Oliver Rose, calls his wife Barbara's lawyer, a "Tiny, wormlike, infantessimlie Prick". (Barbara is Kathleen Turner, for those who havent seen the film) Although it was a most serious situation occurring in the movie when Michael Douglas said the line, the way he said it, and the line itself, made it, in my opinion, one of the all time best movie insults I have ever heard.
So, what are some of the best movie insults the forum members have ever heard. Hopefully we can come up with some good ones.

Mitch

 

[Mimi]

From the movie 'Waiting':

"So you're the coolest guy at ShenaniganZ, big fucking deal! That's like being the smartest person with Down Syndrome!"

 

[Goodieluver]

Great movie mimi-luv

This is from trainspotting when rent is running after a girl he just saw at a club and tryin to talk\hit on her

"Do you find that this approach usually works? Or let me guess, you've never tried it before. In fact, you don't normally approach girls - am I right? The truth is that you're a quiet sensitive type but, if I'm prepared to take a chance, I might just get to know the inner you: witty, adventurous, passionate, loving, loyal. Taxi! A little bit crazy, a little bit bad. But hey - don't us girls just love that?"

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

From the movie "The American President"

Michael Douglas' character Andrew Sheppard

We've had Presidents who were beloved who couldn't find a coherent sentence with 2 hands and a flashlight..

 

[He-Man]

From Batman Begins near the end where Lucious Fox got that other guy's(cant remember his name) job.

Guy (on phone with Bruce) : What makes you think you can decide who to fire from this company?

Bruce : The fact that I own it..through various funds and organizations. Look, it's all a bit technical, but the important thing is, the future of the company is secure. Isn't that right, Mr. Fox?

LF: "Right, Bruce" (looks to guy) "....Didn't you get the memo?"


Hilarous, considering what they said to him are the things he said to them near the beginning (or middle) of the movie.

 

[Goodieluver]

Not sure if this is an insult but he is blatantly lying to the cop

Patrick bateman from american psycho being questioned by a detective

"Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes."

heh before that quote in the conversation while discussing a missing person

"Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing. "

 

[tulipangel]

LMAO Goodie!!!!!!
"Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing. "

I would say thet he was trying to be insulting 🙂

 

[cloudgazer2k]

one of my favorite movies, dogma, had some great quotes...but this one comes to mind. though it isn't really insulting, it makes one think. this one was said by Metatron, the voice of God:Tell a person that you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar.

 

[Redmage]

From "Good Morning, Vietnam!" Robin Williams' character to the nasty First Sergeant:

"You are in worse need of a blowjob than any white man in history."

 

[Mastertank1]

From the movie

The Eiger Sanction.
Clint Eastwood, as professor Hemlock, a part time assassin, is having a conversation with an operative of a supersecret government agency whose name is Y.K. Dragon, do not know the actor.

Dragon; They want to see you.
Hemlock;Who are THEY?
Dragon; My superiors.
Hemlock;That doesn't narrow it down at all.

Believe it or not, Y.K. Dragon's first name, as revealed in a later scene, is Yurasis.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[LindyHopper]

From Mallrats: "...when a girl says it's a good size, it's a nice way of saying it's small."

From Bring It On: "Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, guys, and girls, this thread is turning out to be great so far.

These next two are from an entire scene and a fight between friends. Also, in the American President, there is a scene where Michael Douglas and Martin Sheen are playing pool, and they get into a verbal fight. Douglas says to Sheen:" Is the view good from the cheap seats, AJ? It occurs to me that in 25 years, I've never seen your name on a ballot, and you've always been one step behind me, why is that?" To which Sheen repilies:" If I wasn't, you would be the most popular history professor at the University of Wisconsin". To me, those are both incredible insults. The president is saying to the chief of staff that he has always been in the shadows, while the Chief of Staff is telling the president that he would be a nothing without him. Not as good, maybe, as Douglas' insult to Kathleen Turner' s lawyer in War of the Roses, but cutting and insulting, nonetheless.

Mitch

 

[slacker2114]

From 'Happy Gilmore'...

"I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!"

"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"

Now how can you possibly comeback after that?

 

[MrPartickler]

old classic line from Ghostbusters:

(Dan Akroyd) Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine, until dickless here cut off the power grid!
Mayor: Is that true?
(Bill Murray) Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, Your Honor, this man has no dick

 

[slacker2114]

oh yeah, short and to the point in the first X-men...

Wolverine: "It's me"

Cyclops: "Prove it"

Wolverine: "....You're a dick"

 

[dman68]

In the movie Tommy Boy, pretty much everything David Spade's character Richard says to Farley's character, Tommy, is insulting. But the one that seems to stand out most is when they are in the car and Tommy is eating fires and shoots the ketchup packet directlyinto his mouth and Richard says, "UH, I can actually hear you getting fatter." I thought it was freakin hilarious!

 

[Goodieluver]

agent smith from the origional groundbreaking matrix(sigh....instead of keanu we could had seen brandon lee)

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure. "

 

[tulipangel]

Oh im gonna have to go to blockbuster now and rent all these movies! They bring bac memories lmao!

 

[Coffee]

I would have to say the quote from Billy Madison when they are in the contest at the end. The Judge says something to the fact....That was the most unintelligent unthoughtout statment i have ever hear. At no point was there a rational thought, we are all dumber for listening to it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul. (or something like that)

 

[tulipangel]

I would have to say the quote from Billy Madison when they are in the contest at the end. The Judge says something to the fact....That was the most unintelligent unthoughtout statment i have ever hear. At no point was there a rational thought, we are all dumber for listening to it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul. (or something like that)

LMAO thats a great part in the movie!

 

[Mimi]

I had to get IMDB's help with this one, as I forgot a few of the movie titles within it....LOL. From "Clerks"....

WARNING: THIS ONE IS EXPLICIT!!!































The video store clerk is on the phone when a mom and little girl walk up to him at the counter of the video store....


Mom: "Excuse me, do you sell videos?"
Clerk: "Yeah, what're you looking for?"
Kid: "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup."
Clerk: "Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?"
Mom: "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup."
Kid: "Happy Scrappy..."
Mom: "She loves it."
Clerk: "Obviously. 'Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My **** Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave ****", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?'"

It HAS to be seen to be fully appreciated. One of the funniest scenes ever in a Kevin Smith film.

 

[Mitchell]

Again, some more great ones here.

From the movie Twins. Also, two insults in the same movie. In one scene, Danny Devito calls a businessman who is supposed to buy something out of a car he stole, and tells the man that he will not sell him the contents of the car for less than "twenty", to which the man replies angrily:" You Peckerhead, you must be out of your cotton pickin mind!" Danny didnt realize that the man was going to pay him five million for the car's contents, and not thousand, as he thought when he asked for "twenty". Then, when Devito goes to deliver the contents of the car, the businessman insults Danny by saying:" You dont know anything about what's in here, do you. son? You're just some idiotic fool who stole the car?" I thought those scenes had some pretty bad insults in them.

Mitch

 

[He-Man]

oh yeah, short and to the point in the first X-men...

Wolverine: "It's me"

Cyclops: "Prove it"

Wolverine: "....You're a dick"

Reminds me of another insult from that film...


Wolverine: " 'Storm'?....'Cyclops'?" (looks at Prof X) "Whatta they call YOU --'Wheels'?"

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

One that comes to mind for me is the movie "With Honors"

Cortney (Moira Kelly) says to Monty (Brendon Frasier) "We are roomates and we respect eachother's space. Then Simon (Joe Pesci) says "You respect eachother's empty air? That's pretty profound for a couple of college students."

My second one would be "My cousin Vinny"

Vinney (Joe Pesci) says "You stick out like a sore thumb here" Lisa (Marisa Tomai) then says to him "Me?! What about you?" Vinny says.."I am better than you at least I am wearing cowboy boots."...Lisa..."Oh yeah, You blend."

 

[sole seeker]

From the movie Johnny Dangerously:

Spoken by arch-villian Muylroney, "You farging cork-sucker! I'm-a gonna cut-offa you arms, an' I'm gonna shove 'em up-a you ice-hole!" (Really should be heard with his New York Italian accent to be fully appreciated.)