Children's Books You'll Never See

[Strelnikov]

Too bad we'll never see them - some of these would be an improvement over the kiddie books currently on the market.

"You Are Different and That's Bad"

"Dad's New Wife Timothy"

"Pop! Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games"

"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Your Household Pets"

"The Hardy Boys, the Bobbsey Twins, and the Vice Squad"

"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"

"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"

"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"

"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"

"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"

"Bi-Curious George"

"Who Shat In The Hat?"


Strelnikov

 

[Dave2112]

I could have really used the "Parachute" book when I was eleven and my buddy Mike and I explored the realm of drag coefficients and gravity with two Hefty Lawn and Leaf Bags and a fire watch tower. We both broke our legs, thankyouverymuch.😎

I liked the three potty training books Peter Griffin found at the library on "Family Guy"...

For the new parent - "Everybody Poops"

For the progressive parent - "Nobody Poops but You"

For the Catholic parent - "You're a Naughty Little Boy and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You"

😎

 

[NYCity]

All kidding aside, "Everybody Poops" is real book. My local bookstore has it in their window display case alongside a book, I believe, by the same author: "The Gas We Pass", subtitled, "The Book of Farts"

Sorry to ruin everybody's breakfast, but the public has a right to know.

 

[venray]

Decisions, decisions......

Which one shall I choose for my son's 3'rd birthday........lol

 

[shark]

How about "Horton Humps a Who"?

 

[Shem the Penman]

I have a kids' book called The Story of the Little Mole Who Went to Find Whodunit. It's the heartwarming story of a mole who wakes up with an, erm, dropping on his head and goes around visiting all the other animals to find which of them left it there. In the course of this investigation, each of the animals demonstrates how he, she, or it produces droppings. Just the thing for a kid going through the anal phase, ain't it?

 

[venray]

I have a kids' book called The Story of the Little Mole Who Went to Find Whodunit. It's the heartwarming story of a mole who wakes up with an, erm, dropping on his head and goes around visiting all the other animals to find which of them left it there. In the course of this investigation, each of the animals demonstrates how he, she, or it produces droppings. Just the thing for a kid going through the anal phase, ain't it?

Awesome Shem!! I must have a copy. venraya will appreciate me reading it to him I am sure!

😀

 

[Prime]

not sure i want to know the moral of that story. 😱

 

[Nebula45]

Some my friend sent me....

This is the NEW list of books banned by the New York State Board of Regents, for reasons unknown.

1) All Dogs Go To Hell

2) You were an accident

3) Daddy Drinks because you Cry

4) Grandpa Gets a Coffin

5) Bi-Curious George

6) Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver

7) What's That Dog Doing to that Other Dog

8) Strangers Have the Best Candy

9) Some Kittens CAN fly!

10) Pop Goes the Weasel and 100 Other Fun Things to do with a Microwave

11) Katy was so bad her mom stopped Loving Her

12) You're Different and That's Bad (a personal favorite)

13) Why God Burned Down DisneyLand

14) The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking


A few are repeats, but that's ok. i get a kick out of these everytime...

 

[Strelnikov]

Everybody Poops

I always thought it should be a "scratch and sniff" book.

Strelnikov

 

[qjakal]

Outdoing ourselves...

JUST when I'm sure the bar can't go any lower, my TMF buddies find yet another notch down there!@! 😛 Q

 

[venray]

Re: Outdoing ourselves...

JUST when I'm sure the bar can't go any lower, my TMF buddies find yet another notch down there!@! 😛 Q

Wait until you see some of the other threads!! Check out the St Pats day one. Missed ya..

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