3 men had died on the 25th and were bound for hell.
St peter says "Well, you guys do not deserve entry to heaven, but in light of Christmas, if you can represent Chrismas in some manner, I will let you slide.
The first guy pulls out his lighter and lights it. "See Peter, it is like a christmas candle". He gets in.
The second guy pulls out his car keys - he shakes them and says - "These are jingle bells". St peter is not impressed, but lets him into heaven.
The third guy pulls out a pair of women's undies. St Peter asked - "Now just HOW does that represent Christmas?" The guy responds "These are Carols!"
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A big mean biker guy walks into the tavern, to the bar and lifts his arms. Pointing either side, he says "Everyone on this side is a cock-sucker, and everyone on that side is a mother fucker! Now bartender, give me a beer."
He is drinking it and he hears someone creeping around. The biker asks "Where the hell are you going?" The guy says - "I was on the wrong side".
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4 men died in a car crash, two straight guys and two gay guys. The first straight guy goes and St peter says "I cannot let you into heaven, you did not love God, you only loved money. You loved money SO much, you married a woman named Penney" And he goes down. The second straight guy goes up and he hears "I cannot let you in, you did not love God, you only loved food. You loved food SO much, you married a woman named Candie". And he goes to hell also. Well about this time, one of the gay guys nudges his partner and whispers "This is not looking good, Dick!"
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Johnny Cochran and the pope JP II died close to the same day. It is said they passed each other on the up/down escalator. 😀
St peter says "Well, you guys do not deserve entry to heaven, but in light of Christmas, if you can represent Chrismas in some manner, I will let you slide.
The first guy pulls out his lighter and lights it. "See Peter, it is like a christmas candle". He gets in.
The second guy pulls out his car keys - he shakes them and says - "These are jingle bells". St peter is not impressed, but lets him into heaven.
The third guy pulls out a pair of women's undies. St Peter asked - "Now just HOW does that represent Christmas?" The guy responds "These are Carols!"
-----------------------------
A big mean biker guy walks into the tavern, to the bar and lifts his arms. Pointing either side, he says "Everyone on this side is a cock-sucker, and everyone on that side is a mother fucker! Now bartender, give me a beer."
He is drinking it and he hears someone creeping around. The biker asks "Where the hell are you going?" The guy says - "I was on the wrong side".
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4 men died in a car crash, two straight guys and two gay guys. The first straight guy goes and St peter says "I cannot let you into heaven, you did not love God, you only loved money. You loved money SO much, you married a woman named Penney" And he goes down. The second straight guy goes up and he hears "I cannot let you in, you did not love God, you only loved food. You loved food SO much, you married a woman named Candie". And he goes to hell also. Well about this time, one of the gay guys nudges his partner and whispers "This is not looking good, Dick!"
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Johnny Cochran and the pope JP II died close to the same day. It is said they passed each other on the up/down escalator. 😀
