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Companionship and Lonliness

HOLLYWOOD

2nd Level Yellow Feather
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
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the hollywood brother was talked to a mate of his at a bar the other day when a topic of interest came up. the topic was do people get so lonly and depressed that they might perfer just having anyone being around to being alone. this got me thinking and made me silently wonder if anyone ever been in a position where the person has been so alone that they would fall for anyone who showed any type of compassion or warmth?
 
I have heard of this but have no direct experience.
 
Hmm... heard of it as well, but no experience. Especially when I'm prime example of the opposite (everyone around me tells me to find a girl but I remain stoic and single... and lovin' every minute of it)
 
I got that way for a while, I was really unlucky with girls for years. But eventually I realised that if I go around with that attitude, the chances of it ending well are slim-to-none, so I figured when the right person came along, it'd just happen all on its own, without any planning (this came true).
 
Yes, there for a while my theme song was "Size Matters"

"Some day she wants a big old house up on a hill
some day she wants a big ol' bank account with too much to spend....
but right now all she wants is a man!!!"😱

But I got more than just a man :super_hap When it's fated to happen it'll happen--through the strangest of circumstances. Never count anybody out of your life, even thru chance meeting--I remember the first time I was bored and im'd Senshi on MSN because nobody else was on😀

~K
 
Yes, there for a while my theme song was "Size Matters"

"Some day she wants a big old house up on a hill
some day she wants a big ol' bank account with too much to spend....
but right now all she wants is a man!!!"😱

But I got more than just a man :super_hap When it's fated to happen it'll happen--through the strangest of circumstances. Never count anybody out of your life, even thru chance meeting--I remember the first time I was bored and im'd Senshi on MSN because nobody else was on😀

~K

yeah, and the only reason I was even ON her list is because Kimiko introduced me, totally mistaking me and thinking I was somebody else. XD How's that for fate.
 
Yes I believe that a very lonely person can fall for just about anyone who shows compassion. And depending on his/her life's circumstances it could even be instant.

I truely do believe that no one should ever have to go through life without any personal connection because it is the most cruelest fate any person could ever lead.

(and I probably consider myself one of those people, but I just masked that with being impersonal on all levels)
 
I truely do believe that no one should ever have to go through life without any personal connection because it is the most cruelest fate any person could ever lead.

(and I probably consider myself one of those people, but I just masked that with being impersonal on all levels)

Well... not really anyone. I like being single... loads of advantages that way. Especially if you look at it the way I do: there are four things girls can offer me: their time, support, their love and sex. First three I don't need nor want, and the last one can easily be replaced by manual labor.

So relax, m8s. Being single is really cool, once you see the advantages (no one around to bug you, no one around to watch your every move, nobody you need to take care of, nobody to be jealous of every girl you treat nice...)
 
Well... not really anyone. I like being single... loads of advantages that way. Especially if you look at it the way I do: there are four things girls can offer me: their time, support, their love and sex. First three I don't need nor want, and the last one can easily be replaced by manual labor.

So relax, m8s. Being single is really cool, once you see the advantages (no one around to bug you, no one around to watch your every move, nobody you need to take care of, nobody to be jealous of every girl you treat nice...)

That reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. I can't remember the whole of it, but he said "SINGLE = Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday".

He also said single people always have better sex stories than married people. 😀

"Well, last week Margaret was vacuuming in her GOOD robe... And she bent down to vacuum under the couch... And I thought "hell, I can watch Bonanza any time!" XD
 
That reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. I can't remember the whole of it, but he said "SINGLE = Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday".

He also said single people always have better sex stories than married people. 😀

"Well, last week Margaret was vacuuming in her GOOD robe... And she bent down to vacuum under the couch... And I thought "hell, I can watch Bonanza any time!" XD

XD I'm so proud of you for picking Foxworthy up so fast! 😀
 
Well... not really anyone. I like being single... loads of advantages that way. Especially if you look at it the way I do: there are four things girls can offer me: their time, support, their love and sex. First three I don't need nor want, and the last one can easily be replaced by manual labor.

So relax, m8s. Being single is really cool, once you see the advantages (no one around to bug you, no one around to watch your every move, nobody you need to take care of, nobody to be jealous of every girl you treat nice...)

Oh so you too follow the ISTP personality trait. Nice to see another one that enjoys his/her solitude.
 
Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving = ISTP

Like their fellow SPs, ISTPs are fundamentally Performers (note the capital 'P' 🙂), but as Ts their areas of interest tend to be mechanical rather than artistic like those of ISFPs, and unlike most ESPs they do not present an impression of constant activity. On the contrary, they lie dormant, saving their energy until a project or an adventure worthy of their time comes along--and then they launch themselves at it. The apparently frenzied state that inevitably ensues is actually much more controlled than it appears--ISTPs always seem to know what they're doing when it comes to physical or mechanical obstacles--but the whole chain of events presents a confusing and paradoxical picture to an outsider.

ISTPs are equally difficult to understand in their need for personal space, which in turn has an impact on their relationships with others. They need to be able to "spread out"--both physically and psychologically--which generally implies encroaching to some degree on others, especially if they decide that something of someone else's is going to become their next project. (They are generally quite comfortable, however, with being treated the same way they treat others--at least in this respect.) But because they need such a lot of flexibility to be as spontaneous as they feel they must be, they tend to become as inflexible as the most rigid J when someone seems to be threatening their lifestyle (although they usually respond with a classic SP rage which is yet another vivid contrast to their "dormant," impassive, detached mode). These territorial considerations are usually critical in relationships with ISTPs; communication also tends to be a key issue, since they generally express themselves non-verbally. When they do actually verbalize, ISTPs are masters of the one-liner, often showing flashes of humor in the most tense situations; this can result in their being seen as thick-skinned or tasteless.

Like most SPs, ISTPs may have trouble with rote and abstract classroom learning, which tend not to be good measures of their actual intelligence. They tend, sometimes with good reason, to be highly skeptical of its practical value, and often gravitate towards classes in industrial arts; part-time vocational/ technical programs can be useful to even the college-bound ISTP. In terms of careers, mechanics and any of the skilled trades are traditional choices, and those ISTPs with strong numerical as well mechanical gifts tend to do extremely well in most areas of engineering. Working as paramedics or firefighters can fulfill the ISTP need to live on the edge; they are at their best in a crisis, where their natural disregard for rules and authority structures allows them to focus on and tackle the emergency at hand in the most effective way.

ISTPs with more sedate careers usually take on high-risk avocations like racing, skydiving, and motorcycling. While aware of the dangers involved, they are so in touch with the physical world that they know they can get away with much smaller safety margins than other types.
Famous ISTPs:

(I have to give Joe Butt credit for most of the following)

U.S. Presidents:
Zachary Taylor

Charles Bronson
Tom Cruise
James Dean
Clint Eastwood
Burt Reynolds
Keith Richards
Charlie Yeager
Frank Zappa

Credit: http://typelogic.com/istp.html
 
Thanks for the explanation, Chameleon.
Well, that could be true, in a way... some of those things there do describe me (engineering profession in college, 'dangerous' hobbies - martial arts, accent on things that have practical uses, being insensitive to the point that some people ask themselves do I have emotions at all...), and some of them don't (concentrating on project at a time... I mostly do many things at once; dormancy... I usually am one of the more energetic people in every group, and I'm probably going to be in the heat of anything that is happening at the moment; non-verbal communication... I solve most cases with words).

Well, back to the topic, I think that people who want a girlfriend/boyfriend shouldn't pick just anybody... neither should they have too high standards. It's all in the balance... jumping off at anyone will get you disappointed too many times, and you could miss the 'right' person while being with the 'wrong' one. On the other hand, having too high standards might make you not consider a person who you'd actually have a good time with.
 
the hollywood brother was talked to a mate of his at a bar the other day when a topic of interest came up. the topic was do people get so lonly and depressed that they might perfer just having anyone being around to being alone. this got me thinking and made me silently wonder if anyone ever been in a position where the person has been so alone that they would fall for anyone who showed any type of compassion or warmth?

The answer is yes, but keep in mind that when this happens to a person they don't view it as "falling for just anyone." They honestly believe that they are falling for a very special person. It takes unhealthy people to form an unhealthy relationship - healthy people recognize early what is going on and take steps to correct it. Unhealthy people are professionals in self-delusion.

There are two quotes I have read that I like that pertain to this situation"

"Better to be alone than fall for the wrong person"
and
"Being lonely is just being alone and not liking the company."

They may seem harsh, but the reality is that are relationships are only as good as the relationship we have with ourselves.

*gets off soap box*

Btw why do you ask? Morbid curiousity or something more?
 
yes. I have been rejected by every single girl for the past 8 years and whenever a girl shows the slightest compassion i am touched. But that doesnt mean i have any illusions she will like me.

Im just moved.
 
"Being lonely is just being alone and not liking the company." this is a great quote. the hollywood brother can dig it. the hollywood brother thinks that at one time in the new jersey area, a local lad named bruce said "But it's a sad man my friend who's livin' in his own skin and can't stand the company". The hollywood brother guess that if people who feel this way want to have better days then perhaps they need just a little of that human touch
 
Well, back to the topic, I think that people who want a girlfriend/boyfriend shouldn't pick just anybody...

There's a new pop-psychology movement whose basic premises are a lot like what you just described.

That reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. I can't remember the whole of it, but he said "SINGLE = Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday".

Sounds more like a T-shirt!

He also said single people always have better sex stories than married people. 😀

"Well, last week Margaret was vacuuming in her GOOD robe... And she bent down to vacuum under the couch... And I thought "hell, I can watch Bonanza any time!" XD

Who is this "Margaret"? Does she do windows? :laughing:

Blueship - Rejection, is definitely a bitch. If you've had a lot of it, it's easy to conclude that that's all there is. I've been in your town, so to speak.

Hollywood Brother - Refresh my memory, which Bruce Springsteen track were you quoting?
 
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the hollywood brother was mainly quoting the song better days
 
the other day the hollywood brother did a little expereiment on this topic. the hollywood brother worked himself into al only and depressed mood before he went to his hollywood brother job. then the hollywood brother started talking to a few people. after a little bit, the hollywood brother could feel the hollywood brother being pulled towards anyone who was being nice to the hollywood brother. this leads the hollywood brother to think that if you lonly or depressed then you could fall for anyone that shows a little compassion to you
 
yeah, and the only reason I was even ON her list is because Kimiko introduced me, totally mistaking me and thinking I was somebody else. XD How's that for fate.

Hmmm...what a unique twist...
 
the other day the hollywood brother did a little expereiment on this topic. the hollywood brother worked himself into al only and depressed mood before he went to his hollywood brother job. then the hollywood brother started talking to a few people. after a little bit, the hollywood brother could feel the hollywood brother being pulled towards anyone who was being nice to the hollywood brother. this leads the hollywood brother to think that if you lonly or depressed then you could fall for anyone that shows a little compassion to you

Makes perfect sense to this reader.

Getting out and being with people is the antidote to loneliness 98% of the time.
 
I have extreme social inhibition and love shyness-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyness in addition to gender issues so I'm extremely pessimistic of ever finding fulfillment. I'm a total virgin, barely spoken to any women face to face and am totally submissive. It may seem shallow but at this point I'm mostly looking for someone who shares my sexual fetishes and little else.
 
i believe it is called settling. It is more a matter of wanting true companionship. I have given up. I have nothing to try for anymore.
 
I don't believe this is possible, I KNOW that it is. That was basically how I was during my whole high school period. I didn't have any female companions back then so I would cause me to feel some sense of loneliness (and a little low self-esteem since no one seemed to find you interesting.) So if any girl had taken the time to interact with me I would fall for them. I think I fell like for 3 girls during my four years. Luckily I realized how much of an idiot (as well as a clingy person) I was, and had decided to not look for anyone special, if she's their we would eventually meet. It's still embarrassing looking back at how acted back then :S
 
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