Dave2112's Fearless Football Predictions 2003! Kickoff Edition!

[Dave2112]

Now that the most sacred of times is once again upon us, here's some predictions, pontifications and preamble for the upcoming 2003 NFL Season....


The Cincinnati Bengals, with defensive guru Marvin Lewis as coach and cannon-armed Carson Palmer at QB will win six games for the first time since the Reagan administration. Four teams will actually finish behind the Bengals in the AFC, enciting riots in the streets of Cincinnati as crazed fans loot buildings, overturn cars and take to the streets shouting "We're Number Twelve!!! We're Number Twelve!!!"

After witnessing the brilliance of the Pre-season and it's impact on team rosters, the NFL Competition Commitee decides that the 2004 Preseason will be extended to twelve games, so that all those third-stringers can see some Season play. Sounds fair.

Jimmy Jones ventures onto the sidelines during the Dallas Cowboys fifth consecutive loss. Coach Bill Parcells proceeds to wrap the headset cord around his neck and drag him to the center star for some "old-school".

The New York Giants finally find a long-snapper in Bob "Itchy" MacBourbon, the team's long-time janitor. He is signed to a three-year, $100-and-all-the-Night-Train-you-can-drink contract.

After being exhonerated at a hearing for allegedly overpaying salaries to steal four Jets players, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder offers each of the original "Hogs" $400,000,000 to fork over some DNA for a cloning "project".

************************************

Ok, seriously. This looks like it's going to be a great season. It would be nice, however, if the starters were actually going to get to play. This preseason has cost the NFL some valuable players for nothing. The Falcons and Jets were considered possible Super Bowl contenders before the loss of thier respective quarterbacks. I don't feel that the NFL needs more than two preseason games, rather than five. It's becoming more of a marketing thing than a coach's way to test his backups. This time around, many coaches were playing thier starters into the second and even third quarter. I saw a Colts/Broncos preseason game that made me shudder. Peyton Manning hands the ball off to Edgerrin James, who hands it back off to Marvin Harrison on an end-around. Harrison picks up a great lead block from Peyton Manning! I wouldn't have my starting quarterback blocking a 285 lb. linebacker for a wide reciever on a trick running route in the regular season! And you're gonna risk that for a lousy exhibition game?!? And this was with 3 left in the 1st half, too.

Ok, here's how I see things rounding out:

AFC East

Buffalo
New England
Miami
New York Jets

AFC North

Pittsburgh
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Baltimore

AFC South

Tennessee
Indianapolis
Houston
Jacksonville

AFC West
Kansas City
Oakland
Denver
San Diego

NFC East
Philadelphia
New York Giants
Washington
Dallas

NFC North
Green Bay
Minnesota
Chicago
Detroit

NFC South
New Orleans
Tampa Bay
Atlanta
Carolina

NFC West
Seattle
St. Louis
San Francisco
Arizona

Couple of surprises there. Every year since '98 when the Falcons made it, there has been a surprise team to make the Super Bowl. I see the Seattle Seahawks in the best position for an NFC upset. And watch out for Buffalo this year. Drew Bledsoe has looked great in preseason and practice and coaches say they have the perfect system for him. Just today, the Bills signed Pro Bowl safety Lawyer Milloy after he was unexpectedly cut by the New England Patriots. They also picked up Takeo Spikes from the Bengals at linebacker, Spikes being the only real bright spot at Cincy other than Corey Dillon. Sam Gash at fullback (another ex-Patriot along with Bledsoe and Milloy, so expect the Bills to sweep the Pats this year), massive depth at running back and a better-than-average O-line...and I think Buffalo takes the AFC this year. That last-place schedule ain't gonna hurt, either.

So, there's my "Before The Season Even Starts" pick for the Super Bowl.

Buffalo Bills 31
Seattle Seahawks 24


😎

 

[JPie1]

I just managed to pick up 4 juicy tickets to the Giants/Eagles game on Oct 19th, front row about the 10 yard line!!! Should be a great game!

 

[red indian]

Oh Lordy!!...........

.....why do you guys bother with this armour plated line dancing? get tuned in to this years Rugby Union "World Cup". It has two totally amazing, unbelievable, supernatural features. 1. The term "World Cup" actually means you compete with other countries to win the title of "World Champions" (weird or what???!!!) 2. None of the players wear ANY, repeat, ANY armour of any kind!!! and they run in to each other with not a care in the world (how DO those guys do it!!!)

England are odds on favourites to win this year, but i am sure if we dont win you will not find us lying prostrate across the pitch like big babies trying to stop the game, unlike one of your disqualified sprinters!

 

[Mimi]

Hmmm. I'm not gonna begin to attempt to rank every division in the NFL as Dave did, but I will give my preliminary prediction for the 2004 Super Bowl:

Tennessee Titans - 24
Arizona Cardinals - 17

Mimi 🙂

 

[terorizer]

Nor will I try and rank every team, since I haven't been paying nearly enough attention to total league happenings this summer. But I will say:

AFC East- I REALLY like Buffalo, and I'll like them more if this is the year Bledsoe sheds the Belichek curse, but with New England and Miami who knows? If the Pats find enough of a running game to compliment Brady/Fins find enough of a pass attack to compliment Williams, it's a pick 'em.

AFC North - It's Pittsburgh's to lose, though I'm not sold on Tommy Maddox until he does it for a whole season... but I think even Rick Mirer could go to the pro-bowl with Buress (looks like he's ready to challenge T.O. and Moss for wideout supremecy; all respect to Marvin Harrison), Ward and Randle-El. Cleveland intrigues me though.

AFC South - Indy, Indy Indy! *sigh* Conventional wisdom says Tennessee is the sounder choice though.

AFC West - The Raiders are still the team to beat, but I don't think they've recovered from the dismantling of the SuperBowl, and this is year 3 of Vermeil's plan, but I think Denver will sneak in and win the division.

NFC East - I don't know if Philly has recovered from the Championship game, but who's gonna challenge in the division?

NFC North - Everyone seems to think Bret will do it again, just a matter of when? No challenges in this one either. Detroit is my sleeper though.

NFC South - CW says Tampa is the best bet, but I'm not sure Brad Johnson's "manage the game" approach will be enough, since the league catches on fast to things done the year before, especially those done by the champion. Carolina's my sleeper, assuming Stephen Davis is his normal self.

NFC West - The Rams are back. If Martz uses Marshall the way Vermeil will use Holmes, we could see the Rams vs the Chiefs.

If Mims can have a "preliminary" pick, then I can too!

Rematch - St Louis 27 Tennessee 20

 

[Deleted member 2452]

my predictions for this weekend;

half the teams that play will win, and half the teams that play will lose. in case of a tie, all the fans lose.
basicly i'm with red indian, i dislike football.
steve

 

[asutickler]

lol, oh please. Y'all seem to have forgotten one teeny little detail about the upcoming football season... that being that THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES SHALL CRUSH EVERYONE!!!

My Superbowl prediction:

Philadelphia - 57

Some Helpless AFC Team - 3


😛 😛 😛

 

[Dave2112]

Before I even looked to see the posts to this thread, I KNEW we'd get Injun's annual "Football sucks" diatribe....ah, some things never change. Tell you what, when Britney drops trou before a rugby game, gimme a call. 😀 (By the way, I like Rugby, too.)

Mimi, just curious...where the hell did you get Arizona from? Yeah, anybody can make it these days, but Arizona? Plummer's gone, Boston's gone along with half the O and D lines. Jeff Blake is on his fourth team in five years. What bright shining spot do you see there? (Just curious, not being sarcastic. 😎 )

 

[red indian]

Sorry Dave.........

......its sort of a TMF tradition now dont you think? my ill informed rant about grid iron! its up there now with july 4 and thanksgiving dont you think? I would love Britney to drop by an England RFU game as long as she keeps her gob shut.

 

[TickledToDeath]

My prediction

Giants on a mission after being screwed by a ref who couldn't call a flag football game last season.......

Giants-45
Oakland-20


TTD

 

[Mimi]

Mimi, just curious...where the hell did you get Arizona from? Yeah, anybody can make it these days, but Arizona? Plummer's gone, Boston's gone along with half the O and D lines. Jeff Blake is on his fourth team in five years. What bright shining spot do you see there? (Just curious, not being sarcastic. 😎 )

I know I know...lol. I can't say, honestly. They looked really promising in the pre-season, and they have a young, strong team this year. I think they may surprise some people. Besides, I always like to pick one underdog out of left field just to be different. That way if they DO come through, I can always run circles around ya all, stuffing feathers and blocks of cheese down your shirts screaming "I PICKED EM I PICKED EM!" 😀 😀

Mimi

 

[TickledToDeath]

I know I know...lol. I can't say, honestly. They looked really promising in the pre-season, and they have a young, strong team this year. I think they may surprise some people. Besides, I always like to pick one underdog out of left field just to be different. That way if they DO come through, I can always run circles around ya all, stuffing feathers and blocks of cheese down your shirts screaming "I PICKED EM I PICKED EM!" 😀 😀

Mimi

The Pack will be the Limburger(or is it Limberger)cheese of the NFL this season.😛 😉

TTD

 

[Mimi]

The Pack will be the Limburger(or is it Limberger)cheese of the NFL this season.😛 😉

TTD

After the way they played today, TTD (getting their butts WHOMPED by the Vikings, no less, AT LAMBEAU!!), I would not doubt it.

But I will remain loyal to the boys no matter how bad of a season they may have 🙂

Mimi

 

[JPie1]

score one for the Giants!

 

[Dave2112]

VIKES WIN AT LAMBEAU!!!! YEE-FREAKIN'- HAH!!!!! About time they won an outdoor game.

And Ray...I knew the Bills would beat the Pats, but you guys could have at least given us a game!

The Giants looked pretty sharp, too. This strengthens my pick of Seattle. If the Rams are going to play like that, the NFC West will be Seattle's to lose. I guess I'm not alone in my pick of the Seahawks, as a few of the commentators this weekend mentioned liking Seattle's chances. Time shall tell.

So, what does everyone think of Atlanta's new uniforms? I think they're pretty slick, my own self.

On a personal note, if Philadelphia wins tonight (Monday), I'll have my first perfect-pick week since 1989! I picked Houston to upset Miami, only because the Fins were due for an opening-day loss, and Houston won thier first last year, so I went with the trend. Nice way to say lucky pick, I guess. And to be honest, I tossed a coin for my Detroit/Arizona pick. The Giants were an easy pick, as no matter how rough thier season gets, they always seem to play the Rams well. Kinda like the Jets...even if they only win two games a year, those wins are against Miami, or the way KC would always beat Seattle twice, even if they sucked that year.

This looks like it's going to be a great season!

Oh, by the way....how long until Monday Night Football realizes the gold-mine they have and puts Lisa Guerrero (sp?) in a thong bikini?

😀

(By the way, would anyone be interested if I started a weekly-pick thread? Not sure how I'd do it yet, and it would only be for bragging rights, but I'm only going to think of it if there's enough interest.)

 

[giggleygirl25]

grins hugely **does happy dance over bills thwomping(cool invented new word) of the patriots**...yeah a football pick thread would be interesting i think

 

[Ryanthetickler]

You got the NFC East alll wrong, the Cowboys are going to finish ahead of Washington of course. Cowboys are going to be 7-9 8-8 the best this year.

With Tuna, Newman, Quincy as starter ehh, *spam*brick, Terry she Glenn, Antonio Bryant, Joey Galloway, Larry Allen, ROY Rookie Of Year Williams

You can't be worst, I mean injuries were a main thing that took us down last year. Allen, Woodson both injured, key and pro bowl players right there.

We have a tough schedule 2nd toughest in the league behind Jets. But I think Parcells will get this team back on track, even ESPNEWS said the Cowboys are going to win more then 5 games this year. Giants are in for a big beating, Shockey calls Parcells a homo, better watch out for Williams, going to land a hard hit on Shockey, put him out of his miseribly.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Way To Go Giants!!!


😀 TTD

 

[Dave2112]

DAMN IT! The Eagles screwed up my first perfect-pick week in over a decade. Oh well, 15-1 ain't bad for opening weekend I guess.

How about Kurt Warner getting pulled for next week's San Fran game in favor of Marc Bulger? If it's due to lingering effects of his injury, I can see it. But if this is another example of the Spurrier School of Rotating Quarterbacks, it bodes ill for the Rams. Bodes great for my Seahawks, but ill for the Rams.

The Bucs looked good, but I still don't see them repeating. They have, if not THE best, a Top 3 defense...but the offense still looks like the same old "don't screw up enough to lose" style favored by Tampa and Baltimore. Plus, other teams are going to adjust, as teams always do for a defending champ. And Tampa cannot expect offensive success with the "running back by commitee" approach, either...just ask the Giants from a few years back.

Speaking of the Giants, I LOVED the Lawrence Taylor spot they showed on MNF for the upcoming Giants/Cowboys game. There's LT sitting in a chair in his old jersey..."Bill Parcells coached us to two Super Bowl victories. Now he's coaching the Dallas Cowboys. The Dallas Cowboys?!?!? I-I'm just gonna sit here 'til I wake up." Then they cut to the game preview and then back to LT..."Any minute now..."

Classic.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Speaking of the Giants, I LOVED the Lawrence Taylor spot they showed on MNF for the upcoming Giants/Cowboys game. There's LT sitting in a chair in his old jersey..."Bill Parcells coached us to two Super Bowl victories. Now he's coaching the Dallas Cowboys. The Dallas Cowboys?!?!? I-I'm just gonna sit here 'til I wake up." Then they cut to the game preview and then back to LT..."Any minute now..."

Classic.

Definitly a classic! Loved that promo. I am really looking forward to MNF next week. This one should be a keeper. Get out the VHS tape and get ready to record.

TTD

 

[TickledToDeath]

Definitly a classic! Loved that promo. I am really looking forward to MNF next week. This one should be a keeper. Get out the VHS tape and get ready to record.

TTD

On and by the by.....Dallas-13
.....................Giants-37


TTD