(Disclaimer: I posted this joke in General Discussion a couple of years ago, so it may be familiar to some)
Sheila was an attractive woman in her mid-thirties. Posessed with a medium dose of vanity, she was nonetheless extremely self-conscious during intimate sessions with men. Specifically she was strongly embarrassed about her labia, and was convinced that the excessive folds and wrinkles were most unattractive.
After her last date had gone very badly, Sheila finally overcame her shyness enough to talk to an understanding doctor. She explained her concerns, so he examined her. "Yes, I see what you mean," he said thoughtfully. "But this certainly isn't something we can't take care of fairly easily. Some simple surgery and we can trim off all that excessive skin and tidy things up."
Sheila agrees to the surgery but only under one strong stipulation. "Nobody must know about this, doctor. I mean NOBODY. If ANYbody ever found out about this operation, I would just DIE of embarrassment."
"Sheila, I understand your concern, but your fears are unnecessary. As a doctor I am bound by the strictest codes of confidentiality. Trust me, nobody will find out about this," he said earnestly.
The day of the operation comes and Sheila arrives at the appointed time. "Doctor, please remember. Nobody," she warns. The doctor nods reassuringly and begins the anesthesia. The surgery takes place without incident.
When Sheila wakes up in her hospital bed she sees three large bouquets of flowers around her room. Shortly after the doctor comes into Sheila's room only to find her in tears.
"Sheila, what's the matter? The surgery was a complete success."
"Oh doctor!" she waled. "I TOLD you specifially not to tell anybody!!"
"Relax," said the doctor soothingly. "I haven't told a soul!"
"Then who are all these flowers from?!" she said, bursting into new tears.
"Oh so THAT's what's bothering you," he laughed. "Well I'll tell you. This first bouquet is from the nursing staff. You were such a wonderful patient they wanted to do something nice for you!"
"Oh, okay." Sheila sniffed. "But what about the others?"
"Well, this second bouquet is from me," said the doctor with a kind smile. "Hey, I knew this was very difficult for you, even talking about this, but you had the courage to actually go through with the operation. The flowers were the least I could do."
Sheila was touched and felt much better. "What about this third bouquet?" she asked.
"Oh that's from the man up in room 340. He wanted to thank you for his new set of ears!"
😱
Sheila was an attractive woman in her mid-thirties. Posessed with a medium dose of vanity, she was nonetheless extremely self-conscious during intimate sessions with men. Specifically she was strongly embarrassed about her labia, and was convinced that the excessive folds and wrinkles were most unattractive.
After her last date had gone very badly, Sheila finally overcame her shyness enough to talk to an understanding doctor. She explained her concerns, so he examined her. "Yes, I see what you mean," he said thoughtfully. "But this certainly isn't something we can't take care of fairly easily. Some simple surgery and we can trim off all that excessive skin and tidy things up."
Sheila agrees to the surgery but only under one strong stipulation. "Nobody must know about this, doctor. I mean NOBODY. If ANYbody ever found out about this operation, I would just DIE of embarrassment."
"Sheila, I understand your concern, but your fears are unnecessary. As a doctor I am bound by the strictest codes of confidentiality. Trust me, nobody will find out about this," he said earnestly.
The day of the operation comes and Sheila arrives at the appointed time. "Doctor, please remember. Nobody," she warns. The doctor nods reassuringly and begins the anesthesia. The surgery takes place without incident.
When Sheila wakes up in her hospital bed she sees three large bouquets of flowers around her room. Shortly after the doctor comes into Sheila's room only to find her in tears.
"Sheila, what's the matter? The surgery was a complete success."
"Oh doctor!" she waled. "I TOLD you specifially not to tell anybody!!"
"Relax," said the doctor soothingly. "I haven't told a soul!"
"Then who are all these flowers from?!" she said, bursting into new tears.
"Oh so THAT's what's bothering you," he laughed. "Well I'll tell you. This first bouquet is from the nursing staff. You were such a wonderful patient they wanted to do something nice for you!"
"Oh, okay." Sheila sniffed. "But what about the others?"
"Well, this second bouquet is from me," said the doctor with a kind smile. "Hey, I knew this was very difficult for you, even talking about this, but you had the courage to actually go through with the operation. The flowers were the least I could do."
Sheila was touched and felt much better. "What about this third bouquet?" she asked.
"Oh that's from the man up in room 340. He wanted to thank you for his new set of ears!"
😱
