Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

[goddess_nemesis]

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!

 

[bellystrokes]

When I saw the title, I knew I was in for a fun ride. This didn't let me down. Thanks.

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny, especially number 10. 😀

 

[TKpervert]

I always wondered what a dog was thinking when he stared at me... 😀

 

[Eriksmasque]

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!

LOL. * dies laughing* My favorite is # 10

 

[Illtcklu]

Herbie thanks you for letting his voice be heard on the forum

 

[bellystrokes]

Herbie thanks you for letting his voice be heard on the forum

I respect Herbie---he never sold out.

 

[Illtcklu]

I respect Herbie---he never sold out.

He's no loaner owner!

 

[bellystrokes]

He's no loaner owner!

But can he sniff!

 

[Illtcklu]

But can he sniff!

...........and lick and bite and bark,................ he hasn't quite figured out how to stay inside when I go around to the basement, somehow he always finds a way to me!

 

[ChosenofMystra]

LOL very funny! 😀

 

[Tick L]

Lol, that was great. Thanks for posting. 😀