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Duck Hunting......

Illtcklu

3rd Level Blue Feather
Joined
Dec 5, 2005
Messages
5,535
Points
0
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN?

ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION


REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly
payments of $560.00).

He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's
mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two
guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the
new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural looking open
water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to
float on.

Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck,
is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger
can produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite
with a short 40 second-fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid
they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting
the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on
the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse;
then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far
away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the
NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???

Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for
RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it:
the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs
the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it
hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins
in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and
holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheer ed on by
his master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The
shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a
Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then
continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing,
becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two
geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER
the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on
the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite
under the truck and takes off after his master.

Then " "" "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" "" ! ! ! !

The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake,
leaving the two idiots standing there with "I can't believe this
just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by
illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he
still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

The dog is okay. .doing fine. And you thought Rednecks lived in the
South.........
 
..........BTW....Does anyone want to go duck hunting?? I just got a new truck!!!!!
 
bellystrokes said:
Can I borrow it? Oh and ignore the can of red house paint.
Well........... someone DID change the tires on it! (took the spare too) Where is there a five wheeled truck?????
 
Illtcklu said:
Well........... someone DID change the tires on it! (took the spare too) Where is there a five wheeled truck?????

hehehe, if you have to ask, you don't deserve to know.
 
bellystrokes said:
hehehe, if you have to ask, you don't deserve to know.
National Guard's trying to draft me........... they need someone destructive to send to Iraq. :idunno:
 
Illtcklu said:
National Guard's trying to draft me........... they need someone destructive to send to Iraq. :idunno:


Well peace can only be won with the total destruction of piano hammers (and a few tree houses)
 
sole seeker said:
This was the funniest thing I've read all week!

Hillarious tale, ITU
My uncle sent the orginal e-mail, so on his behalf I thank you.
 
Illtcklu said:
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN?

ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION


REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly
payments of $560.00).

He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's
mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two
guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the
new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural looking open
water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to
float on.

Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck,
is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger
can produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite
with a short 40 second-fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid
they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting
the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on
the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse;
then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far
away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the
NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???

Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for
RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it:
the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs
the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it
hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins
in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and
holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheer ed on by
his master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The
shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a
Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then
continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing,
becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two
geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER
the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on
the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite
under the truck and takes off after his master.

Then " "" "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" "" ! ! ! !

The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake,
leaving the two idiots standing there with "I can't believe this
just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by
illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he
still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

The dog is okay. .doing fine. And you thought Rednecks lived in the
South.........
You mean to tell me I spent over a minute reading this, making sure I understood and remembered each part... and then the punchline is one sentence that has nothing to do with the rest of the joke? 🙄

Illtckluuuuuu!

You doofus. 😛 :2poke:

However, this joke is actually pretty darn hillairious. Although if you'd inserted something about riding horses or Polish sausages, it would have been even better. :jester:
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
You mean to tell me I spent over a minute reading this, making sure I understood and remembered each part... and then the punchline is one sentence that has nothing to do with the rest of the joke? 🙄

Illtckluuuuuu!

You doofus. 😛 :2poke:

However, this joke is actually pretty darn hillairious. Although if you'd inserted something about riding horses or Polish sausages, it would have been even better. :jester:
Genitals, genitals!!!!(not to be confused with any non-Jewish people)



Quit obessing over my gentiles!
 
Illtcklu said:
Genitals, genitals!!!!(not to be confused with any non-Jewish people)



Quit obessing over my gentiles!
I'm not obsessing over your genitals. Blimey, don't flatter yourself. 🙄 😛
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
I'm not obsessing over your genitals. Blimey, don't flatter yourself. 🙄 😛
You got -ah -I mean BROUGHT it up!!!! Not me!!!! :firedevil :redheart:
 
Illtcklu said:
That's all it takes. Men like breasts remember?
Haha. I thought they liked long hair Ill? 😛

Long hair covering breasts? No? Oh OK, suit yourself.
bleh.gif


*wanders off*
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
Haha. I thought they liked long hair Ill? 😛

Long hair covering breasts? No? Oh OK, suit yourself.
bleh.gif


*wanders off*
But yours is tied up! :wowzer:



BTW. Do you work in a tropical fish store in Liverpool?
 
Illtcklu said:
But yours is tied up! :wowzer:
*checks mirror* Yes, yes it is.

But it won't be permantly.

It's not like I fixed it in place with cement. :jester: :wow:

HT likes Master's hair. *twirls your curls* :wub:
happyness.png
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
*checks mirror* Yes, yes it is.

But it won't be permantly.

It's not like I fixed it in place with cement. :jester: :wow:

HT likes Master's hair. *twirls your curls* :wub:
happyness.png
I knew it. You do work in a tropical fish store in Liverpool!


Freak.
 
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