Dumbest thing you have ever been asked at work

[some1somewhere]

dumbest thing you have ever been asked at work.


"Do you have to buy film for the camera phone?"

Anyone else?

 

[Horatio]

"Where is there a lake on a hill?"

--when I was selling water skis.

 

[Newcastle Uni]

why couldn't you have a lake on a hill??

try 'udaipur' in google

 

[toyou444]

"Did you get that fax I forgot to send you?"

~ toyou

 

[The Sean Man]

Back in high school, I worked at a Drive-In, where I often encountered this question.....



"When does the movie start?"


"Ummm....when it gets dark"


🙄

 

[The Pianist]

I used to work at a supermarket as a shelf packer so I regulary got asked questions about where XYZ was in the store. Not a stupid question in itself... but I frequently came across customers that were quite frustrated because this they had spent quite a while searching for this particular item and then to answer their question I often had to point to the self directly behind them, or even hand them the object that I was filling at the time. (some people must be blind)

The other one was customers that demanded me to find something, or get it from out the back because item XYZ was definately there last time they came to the store. Now supermarkets change their selections relatively regulary... but there were a number of occasions when I would ask a supervisor about item XYZ and they'd be able to tell me the number of years it must be since that customer last came here.

 

[unit5610]

We used to get asked by management, "What is your goal?"
I always wanted to say "To make more money, you idiot!"

 

[the_Baron]

where do U see yourself in 5 years?

somewhere else!!!

and the simple...do U work here?

 

[BellaRisa]

I run my own daycare, and not too long ago a dad called me (on SUNDAY GRRR ) to tell me that his two yr old had hurt his little head and had a pretty big bump on his forehead. His child didn't want an icepack used, so he wanted to know if he could wait until the child fell asleep and then place ice on the bump during the night. I asked him politely to leave his window open that night so I could sneak in and put ice on HIS head. He realized why his suggestion was kinda off.

Bella

 

[Ignatz]

I was a disc jockey for 18 years and I can't tell you how many phone calls I've gotten during my shift which went like this:
Caller: Hey, I want you to play that new song for me and my girl.
Me: Which song is that, my man?
Caller: Aw s#*t, I can't think of the name of it, but you play it all the time.
Me: Who sings it?
Caller: That dude...what's his name...(off)HEY, BABE, WHO SINGS THAT SONG? (pause) She don't know either.
Me: Do you remember any of the words?
Caller: (Haw haw)...no.
Me: Can you hum a little bit of it?
Caller: F@#k no, I ain't gonna hum it! Are you gonna play it or not?
Me: Coming right up! Thanks for listening to Rock 98!

Sometimes, they'd actually call back later and thank you for playing it.

 

[sugarmouse]

i work as a debt collector..i took a paymnt by credit card off a guy over the phone and he asked me did i need his PIN number..so i could go and get the money from his bank??WTF lol
i shoulda said yes..and told me send his card to my addres...lol

 

[Ray<3tiklishft]

As A kid I worked in a grocery store and a nice looking older lady (mid 30's)asked me, "Where are your nuts?" 🙄

 

[bratgirl365]

I'm a waitress....on parties of 8 or more we add (Gratuity). Well....this idiot that read his bill said to me.....was is (GRATINUITY) no one ate that.
I had to explain that it wasn't a dish it was his tip! I love working with the public.

 

[steph]

former grocery clerk here too!

My favorite manager started his career with the store as a bagboy in his teens. His first suspension (he liked to cause trouble, like me) came after an older lady asked him "Do you have cotton balls?" He said, "What the hell do I look like, the Easter bunny?" 😛

My funny/dumb customer checker story was when this pompous rich a-hole in his young 20s pulled up, screeching his Porche to a halt, and got out, entering the store. Always hard to impress, I ignored him completely. After about 15 minutes he walked up to me, I was the only nite checker up front. He glared at me, huffed and said, "Doesn't anybody around here know what LOX is?? Some idiot just sent me into the electrical aisle!" (locks.) Sneering back at him with an equally disgusted look I said, "It's fish~try the frozen deli aisle~DER! Where are you from anyway?"
(It was obvious he didn't belong in that neighborhood, which was a little rough.) So he snottily says "Stanford Ranch." I rolled my eyes and said, "Isn't that a HOME FOR BOYS?" (I was new to the area and didn't know Stanford Ranch was an upscale community in a town nearby~I had confused it with Stanford Home for Boys) but it didn't matter, by then my co-workers were howling at the whole thing. He knew they were laughing at him at stomped off for his lox, ticked that some wise ass checker chick had yanked him off his pedestal and kicked his ass without lifting a finger....
XOXO

As A kid I worked in a grocery store and a nice looking older lady (mid 30's)asked me, "Where are your nuts?" 🙄

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

TMF ain't work, but...

...this's probably a stupid question, anyway:

I've been wondering for the longest time why Steph is the only member of this forum who's quotes from others are always on the bottom of her message rather than the top, like everyone elses?

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Otherwise, I honestly can't think of a particularly idiotic question posed to me at work recently. And I work in retail among the general public. In general, the public really aren't that stupid, they just tend to elect the really stupid. 😛

 

[tickledorange]

Engineering student:"How do I turn on the computer?"
Me: "Just move the mouse."
Engineering student: "How do I do that?"

 

[DonnieBrasco]

Neighborhood kid

Hired the kid next door to mow lawn as his mother conveyed that he wasn't very well liked in the neighborhood. I offered him 60 dollars to mow the front and back yard on saturday. He made it over about ten am on a beautiful day. I showed him what I wanted, fired up the mower, and went inside! Three minutes later lawn mower stops,knock at my door-Kid is breathing heavy,wiping his eyes and sobbing. I said "what happened?" he "I quit Im going home" I said "what?" he said I got "SWEAT in my EYES!!"

Db

 

[Ignatz]

...this's probably a stupid question, anyway:

I've been wondering for the longest time why Steph is the only member of this forum who's quotes from others are always on the bottom of her message rather than the top, like everyone elses?

I assume she's just one of those chicks who likes to be on top...of things.

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Shit

I'd have mowed the lawn with clippers for $60 when I was a kid!

...I'm referring to DonnieBrasco's post above, BTW. Not Ignatz's.

There's no proper reply to Ignatz's thoughts other than wistful contemplations and sweet dreams...

 

[Ronley]

well, not from work, but close enough:

"My computer won't turn on, is there something wrong with it?"

 

[unit5610]

I'd have mowed the lawn with clippers for $60 when I was a kid!

Hell, I'd do it now!

 

[steph]

Cuz I'm very special Doc... 😛
XOXO

...this's probably a stupid question, anyway:

I've been wondering for the longest time why Steph is the only member of this forum who's quotes from others are always on the bottom of her message rather than the top, like everyone elses?

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

[steph]

OK Ig~who ratted me out?

I assume she's just one of those chicks who likes to be on top...of things.

 

[desdemona]

Well...off the top of my head...

There was the teenage jerk who's puppy found his stash of buds...and he wondered why dogs couldn't eat weed if people can eat it in brownies...
I had to explain to the twerp that there was a considerable size difference between his puny 120# a$$ and the puppy's 10# (Physics isn't my strong suit either, but, Whoa!)

Then there was the royal jerk who brought his intact male labrador in for his vaccines. He proceeded to ask the assistant a lot of inappropriate reproductive questions. Then he had to show how macho he was by lifting the dog onto the table (after I asked him not to since I'm quite short and can't examine a 100# lab that's taller than I am at that height!!). Then he had to pin the dog down in a lying position (so I could at least stand on my toes to look in the dog's ears). Then he asked me the same questions he'd asked the assistant...like "why does my dog hump things? why does he lick his penis and his balls? why does he have a discharge down there?" Now, I normally don't mind people who ask tactfully about such things. But he said it with such a leer...and he'd already pissed me off with his machismo, so I looked at him and smiled sweetly and said "Neuter him and you won't have to worry about it." Then I walked out of the room...

One of the other doctors was faced with this dilemma: A woman who had brought her dog in for licking its privates. When she tried to pinpoint where exactly the female dog was licking, the woman said, you know, her "pee pee."
After examining the dog, my co-worker explained that the dog had a vaginal infection and her vulva was irritated. The woman proceeded to ask "what's that?" Now my friend was stumped...how do you explain to a woman if she does not know the anatomy of herself well enough to know what is where???
She literally drew a diagram outlining what she was talking about...I don't know how she did it with a straight face.

 

[sole seeker]

We used to get asked by management, "What is your goal?"
I always wanted to say "To make more money, you idiot!"

One of the ones I hate most at evaluation time:
What can you do better? or What do you most need to improve upon?

I tell them I need to slow down. Sometimes when I multi-task I work so fast that I become invisible!
Well, I don't actually say that... but I'd like to.

Do you have cotton balls?

- LAMO! No ma'am, brass!