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Elephant Penis

Illtcklu

3rd Level Blue Feather
Joined
Dec 5, 2005
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There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."

The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. "So what's the good news?" he asks.

The doctor says: "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"

The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it."

So the doctor performs the operation. A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful. Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.

Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.

"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?"

Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably ... but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!"
 
An all-time classic I usually tell when swapping jokes. 😉 I got it from Buddy Hacket.

Here's another elephant joke he told:

Did you hear about the wallet made from an elephant foreskin?
When you rub it, it turns into a suitcase. :blaugh:
 
Illtcklu said:
Buddy Hackett? I've never heard Buddy Hackett tell it.
I've never heard of Buddy Hackett, period.

Haha... I said "period" instead of "full stop"... I'm so Americanised. 😀



































(Wait... is that a good thing?) 😛
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
I've never heard of Buddy Hackett, period.

Haha... I said "period" instead of "full stop"... I'm so Americanised. 😀
]
I thought you meant that time of the month. Dopey me.
 
Illtcklu said:
I thought you meant that time of the month. Dopey me.
No that's what I'm supposed to think.

Omg, I'm turning American and you're turning British! :yowzer:

Everything's upside down!

*panicks*

Next thing I know, you'll be smoking cigars, wearing bowler hats, and greeting people with "Hello old chap!" 🙄

*looks at siggy*

O dear. There really is no going back now. It won't be long before I open my wardrobe to find an "I Love NY" T-shirt. :wowzer:

Be brave HT. *takes deep breaths* :wow:
 
sole seeker said:
An all-time classic I usually tell when swapping jokes. 😉 I got it from Buddy Hacket.

Here's another elephant joke he told:

Did you hear about the wallet made from an elephant foreskin?
When you rub it, it turns into a suitcase. :blaugh:

i don't get it...
 
isabeau said:
i don't get it...
When you rub a penis, it grows. (At least that's what I've heard. :angel: ) Therefore the foreskin expands with it. The wallet was made out of an elephant's foreskin, therefore when it was rubbed, it expanded... into a suitcase.

Get it now? 🙂

~X~X~
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
When you rub a penis, it grows. (At least that's what I've heard. :angel: ) Therefore the foreskin expands with it. The wallet was made out of an elephant's foreskin, therefore when it was rubbed, it expanded... into a suitcase.

Get it now? 🙂

~X~X~
"At least that's what I've heard"..............This is the funniest part of the whole thread!
 
kered said:
"At least that's what I've heard"..............This is the funniest part of the whole thread!
Well I'm glad I could provide you with some early morning amusement. 🙄 😛
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
When you rub a penis, it grows. (At least that's what I've heard. :angel: ) Therefore the foreskin expands with it. The wallet was made out of an elephant's foreskin, therefore when it was rubbed, it expanded... into a suitcase.

Get it now? 🙂

~X~X~


thanks love...sighs...
 
kered said:
"At least that's what I've heard"..............This is the funniest part of the whole thread!
Heard?! Like an elephant herd??? Way to keep it on topic HT!!!!





ps What else have you "heard"?
 
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