AffectionateDan
Verified
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Messages
- 8,115
- Points
- 36
Sadira oughta get a giggle outta these... 😉
------------------------------------------
>> Subject: Emergency Room Stories
>>
>> TRIPS TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM...
>>
>>
>> FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
>> hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under
>> her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote
>> control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
>>
>> PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
>> lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat
>> in her privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first
>> conclusion I would have drawn I don't think). After an examination of
>> his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside
>> her after a recent hysterectomy.
>>
>> PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a
>> stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were
>> fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of
>> pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The
>> concrete then hardened (no s%^t!), causing constipation and pain.
>> Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum
>> was removed along with a ping pong ball.
>> (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)
>>
>> BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
>> of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said
>> that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A
>> nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success.
>> Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have
>> his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the
>> membrane of his cornea.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
>> emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
>> hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
>> eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening
>> for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under
>> the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While
>> in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down
>> on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
>> desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until
>> she let go. And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
>>
>>
------------------------------------------
>> Subject: Emergency Room Stories
>>
>> TRIPS TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM...
>>
>>
>> FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
>> hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under
>> her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote
>> control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
>>
>> PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
>> lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat
>> in her privates..." and it bit him during sex (not the first
>> conclusion I would have drawn I don't think). After an examination of
>> his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside
>> her after a recent hysterectomy.
>>
>> PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a
>> stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were
>> fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of
>> pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The
>> concrete then hardened (no s%^t!), causing constipation and pain.
>> Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum
>> was removed along with a ping pong ball.
>> (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)
>>
>> BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
>> of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said
>> that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A
>> nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success.
>> Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have
>> his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the
>> membrane of his cornea.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
>> emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
>> hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
>> eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening
>> for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under
>> the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While
>> in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down
>> on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and
>> desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until
>> she let go. And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!
>>
>>
