Family gets kicked off plane because of their autistic daughter

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I first heard about this story this past Sunday. An autistic 15 year old girl was traveling on a plane with her parents back from Walt Disney World to Oregon. The daughter got upset and started crying because she wanted hot food instead of cold. So her mother persuaded the flight attendant to get her food from first class & then she calmed down. According to the mother, the next thing she knew the pilot announced he was making an emergency landing because he felt Juliette was being "disruptive". In the meanwhile, her Mom and rightfully so, is suing United Airlines. I wish her good luck. Here is a link to the story if you want to know more, it's http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ble-flying-autistic-teenager-wanted-food.html.


I must say, I am tired of hearing stories like this about intolerance and discrimination of people who are on the Autism Spectrum. For those who don't know, I have a mild form of Autism called Asperger's Syndrome. My parents and I have always known there was something different about but even taking me to various doctor's in the early seventies but I didn't get a proper diagnosis. Growing up was very hard for me because I got teased & bullied sometimes because the other kids knew there was something different about me. So I feel bullying and teasing are forms of discrimination. I have trouble reading body language and facial expressions even though I have taken social skills classes. People who are not autistic are sometimes called neurotypicals. Reading body language for me is like learning a foreign language.

Look forward to your replies.

 

[rdhd]

I hear ya Girl - my daughter (in her late 20's now) is in the spectrum, PDD-NOS (for those who want to know - pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified.....and yes, that's the name of it) to be specific. She didn't have many problems growing up, but once she got to the adult stage, things got much more difficult. She can still act as a child in certain situations, and it doesn't matter where it is. Like you, she also can't read body language and facial expressions. Among the other oddities associated with the disorder that "normal" people don't understand. We've got a ways to go to get the ASD people accepted for who/what they are.

 

[milagros317]

An emergency landing should only me made in case of emergency. A 15-year-old who cries and then calms down is far from an emergency IMHO.
The airlines are getting nastier every year.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

This is why I feel that I should've gone into acting because at least I would be playing someone else at least for a while. That's because I'd probably like playing my character than being myself .

 

[Angel_2]

Where is the compassion and understanding how is this young girl any different then a baby who cries and yells on a plane? I hope the mother wins her case and wins big. What happened to that family was no fault of the young girls the pilot should be ashamed of himself for acting in such a rude and unprofessional manner.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I had a long talk with my therapist today and she explained to me that it would be very likely that a neurotypical male would reject me when going on a date with them. This has certainly been true in the past and she said it would continue . She did look up Asperger dating websites online and I will begin checking them out. I am a high functioning person and I even asked my therapist if hypothetically if a guy was at a bar and was talking to me and a lady with a mental illness, which one would he like more. She said he would probably pick neither but I think he might pick the lady with the mental illness because their brain might seem more "normal".


I have heard of people dating and even marrying people with physical disabilities & I think that some sacrifice has to take place. I guess when it comes to mental illness or mental handicap, it makes a difference for some reason. I know it's getting better for autistic people but we have a long way to go to become a more Autistic friendly world.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I also want to mention that my parents don't or won't accept me having Asperger's Syndrome. They think it's an excuse when it's a mental handicap. I mean don't get me wrong, it's not an excuse for all my faults but for most.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Want to mention that in high school I was mostly a loner, so I felt a lot like Carrie White did in Stephen King's Carrie. Sometimes I still feel a lot like that to this day & probably for the rest of my life .

 

[Nedstacey2]

An autistic 15 year old girl was traveling on a plane with her parents back from Walt Disney World to Oregon. The daughter got upset and started crying because she wanted hot food instead of cold. So her mother persuaded the flight attendant to get her food from first class & then she calmed down. According to the mother, the next thing she knew the pilot announced he was making an emergency landing because he felt Juliette was being "disruptive". In the meanwhile, her Mom and rightfully so, is suing United Airlines. I wish her good luck. Here is a link to the story if you want to know more, it's http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ble-flying-autistic-teenager-wanted-food.html.

Airlines do have the right of "permissive refusal" and the pilot in command, i.e., in most circumstances the captain, has the authority to act to ensure the safety of the airplane, the passengers and the crew. Still, from the information in that news report it's not clear at all what kind of real threat the presence on the flight of that teenager Juliette Forbes was posing; a telling quote from the article is Forbes' mother having "requested the food so that her 15-year-old didn't become upset and possibly [emphasis added] scratch someone," yet apparently she never got to the point of being violent. So the grounds under which the whole family was taken off the airplane seem flimsy and may indeed have had a lot to do with simple prejudice over Forbes' condition.

how is this young girl any different then a baby who cries and yells on a plane?

I would imagine because even if all Forbes did was yell and cry, since she's an ambulatory 15-year-old there was the possibility that she might progress to harming others or herself, and what the mother told the crew as cited above not only supported that but actually may have implanted the fear in the crew, concerns that were evidently relayed to the captain.

Growing up was very hard for me because I got teased & bullied sometimes because the other kids knew there was something different about me.

Want to mention that in high school I was mostly a loner, so I felt a lot like Carrie White did in Stephen King's Carrie. Sometimes I still feel a lot like that to this day & probably for the rest of my life .

Sadly, I can relate and so can many others. Oh, the revenge fantasies and craving for super powers I've had, and though I try not to for the sake of my own mental health, thinking back on those tough times nearly 40 years ago still colors my world.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Although I do feel like that sometimes, since I was diagnosed at 34, it has really helped me a lot in feeling that all those years of being mostly misunderstood by people wasn't my fault. Also, when someone, such as myself, still struggle with reading body language, it's hard to have that difficulty when most people take it for granted.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

I read an article about this, and it said that Juliette was howling for about an hour. Granted, that's not much different than screaming babies and children on a plane. However, I think the problem was when the mother demanded the first class food and said that her daughter might scratch someone if they didn't get what they requested. I think it was a lack of planning on the mother's part. I will be surprised if they are awarded anything in court. As a former airline employee, I can tell you that threatening the crew, no matter how vaguely, will never end well, no matter what your condition might be. Flight attendants are not servants, they are there to ensure safety. They pass out drinks when they can. I've always thought airlines were pretty accommodating of people with disabilities. It's the threat to the crew that probably caused the emergency landing.

 

[Nedstacey2]

As a former airline employee, I can tell you that threatening the crew, no matter how vaguely, will never end well, no matter what your condition might be. Flight attendants are not servants, they are there to ensure safety . . . . It's the threat to the crew that probably caused the emergency landing.

Thanks for that insight. True, airline travel has gotten more stressful in recent years for everyone involved, and now we hear all the time about incidents of unruly and abusive passengers, not always besotted, who often cause entire flights to be diverted. Such reports may just seem more frequent in this age of social media, but no doubt airline crews are a little more on edge these days--and the threats of terrorism must also be in the back of their minds--so perhaps if we cannot outright excuse them maybe we should try to understand what some would call their overreaction, others precaution.

 

[a7hgsir4h3jk]

I had a long talk with my therapist today and she explained to me that it would be very likely that a neurotypical male would reject me when going on a date with them. This has certainly been true in the past and she said it would continue . She did look up Asperger dating websites online and I will begin checking them out. I am a high functioning person and I even asked my therapist if hypothetically if a guy was at a bar and was talking to me and a lady with a mental illness, which one would he like more. She said he would probably pick neither but I think he might pick the lady with the mental illness because their brain might seem more "normal".

That's... kind of harsh. Very harsh, actually.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

That's... kind of harsh. Very harsh, actually.

Well I agree with you to a point. I actually like my therapist. Unfortunately, based on past dating experiences what she said seems to be true. You see before I was diagnosed, I would go on dates and 9 times out of 10, I wouldn't get a call back from the guy. I never really understood why until I was diagnosed. Now, it may not have worked out for other reasons but most of the time it was probably because of the way I acted. You see, the easiest way to tell if someone is on the Autism Spectrum is based on behavior. I think she's just being realistic and sometimes that sucks .


To your response Bright Eyes, since her daughter was upset for that long, her Mom should've said something immediately. Also, forgive me if I am repeating myself, according to the Mom, the family has flown many times before & have never been treated this way until this particular flight. If you think about it, it makes United Airlines look bad and they also going to lose this whole family as customers. I do agree that flying has been way more stressful than it used before 9/11.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Here's 10 Positive Traits for having Asperger Syndrome

I know that when it comes to mental handicaps, most times people focus more on their weaknesses instead of their strengths. Well here's a list of at least 10 good traits that Aspie people have .Here they are in no particular order. I cut and copied this info. from a website.


“Tired of hearing media talk of all the supposed ‘difficulties’ associated with Asperger’s (Autism)? Just like everyone else, Aspies (Autistics) have their faults and fluencies, so let’s not hold back in celebrating some of the many wonderful Aspie traits that even others find so refreshing.

1. Aspies Lie Less
Ever noticed how much more often others tell little white lies (and some biggies) than the more plain-speaking people with Asperger’s? For Aspies, the truth tends to be just that – the truth, unvarnished. A kind word or compliment from an Aspie should hold greater value simply because it is so often profoundly meant.

2. Aspies Live in the Moment
How often do typical folk fail to notice what’s in front of their eyes because they’re distracted by social cues or random chit-chat? Aspies are more truly available to the sensory inputs that surround them. So many have achieved the ideal of always being mindful of their environment.

3. Aspies Seldom Judge Others
Who’s fatter? Richer? Smarter? For Aspies, such distinctions hold much less importance than they do for typical people. In fact, Aspies often ‘see through’ such surface appearances to discover the real person.

4. Aspies are Passionate
Of course, not all Aspies are alike, but many are truly passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many ‘typical people can proudly say the same? We may think they are not listening sometimes… so where exactly did they learn all they know? Makes you wonder? Just how deeply are they reading your book or watching the documentary you made?

5. Aspies are Not Tied to Social Expectations
If you’ve ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in, you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for Aspies, social expectations can be honestly… irrelevant. What matters is what they really like, what really interests them, and the passion they associate with those pursuits — not keeping up with the Joneses.

6. Aspies have Good Memories
How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of colours, names, and other details? Aspies are often much more ‘attuned’ to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kinds of often critical details.

7. Aspies are Less Materialistic
Of course – this is not universally true — but in general Aspies are not only less concerned about outward appearances than their typical peers, but as a result worry so much less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive but unimportant externals than the bulk of the populace might.

8. Aspies Play Fewer Head Games
Who was that woman, and why were you looking at her? I know I told you I didn’t mind if you went out, but why did you believe me? Most Aspies don’t play games like these – even assuming wrongly that you don’t or won’t either! It’s a refreshing and wonderful change from the emotional roller-coaster that can harm many typical relationships.

9. Aspies have Fewer Hidden Agendas
Most of the time, if an Aspie tells you what he/she wants – they are telling you what they want. Period. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you’re reading between the lines! They do have their agenda, but it tends not to be hidden anywhere near as much as most others, certainly seldom as well hidden if anything else.

10. Aspies Open New Doors for Neurotypicals
For some non-Aspies (‘neurotypicals’ or NT’s), having an Aspie in our lives has had a profoundly positive impact on the breadth and quality of our perceptions, our beliefs, our hopes and expectations. For instance, the ability to focus for a time on what concretely “is” rather than constantly musing on what “should” or “could be”.


This list of positives was shared by a member in group that I belong too. I loved it so much I thought it was well worth sharing it with the world. Thank you J.G.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

To your response Bright Eyes, since her daughter was upset for that long, her Mom should've said something immediately. Also, forgive me if I am repeating myself, according to the Mom, the family has flown many times before & have never been treated this way until this particular flight. If you think about it, it makes United Airlines look bad and they also going to lose this whole family as customers. I do agree that flying has been way more stressful than it used before 9/11.

They may have flown before, but maybe they prepared better in the past. Maybe this was the first long-haul flight they took. Maybe
they haven't flown since Juliette was much younger and wasn't seen as a threat. This could have easily happened on any airline. It's
all at the captain's discretion. I don't think it reflects in any way on United Airlines. Losing one family as a customer will have zero
effect on their revenue streams. Diverting a plane to a different airport is an expensive endeavor, and isn't taken lightly. United likely
had to compensate all of the other passengers for enduring the huge inconvenience and significant delay. Plus they had to pay landing
fees at an additional airport. I'm positive that the decision was not made lightly.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I agree that losing one family as a customer isn't going to lose them a lot of money. However, if they speak negatively about this airline to enough other family and friends, they might lose more customers or potential customers than they think. I still think the whole incident, whatever the outcome from the lawsuit, makes them look bad.


All I can say at this point is that I wish the Mom good luck in her lawsuit .

 

[kopfhorer]

I had a long talk with my therapist today and she explained to me that it would be very likely that a neurotypical male would reject me when going on a date with them. This has certainly been true in the past and she said it would continue . ...

Any man worth your time will accept you as you are. (I understand there are such people out there).

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Thanks for your support kopfhorer .

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

Devil's advocate time.

I don't believe it was cut-and-dry wrong of the airline to remove the family, for 2 reasons.

1: This bit suggests the captain may have believed his passengers may come into harm's way: "Dr Beegle, who heads up an anti-poverty organization, is good at anticipating her daughter's moods and had requested the food so that her 15-year-old didn't become upset and possibly scratch someone."

Yes, the staff may have been negligent to not pass the message of the situation being resolved up to the captain. If that information didn't reach the captain, and he made a decision without full information. That aspect of the situation would be reminiscent of the blind spot illustrated in the "Smarties test" for theory of mind.

2: As someone on the spectrum, you probably appreciate that unwanted noise can be pretty disturbing, especially in enclosed spaces from which you can't escape. Being a trapped with someone who is out of control sucks. The noise would also be worse for e.g. another aspie or person with ASD nearby, as they tend to have more trouble filtering sensory stimuli than neurotypical people.

I must say, I am tired of hearing stories like this about intolerance and discrimination of people who are on the Autism Spectrum.

It's also hard to take it as mere discrimination. Someone was posing an actual disturbance and potential (albeit minor) physical threat to passengers on the plane. It's not just, "That girl is different, get her off the plane!"

I agree that losing one family as a customer isn't going to lose them a lot of money. However, if they speak negatively about this airline to enough other family and friends, they might lose more customers or potential customers than they think. I still think the whole incident, whatever the outcome from the lawsuit, makes them look bad.

If the girl was out of control on the plane and the airline did nothing about it, the various customers around her would be in a position to leave justified negative feedback.

The airline was acting to minimize losses.

Even if the daughter's hot food situation was under control, the experience may have left staff suspecting that other, petty tantrum-triggers were imminent.



The thing I'm personally curious about is the threshold for fit severity that gets someone['s family] kicked off a plane.