Fave Family Guy Quotes!

[-Kunoke-]

Well it's about time I made a thread. Anyway, I thought this would be a cool addition. Since I know at least a few other people like Family Guy here, there's got to be some favorite quotes!

Here's some of mine (Top 5):

1.
"Peter: Heh, I wonder what Scooby and the gang are up to.
[Scooby-Doo theme plays]
Announcer: We now return to The Scooby-Doo Murder Files.
Fred: Gee whiz, gang. Looks like the killer gutted the victim, strangled him with his own intestines and then dumped the body in the river.
Velma: Jinkies! What a mystery!
Scooby-Doo: [jumps on Shaggy's arms] Arroo!
Fred: You're right Scoob, we're dealing with one sick son of a bitch!"

2.
"[Cleveland considers killing Quagmire with a baseball bat, while Meg, Chris, Stewie, Lois, and Emperor Palpatine watch]
Emperor Palpatine: Goooood... Let the hate flow through you....
[Lois pushes him to the ground and kicks him]
Lois Griffin: You're not helping!"

3.
"Smurf #1: Yo, Smurf, that party last night was freakin', Smurf!
Smurf #2: You bet your smurf it was!
Smurf #1: Hey, I saw you leaving with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Yeah. Right when we left the party, she started smurfin' me.
Smurf #2: Shut the smurf up! Right in the smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Oh, yeah.
Smurf #1: That's freakin' smurf!
Smurf #2: You betcha.
Smurf #1: Freakin' smurf."

4.
"Machine: You have 113 new messages
[Phone starts to beep]
Lois Griffin: Oh my!
Old Man: Uh, yeah, I was just wondering, uh... where the newspaper boy was.
[beep]
Old Man: Haven't seen the newspaper in a couple days. Wonderin' if ya ever gonna come back.
[beep]
Old Man: Guess who? Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here. Thinkin' about the muscly-armed paperboy. Wishin' he'd come by and bring me some good news!
[beep]
Old Man: Where are ya?
[beep]
Old Man: All right, you're starting to piss me off, you little piggly son of a bitch...Call me!"

5.
"Peter Griffin:[throwing his arms up in the air when Lois walks in the door]
[shouts] I didn't have my hand down my pants!
Lois Griffin: Good for you."

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Haven't we already had a thread like this? No matter, I'll start off with the one I usually start off with.

"Grrr! Sometimes I feel I married a child!"- Lois (to Peter

"Oh, so I'm a child, huh?! Well...you know what that makes you?! A pedophile! And I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert!"- Peter (storms out of the house)


.....


"Pic-ah-boo! I see you!"- Stewie (as he hunts down the cult leader)

"What?! Whats going on here?! What do you want!"- cult leader

"Freedom! What do you want?!"- Stewie

"I want to get the hell out of here!"- cult leader

"Oh, I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that. I'm afraid all we have left is lingering death!"- Stewie

 

[-Kunoke-]

Ah, I'm not sure if we had a Family Guy one, I don't believe we did...but there might have been one for the Simpsons. If I remember correctly.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

We've had one for the Simpsons. I posted in that not too long ago. But I'm pretty sure we've had a Family Guy one.

 

[nessonite1]

Family Guy is one of my favorite shows. After seeing it through so many times now few scened still make me roffle like this one did tonight.

Peter and brian are talking in a bar. There is a few seconds of silence while peter seems to ponder something. Suddenly he exclaims
"Oh my god! You can talk!"

XD!

 

[Dussicar]

Well, this isn't really much of a quote, but there was some type of family barbecue for the workers of the toy company that peter works at and one of the functio games was called "catch the greased up naked deaf guy."

They had the guy in a cage, wich they then released him while the people attending tried to, well, catch him.

The taunting song the deaf guy was singing made me laugh so hard that I couldn't breathe.

 

[Dragon321]

i got some:

* a staff meeting at Peter's toy company. peter brings out a new product:

Peter: i present: Mr. Cucumber head!

(plops a cucumber with eyes and a moustache upright on the table, people gasp)

Peter's Boss: Peter, that is extremely inappropriate!

Peter: but wait, there's more, lemme just put on his beanie and shoes

(i think you can imagine how this is looking: the shoes are light tan hemispheres. more people gasp and murmur, Peter's boss tries to shut him up)

Peter: but, but wait! he dances! (turns on the vibrate mode)

(company execs faint, everyone else in uproar.)

Peter's Boss: i am so terribly sorry, Peter does not represent the views of this branch: get out, peter! (peter leaves, Boss picks up the cucumber)... i will confiscate this. no calls!

 

[Big_Dogg85]

Here's what I got, from "One if by Clam, Two if by Sea":

(Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe enter the Clam's Head Pub, wearing historical war outfits and holding beer cans)

Joe: Minute men, present arms!!! Whole rumpins! (I think, I couldn't make it out)

(all): Boom Shaka-laka-laka, Boom Shaka-laka-laka, Boom Shaka-laka-laka

Joe: FIRE!!!

(the four pull back the tabs of their beers and fire at the British pubgoers)

 

[max cross]

Peter trying to feed the characters of magnum p.i. through the t.v.

Peter: "Uh Uh, none for you higgins, trying to steal tom sellecks food. no no, you had yours."

 

[-Kunoke-]

Clips

*revives*

I thought I'd bring this thread back for a second to show you all this collection of clips I found from season 4 from a video site. Some of these are pretty good.