first INCREDIBLY ticklish girlfriend....advice

[YouNeverKnow175]

I've been in several long term relationships, but my new girlfriend (8 months now) is the first really, really, incredibly ticklish girl I've been with. The past girls I've been in relationships with have all been pretty ticklish - but it would take a little while/the right technique to really get them laughing. Now, it's instantaneous, hysterical laughter, and I'm in heaven. She knows about my tickling fetish, and has embraced it - she lets me tickle her...and I think enjoys it to a certain extent, mostly because she knows how much it turns me on. But I also know it's pretty torturous for her.

So here is my question: What's the best way to move forward with the tickling part of our relationship so as to make it more enjoyable for her? Our relationship is really great, and so is the physical aspect. I don't want to overdo the tickling, and I don't want it to become too much for her over time.

I've never had to really use a safe word with past girlfriends (although I did have one with my last one that we used occasionally). But I've been thinking that it might be really helpful in this situation, to help her earn my trust. I figure if she learns that she is actually in control and can stop it whenever she really NEEDS to, then she'll be able to relax and enjoy it much more.

Thoughts? Advice?
Thanks everyone,
Dan

 

[isabeau]

hi and welcome to the forum... i would take it only as far as she can stand it for now.. as time progresses, it should get better. she sounds pretty awesome to me... so take your time, i think you have a great beginning going for you.. i wish you luck... btw you are lucky to have found someone who embraces your fetish, so to speak.

isabeau

 

[Doryon]

Taht's probably the best advice anyone can give you right now, exactly what you said. I did that with my ex, and it worked wonders for me. She went from being someone who didn't even like being tickled to someone who would ask to be tickled everytime I saw her.

 

[nitez_forever]

i think u and Doryon have hit the nail on the head. Safeword seems the way to go. I often tickle my partner, but have not yet had the opportunity to do a proper tickling marathon with her whereby i plan to tie her to the bed and give her all she can take. Because this hasn't yet happened i have not yet used them, but think i shall when the time comes. Safewords all the way. Good luck

Nitez

 

[tickle_feety]

firstly, you lucky bastard!

secondly, ive found that girls really love it when i go down on them and while theyre at the peak of her *aghem* enjoyment, i lightly tickle her feet, steadily increasing, one girl even mentioned it was the best head shes ever had! (yeah, then i woke up 🙂 )

what im trying to say is that if she doesnt necessarily get turned on by the tickling itself, then you can add in certain other "factors" that will make her really enjoy it 😉

by the way, safe word, definately the way to go if shes really ticklish and you plan on tying her up, because trust is the most important thing in a relationship if you ask me, plus you do not wanna lose her dude, you lucky lucky sod! 😉

 

[lightninbug]

Safeword is a must...

I'd like to add 3 more:
1) SOFT
2) AND
3) SLOW

BTW... Congratulations on finding the Holy Grail.
BUG

 

[Illtcklu]

You seem to know what your doing......... I'd say you have your own best advice here! If it isn't broke don't fix it!!!

 

[Mastertank1]

What Ticklefeety said...

...With someone inexperienced as a 'lee, I always begin with lovemaking, and add the tickling only after she's already thoroughly turned on. This forms a subconcious link between pleasure and tickling in her mind, and makes the whole thing less anxious and more enjoyable for her.
It will only get better for both of you the more you do it together.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[Mark Diplock]

😱 First, i'll say this.... YOU LUCKY ^%"£$%"%. Now that thats out of the way.... lets see. Try talking to her about it. She is already embracing your love of tickling and thats the hardest part already over with. She may have a fetish herself, you never know. See what she wants to do. Have fun with it. Tickle her foot for me breifly 🙄

 

[battlecat]

My advice

Hi Dan

Having read what you have written yourself you sound like a caring, sensible sort of bloke anyway and I think you are 100% right with the 'Safe Word' thing....letting her be in control of her own tickling is a wonderful confidence booster for any 'lee.

My advice is just take things slowly. Let her get used to being tickled....and keep it fun and playful !! Smile and laugh with her....not at her. Tease her....play with her.....make a game of it....bet her she can't last, say a minute/ 2 minutes, let her come up with a forfeit for you if she does.

Try different tickle spots....and don't always tickle her in the same room or at the same time in your foreplay....vary things and always talk to her....help her discover what she likes and dislikes. Believe me she'll thank you for it in ways that you can only dream of right now.

Most of all....You sound like you have a real sweetie on your hands, treat her with respect and you could have a lover for life there.

Good luck 😉

 

[YouNeverKnow175]

thanks

Thanks everyone so much for your feedback.....I really appreciate it. Here's a follow-up for you:

A few weeks ago, we had a conversation in which she told me that sometimes, the tickling is too much for her and she feels out of control. It made me feel really bad, and conflicted. It's so tough because I just love tickling her so much - I really think she is the most ticklish person I've ever met (and I've tickled a LOT of people 😉). And it's not like I'm talking about several minutes here - I think the max I've ever tickled her is 20-30 seconds. Usually even 10 seconds is too much.

Here are my questions: Is it possible someone can just be TOO ticklish to enjoy it at all? I'm only moderately ticklish, so I don't know what it's like. Can all you unbelievably ticklish people help me out here? What's it like? How can I make this work?

One thing to keep in mind is that as a little kid, she was tickled a lot by her dad, at times to the point that she felt sick, and her mom had to tell him to stop. So obviously, this has a lot to do with her reaction to it now. This is in some ways, a whole separate issue - it really makes me angry in some ways - why would a dad do that to his daughter, to that extent? So, any advice with how to work with this, too, would be helpful.

The other aspects of our relationship are great - she's real special and we're very much in love - so I certainly don't want this aspect of our relationship to be unpleasant. But at the same time, it's a big part of me, and definitely an essential part of my sexuality.

Thanks everyone!
Dan

 

[cloudgazer2k]

as someone who has a significant other that went through similar issues with her father, i can only offer a bit of advice. reminding her that "i'm not your dad" and "you are in control of this" will help reassure her that you understand her feelings. just be cool, and take it slow. it took me awhile to get my fiancee into the lifestyle i enjoy. if she's worth it, patience is a must. best of luck.

 

[some1somewhere]

hi and welcome to the forum... i would take it only as far as she can stand it for now.. as time progresses, it should get better. she sounds pretty awesome to me... so take your time, i think you have a great beginning going for you.. i wish you luck... btw you are lucky to have found someone who embraces your fetish, so to speak.

isabeau

Listen to the lady.

From you neighborhood see-through guy.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Congratulations!

You say she not only knows about this, but is totally on board with you? That's wonderful! My best advice, since this is all new to both of you, is to take it slow and make sure you don't go overboard. Ya don't wanna ruin a good thing by jumping in at the deep end! Above all else, make sure she knows you'll respect her limits and that she's totally safe to go as far as she wants with you. Establish a "safeword" for her, so if she's had enough, you'll know she needs a break. That way, she can beg and plead all she wants, and you don't have to stop until she waves the flag and you REALLY know it's time to quit. "Red" is a common safeword. Other people will find something out of the ordinary, something you'd never yell out in the heat of the moment, like her name three times in a row, or "Aardvark" or "Strawberry". Just unusual enough to catch your attention and know it's legit. When she feels that comfort and safety, you two will have an AMAZING time together, knowing that bond of trust is in place.

You're a lucky guy! Congratz!

 

[Em Es]

Is she complaining?

YNK175, thanks for your post. And congrats on finding what sounds like an awesome girlfriend. Every male tickler should have a lady friend like that.

You didn't say anything about your girlfriend complaining, so I am not sure why you are seeking advice. Don't look to fix what isn't broken!

I'm assuming you're young, so I will recommend the Ask Men web site "Doc Love" column: http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove/index.html
I wish this were around when I was single. DL's advice makes me realize why I went wrong with women as often as I did. Maybe his pointers will help you prevent mistakes you may make with your girlfriend.