Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,971
- Points
- 48
When I donated one kidney, they called me a hero. When I donated a second kidney, they called it miraculous. But when I donated a third kidney, they called the cops!
Your tongue and your upper palate are close partners in determining how to perceive flavor. Matter of fact, you could call them taste buds.
For years, I've been working on a theory of anti-gravity. Unfortunately, it just won't hold up.
First rule of Mime Club: you don't talk about Mime Club.
The Sierra Club has started an endowment to provide mosquito netting for all beds in Malaria-ridden countries. Hopes are that it will prevent billions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly.
One of my most vivid childhood memories is of me making a really fancy sandcastle with my grandpa. I'll never forget the horrified faces of the people at the crematorium.
Before she became famous, Dolly Parton was discovered working at an ice cream parlor. She was plenty good at her job, too; she really knew how to make her milkshake.
I've always enjoyed tracking game, so it's no surprise that I've developed an intense interest in hunting dogs. They taste even better than venison!
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: Hard to say. He hasn't made it yet.
My girlfriend tells me that she wants to see other men. What a dummy! If I was agreeable to that, I wouldn't have chained her up in the basement!
In the beginning, God made the Heaven and the Earth. After that, everything was made in China.
Learning semaphore is a confusing discipline: I didn't start making any progress until I began to flag.
The more people drink, the louder they become. But then I always have heard that alcohol is measured by volume.
The rain was so bad at our last football game, the coach sent me is as a sub.
When asked, Professor Moriarty said that Sherlock Holmes was a tremendous dick. It's hard to say if he meant it as an insult or a compliment.
Me and my Siamese twin are taking a trip to England. I figured it was about time he got to drive for awhile.
Is it true that when Emperor Palpatine gets hemorrhoids he takes a Sith's bath?
Jack Black just accepted a small movie role in which he spends all his time in the bathroom. He supplies the comedy relief.
Q: Where did Darth Maul get his fancy face decorations?
A: On Tatooine.
A young man who lost his vision has just had a new pair of eyes implanted. Unfortunately for the poor guy, the surgeon got drunk earlier in the day and grafted the new tissue onto the back of his head. He now has 20/20 hindsight.
Horatia Nelson may have lost an arm in the battle of Santa Cruz, but he got even for it in his next campaign. His opponent was totally de-feeted.
I thought I'd get a car for Christmas this year. Damn it... I completed misunderstood when I overheard my folks say they were buying me a toy Yoda.
* * *
Your tongue and your upper palate are close partners in determining how to perceive flavor. Matter of fact, you could call them taste buds.
* * *
For years, I've been working on a theory of anti-gravity. Unfortunately, it just won't hold up.
* * *
First rule of Mime Club: you don't talk about Mime Club.
* * *
The Sierra Club has started an endowment to provide mosquito netting for all beds in Malaria-ridden countries. Hopes are that it will prevent billions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly.
* * *
One of my most vivid childhood memories is of me making a really fancy sandcastle with my grandpa. I'll never forget the horrified faces of the people at the crematorium.
* * *
Before she became famous, Dolly Parton was discovered working at an ice cream parlor. She was plenty good at her job, too; she really knew how to make her milkshake.
* * *
I've always enjoyed tracking game, so it's no surprise that I've developed an intense interest in hunting dogs. They taste even better than venison!
* * *
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: Hard to say. He hasn't made it yet.
* * *
My girlfriend tells me that she wants to see other men. What a dummy! If I was agreeable to that, I wouldn't have chained her up in the basement!
* * *
In the beginning, God made the Heaven and the Earth. After that, everything was made in China.
* * *
Learning semaphore is a confusing discipline: I didn't start making any progress until I began to flag.
* * *
The more people drink, the louder they become. But then I always have heard that alcohol is measured by volume.
* * *
The rain was so bad at our last football game, the coach sent me is as a sub.
* * *
When asked, Professor Moriarty said that Sherlock Holmes was a tremendous dick. It's hard to say if he meant it as an insult or a compliment.
* * *
Me and my Siamese twin are taking a trip to England. I figured it was about time he got to drive for awhile.
* * *
Is it true that when Emperor Palpatine gets hemorrhoids he takes a Sith's bath?
* * *
Jack Black just accepted a small movie role in which he spends all his time in the bathroom. He supplies the comedy relief.
* * *
Q: Where did Darth Maul get his fancy face decorations?
A: On Tatooine.
* * *
A young man who lost his vision has just had a new pair of eyes implanted. Unfortunately for the poor guy, the surgeon got drunk earlier in the day and grafted the new tissue onto the back of his head. He now has 20/20 hindsight.
* * *
Horatia Nelson may have lost an arm in the battle of Santa Cruz, but he got even for it in his next campaign. His opponent was totally de-feeted.
* * *
I thought I'd get a car for Christmas this year. Damn it... I completed misunderstood when I overheard my folks say they were buying me a toy Yoda.
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