Frustrating Fetish

[Mac]

I guess I'm gonna say whats already been said, and express whats been felt by so so many here...but I gotta vent. I've been interested, fascinated, obsessed with tickling for as long as I can remember...that along with an interest, fascination and obsession with female feet...and I hate it. No, I'm not into dirty feet, smelling feet, etc. Just soft, clean, ticklish feet.

And I'm into having my feet tickled. I'm fanatical about my own feet, very conscious of their appearance. I know it sounds whatever, but I put cream on my feet two or three times a day. I've actually had four women, none of whom know anything about my fetishes, tell me I have really nice feet, which for some reason embarrassed me, though I am flattered.

So starting with the frustration of feeling like a freak my entire life, always afraid of someone finding out or staring, and/or rejection because of it and the frustration of being attracted by a body part that is exposed constantly in warmer months--as someone said, to a "normal" guy, it would be like a woman walking around naked--I hate it.

And yes, it has ruined relationships and the part I hate the most is not being able to seperate the rejection of tickling, especially tickling me, from or taking it as a rejection OF me personally. I really hate that I cannot seperate the two. I know it sounds really weird, especially to me, but when someone tickles my feet, I feel acceptance, affection, etc. and when they don't, I feel rejection, when I should just feel --at the most--disappointment. I'm not talking about someone who knows about my fetish--one or two people do--but more when my bare foot is available, propped up with someone just inches away. I might playfully tickle them, hoping for retailiation, or tease, hoping to get attention back...and I get hurt instead. Man, I hate that! I know it is not intentional and that to many people, a foot is just something you walk on, but for some reason, I take it personal.

I hate it because its always there. Like many of you just hearing the word in casual conversation and my heart stops. I see a shoe dangling and I stare. I see long fingernails or a feather and...well, you get the picture.

I've even expressed interest in friendly female chat, just to talk, vent, share, etc., as some kind of outlet and for some reason can't even get a reply to that. YES, its very frustration AS MANY OF YOU EXPERIENCE AS WELL. Misery loves company 🙂

What also is frustrating is that in "real" life, I'm a popular guy. I'm fairly nice looking or so I've been told. I'm not going to exxagerate. I'm not muscle-bound by any stretch of the imagination and pretty much just a normal build. I like to tease and play and have fun. I think tickling is just a part of that and I'm sure thats how most people who know me see it. They kind of expect that as just part of what I do and the many ways I tease...but it is so frustrating to "feel" the intensity of it and have to hide it. I think almost daily how much simpler life would be without it...and it would.

Well, I've whined enough, but having this forum does help to let it out. (BIG SIGH) I know there are many out there who feel like this. There is so much more but don't even know how to express it...but thanks for letting me...

 

[ShadowTklr]

You're seeing the glass have empty, and you're looking at your situation upside down. That's why you're having so many problems. But it's not your fault. You're made to feel that way by an intolerant and repressive society that lies to itself everyday.

You say that sometimes you feel life would be better if you didn't have the fetish, but I say life would probably be much better if you were to simply accept yourself for who you are. It's like saying, my life would be better if I were a different nationality, or a different gender. No, it wouldn't.

I wonder if you were surrounded by people who enjoyed tickling the way you do, would life still be better if you didn't have the fetish? What if your fetish was a mainstream, acceptable kink? Would you still want to be rid of it? If the answer is no, then the problem lies with you rejecting that side of yourself for the sake of a hypocritical society.

People, as individuals, are a lot more accepting than you think they are. If you give yourself a chance, I think you'll find your path through life will get a little wider and a little more clearly defined.

 

[DannyMc]

Mac , hold on to what you enjoy because there are plenty of women who very much enjoy tickling , giving and receiving . Remember , some want to receive but not give back and also if there is the lack of physical attraction there may be no receiving as well , Also in tickling , some don't want to be on the spot to tickle back .

 

[tcklft]

It's only frustrating until you find someone who shares your interests, at which point the clouds part, the heavens smile upon you, and all is right with the world....

 

[simulated]

So starting with the frustration of feeling like a freak my entire life, always afraid of someone finding out or staring, and/or rejection because of it and the frustration of being attracted by a body part that is exposed constantly in warmer months--as someone said, to a "normal" guy, it would be like a woman walking around naked--I hate it.

Everyone has their turn-on's, and this is one of yours. There's nothing any more abnormal about it than being turned on by seeing a girl in a low cut top leaning over you. I found that when I accepted this I felt far, far better about myself, and while I'm not exactly walking around with a sign saying "I love tickling," if someone asked me a direct question I wouldn't lie. Quit trying to conform to some arbitrary standard of normal, and you'll stop beating yourself up over it.

And yes, it has ruined relationships and the part I hate the most is not being able to seperate the rejection of tickling, especially tickling me, from or taking it as a rejection OF me personally. I really hate that I cannot seperate the two. I know it sounds really weird, especially to me, but when someone tickles my feet, I feel acceptance, affection, etc. and when they don't, I feel rejection, when I should just feel --at the most--disappointment. I'm not talking about someone who knows about my fetish--one or two people do--but more when my bare foot is available, propped up with someone just inches away. I might playfully tickle them, hoping for retailiation, or tease, hoping to get attention back...and I get hurt instead. Man, I hate that! I know it is not intentional and that to many people, a foot is just something you walk on, but for some reason, I take it personal.

Have you ever just asked them? I told a friend of mine that I love the feeling of being tickled, now I just lie down next to her and she'll tickle me for ages. She's not into it herself, but she knows I love it.

And on the other hand, maybe they don't tickle you because they see it as crossing some kind of personal barrier. I wouldn't do so myself with someone who I wasn't extremely comfortable with physically, and its not right to beat yourself up over something that in all likelyhood came from the good intentions of others.

I think almost daily how much simpler life would be without it...and it would.

Simpler, yes, but more fun? I think not

 

[Avenger314]

Having a kink that makes you horny doesn't make you a freak.
Going out of one's way to belittle someone's interests or lifestyle, refusing to make them happy, or holding their interests against them as a weapon--that makes them a freak.

Remember that and you'll be ok.

I am so tempted to fire this at several girls I'd dated in the past, but it's not worth it.

There is NOTHING wrong with what we have. If someone rejects you for it, and it can happen, fuck 'em.

 

[Mac]

Thanks

Thanks for all the input. It IS appreciated. As far as feeling like a freak, that for the most part is long past. But growing up with those feelings and frustrations still leave "imprints"...thought patterns? I realize in my head that there is absolutely no difference between being attracted to feet, or legs, or breasts, or anything else. I once went through a relationship where the girl "assured" me over and over and over that I wasn't a freak etc., but the actions spoke louder than words. I really don't know if she believed what she said or not, but she certainly wasn't into it. While she would let me indulge in it, she became unticklish and would stiffen up...I'd don't mean because she was ticklish, but just dealing with it. The situation grew worse and we argued about it on a regular basis. When she went from ticklish to unticklish, I took it personally. Anyhow alot of resentment set in and deep seated bitterness until things finally ended a very long, fought for relationship. I was angry for a long time. Looking back, I am not angry at all and have no resentment toward her, though there are still alot of things I don't understand. I realize that though she tried, she was just not into it. I think there were many things she didn't handle very well in those areas that I won't go into cause I'm not going to bash her over a long ago done deal, but the scars remain. All that to say, in my head, I don't feel like a freak, but because of past experiences, I am most definitely overly sensative to it.

Second, I appreciate the input about personal barriers and I do understand that,but the reminder helps. I need to clarify too. I guess when I am expressing this, I am expressing just the negative. Females do tickle my feet alot off and on. Yenny and I have alot in common and sometimes its a target, though mine is pink. Its a good thing to be blessed with! 🙂 I think many of my hang-ups and frustrations are from with-in and probably developed from past experience in the particular relationship I was refering to and just growing up feeling as I did. Tickling can be sexual for me but depending on the situation, person, etc., does not have to be. Sometimes its just fun and playful, and believe it or not, sometimes its comforting. (My mother used to tickle my feet alot at my bidding even though I was extremely self conscious about it. I never asked her to do it, but many times it was pretty obvious when I would plop my foot down in her lap) But regardless of what it is, it, in MY MIND, is always acceptance. I think that is where my problem lies. I wish I could seperate that. There are a few female friends who I am very close to (not in any sexual way) who pretty much know I enjoy tickling to just play and tease. Not that it doesn't give me a thrill cause it does. Anyhow, we'll go through this phase where I will tickle their feet in play and sure enough they will do it back in retailiation(sp?). Then we'll go through a phase where I will tickle their feet and nothing. In the once situation its been for over a year! Then I start to feel foolish and rejected. I KNOW on their part, it probably has nothing to do with me because to them its just fun and something you do. Its not a thing with them. So my head KNOWS one thing but my heart feels another. (I hope that clarifies and I am sure there are a hundred people on here would would like to be tickled or to tickle, so why am I complaining?) So I guess I should change my statement to I hate how this fetish affects me and how easily I get my feelings hurt. I KNOW it doesn't make sense, but things of the heart usually don't. I have to admit, this forum does really help to get things out...to be able to tell someone! And as much as I appreciate all the guys input on this AND BELIEVE ME I DO__YOU ALL HAVE BEEN A BIG HELP...I would love to have a female to talk with (e-mail chat) and get some of this talked through just to get female perspective.

I plan to stay with this thread for as long as there is help. You guys have brought things out and to mind that I needed to let out. THANKS!

 

[bratgirl365]

Hi Mac, speaking from a lees prospective (a more submissive side) I've always been in a relationship with a ler, (a more dominate figure). I've never had the opportunity of someone just sitting there and putting thier feet in my lap to be tickled and to be quite honest, I would feel a little intimidated, not saying I wouldn't want tickle to them, but feeling like if I did, I would dissappoint them, like I don't know what I'm doing, or I'm not doing it right.
Some women are more submissive and shy, so maybe you are with these type of women? Maybe they really want to tickle you and it isn't a personal thing against you but they aren't confident about it? I know I'm not!
Don't beat yourself up over it, just come to my house and put your feet in my lap you can teach me....

 

[Mac]

The plop my feet in your lap thing I only did as a child. My mother would be on the phone for hours(?) and I would go in and lay on the floor or couch with my feet in her lap. (Probably the comfort thing). I don't do that now, not that I wouldn't if I knew someone was willing 🙂, but thats not something I do in these situations I am talking about. It is more making it opportune. To me, when you see a foot, your tickle it. I don't know how people don't think of that 🙂 To me its natural and seriously, I understand that many people don't. Anyhow, I'm getting off track. Usually, I just put my foot in a tempting or vulnerable position and as I said, oft times it does happen. What is frustrating when it doesn't is my taking it personal. For example, a few of us were together and I kept tickling the feet of this one girl when I could. Nothing prolonged, just playing off and on. She knows I like to do that...again as the playful part of my personality and I do it any available chance I get. AND she has tickled my feet before. So finally she and some others go outside. So I lay face down on the couch, my bare foot resting sole up on the arm of the couch, when she comes in she literally has to be within inches of my foot and nothing. By the way, I'm not wanting or expecting an all out attack, but a simple teasing, playful finger stroke. She wasn't in a hurry, not distracted by anyone and she walked by two or three times. I KNOW ITS STUPID, but it hurt my feelings and it shouldn't have. It bugs me like I did something and am being rejected. Man I hate that part of it!!! It makes no sense to me why I feel that way.

Bratgirl, I am sure you would know exactly what to do, but it would be fun nonetheless 🙂 I do appreciate the female point of view here and AGAIN, I never thought of what you said--until you said it, because I am sure that in many other cases that has been true. I never really thought of someone feeling unsure about how they tickle...but thank you, understanding that helps some.

 

[Ticklee1973]

I am with bratgirl on the submissive thing but I also have one hell of a ler streak in me, not sure where it came from cause I consider myself mainly a lee and like brat I tend to be with either majority lers or strictly lers. With that being said I've found myself tickling my new guy and he's not into the tickling per se, but I'm slowly bringing him over to the dark side, lol. On another note, I've never been into male feet, your may be great but I can't say I'd be all over a man's feet. Just can't do it but I'd tickle them if they were ticklish without hesitation, it's just the tickling aspect of it, not the feet aspect of it.

Sandee

 

[Mac]

No, I understand that...everyone has their own thing. What is different is that someone could or could not tickle my sides and though it would tickle, I have no desire or "need" to be tickled there. For me, its the ffet. There is something about the look, texture, curves, feel, and obviously sensativity when it comes to tickling. As far as being tickled, its not important to me if they are into feet or not. I think that intention and teasing evilness have ALOT to do with it. Again, it doesn't make sense, I just know how I feel. I'm going to post more on this in a little while.

By the way, my feet are so ticklish that about a month ago, I trapped my foot and a female friend was pretty much torturing me. I was cackling it tickled so bad. Her sister actually thought I was faking and said, "Nobody is that ticklish!" Course she's not ticklish at all, anywhere. It was fun and a great stress reliever!