I orginally posted these in the Poltics forum, but I had a request to post these here also, I was told that these were too funny not to share here.
INTERNATIONAL GUIDE TO IMPORTANT QUESTIONS NOT TO ASK*
These statements although funny are Politically Incorrect and I did not write many of these, changed a couple, and most importantly I dont take these seriously. Well at least not all of them. If you are easily offended I suggest you not read these. And if you have a few to add to it, why not go ahead.
IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?”
FRANCE
“Do all french people smell like that? Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?”
ITALY
“Is the Pope German? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ”
POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”
GERMANY
“Is this bratwurst kosher? Have you people EVER won a war?"
TURKEY
“Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to slaughter Kurds though, right?”
KOREA
“Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?”
CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great. How many people do you really need here? Do you see 20/20 with those eyes? How many of you can fit into an SUV? Oh you mean you dont get MTV here? You dont even get cable? "
ENGLAND
“Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick? Doesnt your nationalized healthcare cover Dentistry? Does everyone talk that way or do you all have sticks up your ass?"
SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?”
YEMEN
“Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean ‘Land Of Fanatics And Desert’?”
INDIA
“You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here? Hey if I touch the dot on your head do I win a prize?"
ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your newborn!”
CANADA
“You’re like Americans without money. Hey French and Canadian, that must mean your both dull and obnoxious. Where are all the good looking women, in American, gee I wonder why. What do you Canadian's really mount, seriously?"
SPAIN
“So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?"
SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”
MEXICO
“Cancun is nice, but the rest of this third world country sucks! How much longer before rest of this country moves north?"
SAUDI ARABIA
“Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?”
RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated? Why is that woman wearing earmuffs under her arms?"
UZBEKISTAN
“Can you spell Uzbekistan?”
GREECE
“I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy. Anyone ever tell you that you resemble a Turk? Where are all the sheep? Do you shave them with shears or is it a part of foreplay?"
AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”
JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi? I sure could go for some chineese food. Pearl Harbor has recovered nicely dont you think? Why do all your cartoon characters look white and not like you?"
AUSTRALIA
“How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure? Do Kangraroos hop to avoid the pricks in the field or the pricks that get in their field? I heard that criminals actually started this country. Does all your beer taste like piss?"
AMERICA
“You mean, you’re all not loud, stupid, and fat? Do all of your politicans speak out of their ass? WOW, this slum isnt too bad for New York City. How many people do you plan to oppress today?"
PHILLEPEANS: What did they do with all the shoes?
VIETNAM: Is the Ho-che-Man trail a good place for a bike ride? Where is the school they teach everyone to do nails at? Lip Balm, oh I thought you asked for Napalm.
SWITZERLAND: It was so nice for you to give us that Cheese, where do you make it? No kidding, just watches and mountains...no wonder your never heard from in the news.
VATICAN CITY: So this is the true religion and all you have is a country the size of Oprah's backyard? Where can I go for a good stiff drink? Where are all the daycare centers?
Enjoy all.....
INTERNATIONAL GUIDE TO IMPORTANT QUESTIONS NOT TO ASK*
These statements although funny are Politically Incorrect and I did not write many of these, changed a couple, and most importantly I dont take these seriously. Well at least not all of them. If you are easily offended I suggest you not read these. And if you have a few to add to it, why not go ahead.
IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?”
FRANCE
“Do all french people smell like that? Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?”
ITALY
“Is the Pope German? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ”
POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”
GERMANY
“Is this bratwurst kosher? Have you people EVER won a war?"
TURKEY
“Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to slaughter Kurds though, right?”
KOREA
“Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?”
CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great. How many people do you really need here? Do you see 20/20 with those eyes? How many of you can fit into an SUV? Oh you mean you dont get MTV here? You dont even get cable? "
ENGLAND
“Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick? Doesnt your nationalized healthcare cover Dentistry? Does everyone talk that way or do you all have sticks up your ass?"
SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?”
YEMEN
“Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean ‘Land Of Fanatics And Desert’?”
INDIA
“You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here? Hey if I touch the dot on your head do I win a prize?"
ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your newborn!”
CANADA
“You’re like Americans without money. Hey French and Canadian, that must mean your both dull and obnoxious. Where are all the good looking women, in American, gee I wonder why. What do you Canadian's really mount, seriously?"
SPAIN
“So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?"
SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”
MEXICO
“Cancun is nice, but the rest of this third world country sucks! How much longer before rest of this country moves north?"
SAUDI ARABIA
“Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?”
RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated? Why is that woman wearing earmuffs under her arms?"
UZBEKISTAN
“Can you spell Uzbekistan?”
GREECE
“I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy. Anyone ever tell you that you resemble a Turk? Where are all the sheep? Do you shave them with shears or is it a part of foreplay?"
AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”
JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi? I sure could go for some chineese food. Pearl Harbor has recovered nicely dont you think? Why do all your cartoon characters look white and not like you?"
AUSTRALIA
“How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure? Do Kangraroos hop to avoid the pricks in the field or the pricks that get in their field? I heard that criminals actually started this country. Does all your beer taste like piss?"
AMERICA
“You mean, you’re all not loud, stupid, and fat? Do all of your politicans speak out of their ass? WOW, this slum isnt too bad for New York City. How many people do you plan to oppress today?"
PHILLEPEANS: What did they do with all the shoes?
VIETNAM: Is the Ho-che-Man trail a good place for a bike ride? Where is the school they teach everyone to do nails at? Lip Balm, oh I thought you asked for Napalm.
SWITZERLAND: It was so nice for you to give us that Cheese, where do you make it? No kidding, just watches and mountains...no wonder your never heard from in the news.
VATICAN CITY: So this is the true religion and all you have is a country the size of Oprah's backyard? Where can I go for a good stiff drink? Where are all the daycare centers?
Enjoy all.....
