God. Portland, Oregon is the weeniest town ever

[buggs]

I am eating pizza at Escape from New York Pizza and I look over and I see the "hells angles" in our town. They are a bunch of bikers all parked in front of Starbucks dinking Late's. And I am thinking to myself if the original Hells Angels guys saw you muff's, they would have strapped you dorks to the back of their bikes and dragged you till you were blood smears on the road. It just is hard to buy their tough act when they are drinking late's with whipped cram, or whatever that is on the top of it, worried that their hands are going to touch the cup and not the little cardboard heat protector.

Reminds me of these two guys I worked with at this one Wood Trading Firm back in '93. We are sitting in the break room and they ask me what I was going to do this weekend. I told them I was going on a date. I asked them what they where doing and one says "I am going to see if my Azalias bloom this weekend." And then these two guys start talking about the flowers that they have planted in their garden, and how "Pretty" some of them are blooming. After two minutes of this I yelled "STOP!" They both looked at me and asked "What's your problem?" And I said "When the hell did someone bobbit-ize you two num nutses? YOU BOTH USED TO BE DEFENSIVE LINEMEN, and now you are talking about Crianthimums bloming!!!! I could see if you guys where 35 but you are both 27. What fricken' Alien force came down and switched your two real bodies with these duplicates?" My God, I really hate this town.

 

[the_Baron]

stop complaining and pick up a rake. 😛

 

[AquaFeline]

I hear there's good strip clubs in Portland... maybe they "spend" their stereotypical masculinity at those places and don't feel the need to walk around with their dicks hanging out otherwise.

Hells angles? If you got four of them together are they really square?

 

[Azrael]

I see that buggs is too manly, amongst other things, to learn how to spell and grammaticize (yes, it is a word) properly, so that us weenies know what he's saying.

Hey, Buggs! I write poetry, read fantasy, play roleplaying games, and geek around with computers! And y'know what else I do? I TICKLE PEOPLE! Talk about a 5-year-old playroom activity. I ought to be ashamed for being so feminine.

I mean, god forbid that real men actually have brains or occasionally do something that is constructive in an attractive fashion. Then again, I'm also an immature little goth, so I probably shouldn't talk.

I'd tell you to come see me; I'd show you that every town in America is like that now! Of course, you probably wouldn't survive the shock, and even if you did... well, I take two martial arts, work out at the local gymn, and I practice combat in the SCA! That last one might not be relevant if I didn't collect swords and have several on display in my apartment! I'll put you out of your brainless misery, boy!

AND THEN I'LL TRAMPLE YOUR AZALIAS! YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! ADMIT IT!

 

[shylittleme]

weeniest town?

EDIT: you mean City

portland,oregon is a City not a town 🙂 !


portland oregon= awhole lot of gangs. so nope its not weenie at all

 

[buggs]

Whatever on my spelling. I got dyslexia and I am tired os using the spell checker. Sue me! It is weenie. I lived in the supposed worst block in the city for 3 years. If you ever heard of a drive by shooting, it happened on this street adn block most likely. But it was funny, cause alot of time the gangs started to rumble, all you had to do was open the door and yell "Shut the hell up. People are trying to sleep here!" and they would all go home. One of our roomates was from New York and he just laughed at the supposed worst street in Portland.

And the guys I was referencing had been defensive linemen in college just a few years before this, and now they wrere all excited about Azalias. Two years before these guys had no interest in anything garden wise. It was all an act of weeniedom. So yeah, they did weenie out. Even when I said it, one looked down and said "What the hell is going on here? I hate gardening."

Okay, Portland is a city, but I call it a town because it is so damn small. The downtown area is smaller than alot of suburbs in other places, so to me it is a town. It don't rank as a city. The downtown, at it's longest in length, can be walked from one side to the other in 20 minutes. And that is not walking fast.

Yeah we do have alot of strip clubs here. We have more per capita than any other state. I don't go to them. When I was a bouncer alot of the strippers used to come over to practice dancing at our club and I got to be friends with most of them . They hate guys who go to strip clubs. Some of them are students who are doing it for easy money while going to school. Some are mom's who are doing it because it is easier than a real job. Some are doing it to get the money to afford a breast implant. Some just crave the attention. But I hate strip clubs. Why do guys go to places to see girls who they wnever have a chance with and hate their guts for being there. You don't even get to know the real girl in one of those damn things. And the more money you throw down for the girls to dance for you, the more of a goofball they think you are. "Here you are spending all of your hard earned money on a girl you don't know in a public place for a 2 minute flash" is what goes through their minds alot of the time. I got dragged to a few when I was in college. They just bore the hell out of me. I had much more fun talking to the girls and hanging out with them, and they had no makeup, with clothes on. In fact, one of the strippers I knew i got along with really well because, even though she was totally hot, she was a real person. One night I was hanging out with her on my break and she burped this loud burp, and I high fived her. For the next 20 minutes we sat there guzzling soda to see who could make the loudest, longest burp. And this girl was one of the best looking women I have ever met. I miss her. I wonder where she is now.

And Azrael, but at least you aren't wondering how your azalias are going to bloom.

 

[shylittleme]

Whatever on my spelling. I got dyslexia and I am tired os using the spell checker. Sue me! It is weenie. I lived in the supposed worst block in the city for 3 years. If you ever heard of a drive by shooting, it happened on this street adn block most likely. But it was funny, cause alot of time the gangs started to rumble, all you had to do was open the door and yell "Shut the hell up. People are trying to sleep here!" and they would all go home. One of our roomates was from New York and he just laughed at the supposed worst street in Portland.

And the guys I was referencing had been defensive linemen in college just a few years before this, and now they wrere all excited about Azalias. Two years before these guys had no interest in anything garden wise. It was all an act of weeniedom. So yeah, they did weenie out. Even when I said it, one looked down and said "What the hell is going on here? I hate gardening."

Okay, Portland is a city, but I call it a town because it is so damn small. The downtown area is smaller than alot of suburbs in other places, so to me it is a town. It don't rank as a city. The downtown, at it's longest in length, can be walked from one side to the other in 20 minutes. And that is not walking fast.

Yeah we do have alot of strip clubs here. We have more per capita than any other state. I don't go to them. When I was a bouncer alot of the strippers used to come over to practice dancing at our club and I got to be friends with most of them . They hate guys who go to strip clubs. Some of them are students who are doing it for easy money while going to school. Some are mom's who are doing it because it is easier than a real job. Some are doing it to get the money to afford a breast implant. Some just crave the attention. But I hate strip clubs. Why do guys go to places to see girls who they wnever have a chance with and hate their guts for being there. You don't even get to know the real girl in one of those damn things. And the more money you throw down for the girls to dance for you, the more of a goofball they think you are. "Here you are spending all of your hard earned money on a girl you don't know in a public place for a 2 minute flash" is what goes through their minds alot of the time. I got dragged to a few when I was in college. They just bore the hell out of me. I had much more fun talking to the girls and hanging out with them, and they had no makeup, with clothes on. In fact, one of the strippers I knew i got along with really well because, even though she was totally hot, she was a real person. One night I was hanging out with her on my break and she burped this loud burp, and I high fived her. For the next 20 minutes we sat there guzzling soda to see who could make the loudest, longest burp. And this girl was one of the best looking women I have ever met. I miss her. I wonder where she is now.

And Azrael, but at least you aren't wondering how your azalias are going to bloom.

then if you think Portland, Oregon is so weenie. go down to a bad ghetto section of portland where alot of gangs are and wear the Colors either Red or Blue and walk around in that section 😀

 

[jugner]

Since when did gardening make you a wuss? A real man doesn't have to prove his manhood, he knows it. When my mom wants my dad to hold her purse when she's shopping, he does with no concern about what anyone thinks, because he knows he's a man, and his self-esteem is not dependant on what others think. It's called confidence.

 

[AffectionateDan]

And may I just say...

I see that buggs is too manly, amongst other things, to learn how to spell and grammaticize (yes, it is a word) properly, so that us weenies know what he's saying.

Hey, Buggs! I write poetry, read fantasy, play roleplaying games, and geek around with computers! And y'know what else I do? I TICKLE PEOPLE! Talk about a 5-year-old playroom activity. I ought to be ashamed for being so feminine.

I mean, god forbid that real men actually have brains or occasionally do something that is constructive in an attractive fashion. Then again, I'm also an immature little goth, so I probably shouldn't talk.

I'd tell you to come see me; I'd show you that every town in America is like that now! Of course, you probably wouldn't survive the shock, and even if you did... well, I take two martial arts, work out at the local gymn, and I practice combat in the SCA! That last one might not be relevant if I didn't collect swords and have several on display in my apartment! I'll put you out of your brainless misery, boy!

AND THEN I'LL TRAMPLE YOUR AZALIAS! YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! ADMIT IT!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! You almost got me to do a spit-take, there... I'd have had to send you a bill for the removal of Dr. Pepper from my computer if that'd been any more F*@&ing funny!

 

[TKpervert]

DAMN, Buggs, lighten up !!!

 

[AquaFeline]

I like weenie guys.... "real" men don't talk about their feelings, I suppose, and its farking hard to have a relationship under those constraints...

 

[buggs]

shylittleme

I used to live in that neighborhood, for 3 years. Besides dealing with stupid people, there wasn't anything scarry about it. There where drive by shootings at the hosue acroos the street and the one on the corner at least once a month for a long period. Sometimes they were once a week. The worst thing I saw was a shoot out in the streeet between two drug dealers. That one worried me a little because a couple of the bullets shot into the house. But most of the time they happend some of the roommates would knock on my door and I would say "Another drive by shooting. So what. They happen all the time." I mean the only thing that really ticked me off the most about living there was the drug dealing, and the idiot people that you had to deal with while walking to work. The other thing was, if I was carrying a friends computer home to work on it, I would always get the same thing: "Hey man what you got there?" I would say "A computer. I am working on it for a friend." And this always happened "Yo man, I want it." I would get that at least three times on my way home carrying any sort of electric appliance. I finally stopped when I was asked that each time and said "If you want something like this so badly, go out and get a job like the rest of the world does and earn the money to buy it" And the other thing was one of the roomates who was from the neighborhood who would bring over his friends who we, and alot of times it was me, would have to kick out of the house for stealing food out of our refridgerators. And the other thing that pissed me off was a girl he moved into the house who O.D.'ed in the house and her boyfriend came over, who was the guy who gave her the drugs that she o'd'ed on to begin with, and tried to shoot himself in the house. I kicked his ass out and the room mate and I got in an arguement that nearly came to blows before the cops arrived and seperated us. A guy tried to mug me one night on my way home and I just laughed at the guy and walked off. Most of it was jsut worrying about your stuff being stolen. One guy who moved into the house broke into a roomates room and stole $200.00, and tried to break into my room while I was in the shower. After the roomate had his room broken into, we pretty much knew who it was, and he had 3 days to move out. I had taken a piece of foamcore and propped it up in my room in front of my door. You had to open my door to see it. On it I wrote "If anything is missing from my room I am going to come down to unit one and take it out of your hide." I heard someone open my door while I was in teh shower and yelled "Somoeone better not be going into my room," The next morning he confronted me and told me he was hurt that I was accusing him of going into my room. I told him that "The only way he knew I was accusing him was if you had read the note on the foamcore. And the only way you could have done that was to have gone into my room." He just looked down at me. I then said "Excuse me." and I got a chair, put it down in front of him, stood on the chair (the guy was 6'4") and then I cocked and dropped him to the ground. I told him "That was a warning. Between now and when you move out, if I even see you near my door I wont be so nice next time." But other than that silly stuff, which just irritated the piss out of me, it was tame compared to places I have been in other cities. I had a friend and his wife over few times from New Orleans and they always said the same thing "This is the worst street in Portland?" And I would always say "Yep. Pretty lame huh?" And they would say "We have been in non-bad areas of New Orleans that are way worse than this." I mean there are a lot of stupid people who live in the neighborhood, but I never had any fear to walk around in it at any time of the day or night. I still occasionally walk or bike through the bad parts whenever I go to Popeye's chicken.

Now where I grew up at in Hawaii, there is a housig project close to the Kam shopping center in Kalihi that is scary. It is mostly Samoans that live there. My cousin Jeff hunt, who had played pro ball, lived there when we were going to high school. He was a senior at a neigboring school and I was a freshman. His younger brother was on my wrestling team, so I would go and visit them occasionally. I have seen cars go downt the street, and the driver did something wrong, or ticked off the people who lived there, and a couple of huge samoan guys stopped the car, picked it up, and ripped the tires off of the rims, put the car down and then told the driver "Now what are you going to do?" Now that is a bad neighborhood. And even that is tame compared to neighborhoods in New York and L.A., not to mention some other areas. There are cab drivers that refuse to go to parts of Brooklyn. D.C. area is really bad too. Trust me, even the supposed bad parts of Portland are tame.

 

[AquaFeline]

Why don't you move to somewhere more dangerous, buggs, if that's what you like?

 

[Azrael]

You use a spell-checker?

WEEEENIEEEEEE!

And I don't grow azalias... I grow roses and lillies.

Y'know something? The best typist, in English, that I ever saw, was a dyslexic German who learned English while she was in her twenties. About two years before the typing I witnessed.

Sorry, but if it's weenies and 'real men' that you're talking, I'm going to hit you on my own field too. There are people that are physical disadvantaged and I'm sure you don't give half a tick about their whining. The minority of them that actually whine about it...

My original post, despite the blatant truth in most of it, was intended to be humorous... but seriously. It's like Jugner said. Real men don't have to chew, beat the shit out of other people, or be putting something together out of wood and/or metal all the time to demonstrate their manliness. They don't feel the need to demonstrate it; who gives a shit what other people think? The people who need to bash and trash to prove their manhood need to do it to prove it to themselves... and they don't have enough upstairs to do it any other way.

Swords and fighting experience or no, I wouldn't last half a day in the worst part of a bad city, I'm sure... but I'll outlast any of those twits on the global level as I'm waving to them from the front of my freakin' estate, baby. If natural size or a fast punch is all you've got going for you, you've got nothing at all.

 

[buggs]

God this whole damn thing has been taken so out of context. Okay. Let me do this again. I was eating pizza and I saw guys who are supposed to be hells angels. People were walking around them giving them a wide stretch of the sidewalk as if they were actual hell’s angels. I have seen real hell’s angels guys and these guys are no hell’s angels guys. They were dinging lates with whipped cream on top. They were doing everything that a true hell’s angel guy does not do. One guy was even worried his fingers were getting too hot when his finger went off the cardboard protector. This is not how the Hell's Angel's I saw as a kid acted. They were in a rich part of town hanging out all day in front of a Starbucks. I have actually walked down the street through them a few days now while everyone was basically walking across the street to avoid them. In fact, I even bumped into one guy and he apologized, and I bumped into him. Don't get me wrong, I am against violence, it is just, for some reason this is sort of a raping of my childhood. I grew up with Hell's Angel's being bad asses who took no shit, and they would never be parked all day in front of a Starbucks drinking Late's. These guys are not true Hell's Angels in how I have seen true Hell's Angel's behave. There is no reason for people to avoid walking by them, or even walking across the street to avoid them, and yet people are. These guys are pretend Hell's Angel's guys. And they are not the old Hell's Angel's guys from the 60's and 70's who are now reborn Christians. These are supposedly the new breed, and they are hanging out in front of a Starbucks instead of a Bar somewhere swilling booze like the old guys did. I am sorry it is just a total let down that these guys are Portland's Hell's Angel's. A total let down.

And the thing about the defensive linemen I used to work with who was so anxious to see how his azaleas were blooming. Trust me, I had known this guy for a while, before he moved to Oregon, and he would never, ever be interested in gardening. Never. It is not his nature. So when he said that, it was a "what the hell are you talking about?" thing. It is just not his personality. And it wasn't that he was maturing. It is just not his nature to garden. Just like it would not be his nature to start doing embroidery. When he said that it was he trying to be a person that I know he was not. And when I told them what I said, it was a "What the hell are you guys doing to me. Growing Azaleas? This isn't you. Hell you wouldn't even grow your own pot plant to have a personal stash to smoke." For some reason he moved to Oregon and in a few years became this phony personality that was not him. It wasn't either of their personalities. Yet something here made them change to these weenie'd down versions of their former selves.

And I am glad that the German guy who was dyslexic was able to accomplish that, but not all people are equal, and I still have a problem with it, especially when typing.