Going even deeper and darker in my fetish...

[mch5]

Hello people!

A while ago I have exposed myself and told you about my disability that includes a breathing machine and an inability to move much. I've told you how it effects my fantasies and that I feel lonely. Also, that I wish there were tickling clips with disabled people. It will probably never happen... though i would love to see that, the perfect lee' that cannot escape... ok, let's calm down 🙂

This time, I want to tell you something a bit more detailed. so, bare with me...
My breathing machine/"breather" is connected to my neck via tube, 24/7, pushing air inteo my lungs and in a way "inhale" for me. It's called "tracheostomy", there's a small tube, curved downward, inside my neck called "cannula" which is the interface that connects between me and the breather. Obviously, after many years of having it, it doesn't hurt. in fact, its a part of me, another "ignorable" organ.
Now, the reason I can talk at all, is that inside my neck, some of the air that is being pushed into my lungs is "escaped" upward, and so if I wanna talk, the air goes up through the vocal cords and out from my mouth, just like ordinary humans 🙂

Now, sometimes the air just escape through the mouth uncontrollably without any attempt to talk so there's the loss of air and precious oxygen... such situation happens mostly at night when sleeping and can result in suffocation. So, a part of the Cannula is a balloon that when inflated, the air from the breather goes straight to the lungs without escaping upward (so talking is impossible).

Finally, after the boring medical show... here is The Part About Tickling !
My (quit new) very dark tickling fantasy is to tickle torture a lee' in such situation.
She cannot talk or make a sound... and she still breath (deep) no matter how hard she laugh...

ISN'T IT INSANE ???

If you're still awake 🙂 What do you think ?

 

[AfNull]

I don't think dark tickling fantasies are insane at all. I might not be best authority since I do have a lot of them myself, but the way I see it is that if I'm going to imagine a woman being tickle tortured, I might as well let my imagination run wild and go all out with it.

And as of your specific fantasy, it seems play with idea of ticklee's complete helplessness which is by no means not that abnormal when it comes to this fetish. I've had somewhat similar dark fantasies about intended anesthetic awareness combined with methodical tickle torture of female ticklee.

 

[robmic]

Personally, I don't think your feelings about disabled people being tickled, in your eyes, is odd. You are one, so you feel. But I can see many who would just not be able to get past the "normal" aspect and freak out over a disabled person being tickled. It's not fair to you or any other person in your situation with the same feelings. Everyone should be able to have the same fantasies. The "normal" people, i.e., people without disabilities do not hold a lock on them!

 

[mch5]

I don't think dark tickling fantasies are insane at all. I might not be best authority since I do have a lot of them myself, but the way I see it is that if I'm going to imagine a woman being tickle tortured, I might as well let my imagination run wild and go all out with it.

And as of your specific fantasy, it seems play with idea of ticklee's complete helplessness which is by no means not that abnormal when it comes to this fetish. I've had somewhat similar dark fantasies about intended anesthetic awareness combined with methodical tickle torture of female ticklee.

I would love to hear more about it.
I guess we'll continue in private messaging.

 

[mch5]

Personally, I don't think your feelings about disabled people being tickled, in your eyes, is odd. You are one, so you feel. But I can see many who would just not be able to get past the "normal" aspect and freak out over a disabled person being tickled. It's not fair to you or any other person in your situation with the same feelings. Everyone should be able to have the same fantasies. The "normal" people, i.e., people without disabilities do not hold a lock on them!

self-psychologically-analyzing : Maybe I just want to tickle somebody more helpless than me

 

[M_Spencer]

I find this really interesting in a couple different ways.

I've heard similar wishes for more representation in various fetish media. I know that a lot of people from various communities feel left out, and they are. It sort of creates this self-reinforcing ideamthat sex and fetishism is only for certain people who meet some sort of standard of 'normalcy,' and that's bullshit. I've been thinking a lot about doing my part by adding more diversity among the characters in stories I'm planning out, but I also really want to avoid fetishization or tokenism when I do it. Otherwise I feel like I'm just making it worse somehow. I'm not sure I'd be able to do it right.

I don't think there's anything really weird about the desire you've expressed here. Power exchanges, becoming helpless and vulnerable or making someone that way, are a huge part of bdsm, including hardcore tickling. You're just aware of a level of helplessness that most of us have ever really been able to consider. Hearing you describe it, I have to agree that I like the idea.

This made me remember a fantasy I had many years ago where I'd daydream about being a doctor who specialized in a neurological disease that paralyzed people, starting from the feet and gradually working its way up. The only way to treat it was by stimulating the effective area with tickling. I imagined an entire ward of people receiving treatments multiple times a day, completely unable to move their feet or legs but able to feel every bit of it. And the more advanced cases would be sort of like you describe, unable to talk or even laugh at all, and unable to move while being tickled all over. Even though laughter and other reactions are a huge part of what I enjoy about being a Let, there is still something about that level of helplessness that I find insanely hot.