A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a
chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought
this was the day you spent with your family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother.
We try to play golf as often as we can. You know, I was quite a talented
golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your
day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's
name in vain today!"
"Saints preserve us, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
"You must unburden your soul and tell me about it."
"Well, we were on the fifth tee - and this hole is a monster,
Mother Superior - 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg to the left and
a hidden green. I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest
swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line
I wanted. And it hits a bird in mid-flight, not 100 yards off the tee!"
"Oh my!" commiserated Mother Superior. "How unfortunate! But Surely
that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball
and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother Superior.
"But I didn't, Mother Superior! " sobbed the Sister. "And I was so
Proud of myself for holding my tongue! And while I was pondering
Whether this was a sign from God, this great hawk swooped out of the sky
and grabbed the squirrel and flew off, and the squirrel with my ball still
clutched in its tiny little paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother Superior with a knowing smile.
"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the
hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws
and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest,
fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought
this was the day you spent with your family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother.
We try to play golf as often as we can. You know, I was quite a talented
golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your
day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's
name in vain today!"
"Saints preserve us, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
"You must unburden your soul and tell me about it."
"Well, we were on the fifth tee - and this hole is a monster,
Mother Superior - 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg to the left and
a hidden green. I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest
swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line
I wanted. And it hits a bird in mid-flight, not 100 yards off the tee!"
"Oh my!" commiserated Mother Superior. "How unfortunate! But Surely
that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball
and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother Superior.
"But I didn't, Mother Superior! " sobbed the Sister. "And I was so
Proud of myself for holding my tongue! And while I was pondering
Whether this was a sign from God, this great hawk swooped out of the sky
and grabbed the squirrel and flew off, and the squirrel with my ball still
clutched in its tiny little paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother Superior with a knowing smile.
"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the
hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws
and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest,
fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
