got a problem

[lovetoetickle]

ok, so i got my girlfriend into tickling and she would let me tie her up and tickle her all the time which was great, and she was everything i could ask for when it came to having her as my lee, well anyways, that was long ago and now we are broken up and since then, the sexual experiences i have had have not been as good. im to embarrassed to come out and tell girls about my fetish but my sexual experiences just dont compare. what should i do?

 

[AquaFeline]

You have the options of either: a) having not-so-wonderful sexual experiences with vanillas and risking nothing, b) telling said vanillas about your fetish in some way and hope for the best, c) pursuing people who are into other kinky activities and would satisfy yours in exchange for their satisfaction, or d) pursuing people who are already into the same things. Since the lack of good sexual experiences seems to make you unhappy you probably don't want to do a) . 🙂 Probably I would try b) first an then if that doesn't work out, one of the others. I've always wondered if women who were into bondage would consent to tickling. Maybe you could find out for me. 😀

 

[kis123]

I feel your pain and understand your dilemna more than you know! I consider my love of tickling a passion as opposed to a fetish. I was married for 10 years without my ex (or myself at that matter) even knowing I was a ticklephile. He wasn't ticklish, so my ler needs were never fulfilled in the marriage. He'd tickle me on occasion, but it turned manipulative towards the end and I wouldn't even let him touch me.

My tickling needs began to get met through another relationship. I got my tickling and sexual needs met, but that was all I got. Now, I'm on my own and have chosen to stay that way until the right one comes along. I'm too old to invest another minute in sex-for-sorrow relationships.

Well, since this is about you.........

Aquafeline made some very good points. You may have to learn to compromise a little depending where your needs are right now. If you're solely looking for great sex, go for great sex. If you're looking for a meaningful relationship, you're going to have to come clean up front. You can take the chance and hide your fetish for awhile and hope she's forgiving when you finally confess the truth.

Hey, do what I see some of the fellas are doing and utilize the tickling personals. If you don't come off as a tickle-starved perv (like unfortunately some of them do), relax a bit and just be yourself. I'm sure there's at least one young lady who will match your needs.

I didn't mean to go so long, but you seem so sad and I didn't think a snappy comeback would be the way to go. Hope all works out for you.

 

[Dave2112]

Well, I have to disagree on the compromise part, but that's only because of who I am. I have never had a problem talking about my tickling fetish, but I do understand that not everyone is, or can be, like that.

My belief in the "no compromise" approach stems from my belief that sexuality is an extremely important part of human makeup, moreso than even some fetishists would agrre upon. We live in a society with so many taboos and so much religious dogma against sexuality that we start to believe that we are not entitled to our desires. To evolve as a species, we simply need to stop this.

You have a right to express yourself sexually, and a responsibility to get involved with those who share your desires. Believe me, there are more people out there that are a match for your sexuality than you'd realize. The worst possible thing to do is "settle". You start with great sex, but always wind up unfulfilled in the long run. The next thing you know, you're looking back on a ten-year relationship that you are not happy with and asking yourself "How did I get to this point?"

I'm not advocating spilling your heart out about tickling on the first date or anything, but I believe that as a relationship starts to develop into a sexual one, personal desires MUST be brought out into the open. Sexual compatibility is not restricted to "It was good for me too!"...it goes beyond that.

Thinking back on a lost relationship and comparing any present ones to it is a natural thing...but it is a mistake in the long run. You are never going to get that particular feeling back. Even if you tickle the crap out of every person you get involved with, there's still a different dynamic to each one. Leaving the tickling aside, you're just not going to replace that one girl, or that special guy from years ago. Relationships are hard enough to deal with...add fetishes to the mix and you've got to be careful if you're trying to recreate something from the past.

I say look forward to the future. Don't make tickling the #1 thing you look for in a person, but don't deny it, either. Once again, you have every right to have the sexual relationship you desire. If you're not getting it...find it. You'll have setbacks, for sure. But, when you find the right connection, it will be well worth the trouble.