Guys, PLEASE sign up for this...... :)

[Tamia78]

I like all of them, but #3 is DEFINITELY my fave!

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION STARTS
Monday, Jan. 23, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny list. 😀

 

[unclebill]

Very funny, Tamia. You have a good sense of humor, and stunning beauty. I like. So, whatcha doing next Saturday night???

 

[kered]

Very funny list Tamia. You are always humorous this time of the month. 😛

 

[44Blues]

Ack! Where's this at, an ivy league school? I'll sign up for course # 15: How to juggle a beer and a playstation controller in 3 easy steps.

 

[bellystrokes]

Very funny, Tamia. You have a good sense of humor, and stunning beauty. I like. So, whatcha doing next Saturday night???

Um, who said Tamia was joking?

 

[Tamia78]

Very funny list Tamia. You are always humorous this time of the month. 😛

And what is THAT supposed to mean?

and, I'm NOT joking, thank you, bellystrokes

I just noticed something else about #3. It says "group practice" or something like that. Can you imagine a bunch of guys around a toilet seat trying to aim?

Get the raincoats!!!! 🙄

 

[unclebill]

Um, who said Tamia was joking?

Be nice or I will "class 3" on the bathroom floor of your home, my pretty. 😛

 

[german]

Which man could ever have the time to fit those classes in...off season is just around the corner with the draft, the NBA is heating up, Formula 1 starts soon...damn women what you think we are made off.

Priest

 

[Tamia78]

Which man could ever have the time to fit those classes in...off season is just around the corner with the draft, the NBA is heating up, Formula 1 starts soon...damn women what you think we are made off.

Priest

What do we think you're made of? Money, we hope! 😛

 

[bellystrokes]

What do we think you're made of? Money, we hope! 😛

*HIgh fiving Tamia* Awesome Tigress, awesome!!!!!

 

[german]

Alright I see how this is going...I will start bringing in the pennies.

Priest

 

[bellystrokes]

Alright I see how this is going...I will start bringing in the pennies.

Priest

Pennies????? We prefer the bills instead (and I don't mean Buffalo). And dont worry, we take all currencies, including the down under kind.

 

[german]

How bout VISA 😛

Priest

 

[bellystrokes]

How bout VISA 😛

Priest

Visa, Mastercard, Am EX, Discover, Diner's Club...........................

 

[Mastertank1]

Okay, let's take a look at some of these.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Been doin' that since age 5. No problem. Don't need the class. I never even spill anything.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Don't use the dispenser; all the TP I buy goes into a stack on the lid of the toilet tank, with the one that's in actual use on top. Much more efficient.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

You know those plastic bottles they use for bedridden people in hospitals, with the handle and the lid? I keep one on the bathroom sink and one on the kitchen sink.
Every drop is neatly contained
and then poured away down the drain.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

I avoid this problem in advanced topology by using a laundry bag in the bedroom closet.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

I wash my dishes as soon as I finish using them, then return to consume the next course of the meal. There is never a single unwashed dish in my home.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

The last SO who tried to retain possession of the remote was sacrificed on the altar of the sun. Parts of her remain in the freezer, alongside the other pet food.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

In my experience, this class is needed by far more women than men.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Bringing her perfume is even less harmful to your health. Bringing her jewelry may be positively beneficial to your health.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Wouldn't know. Never been lost. I KNOW HOW TO READ A MAP!

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Yes. That's why I always get out of the car first, and then windowshop while she parks.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Any guy who don't know this already is either too dumb to learn or too perverted to live.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Best to plan on doing shopping of your own, in another store, while she does hers. Avoid the problem.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Write em all down on a calendar and then check it for three months ahead at least once a week.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

No woman cooks for me unless she's a better cook than I am. I Have not met one who is yet.

 

[Bugman]

Been doin' that since age 5. No problem. Don't need the class. I never even spill anything.


Don't use the dispenser; all the TP I buy goes into a stack on the lid of the toilet tank, with the one that's in actual use on top. Much more efficient.


You know those plastic bottles they use for bedridden people in hospitals, with the handle and the lid? I keep one on the bathroom sink and one on the kitchen sink.
Every drop is neatly contained
and then poured away down the drain.


I avoid this problem in advanced topology by using a laundry bag in the bedroom closet.


I wash my dishes as soon as I finish using them, then return to consume the next course of the meal. There is never a single unwashed dish in my home.


The last SO who tried to retain possession of the remote was sacrificed on the altar of the sun. Parts of her remain in the freezer, alongside the other pet food.


In my experience, this class is needed by far more women than men.


Bringing her perfume is even less harmful to your health. Bringing her jewelry may be positively beneficial to your health.


Wouldn't know. Never been lost. I KNOW HOW TO READ A MAP!


Yes. That's why I always get out of the car first, and then windowshop while she parks.


Any guy who don't know this already is either too dumb to learn or too perverted to live.


Best to plan on doing shopping of your own, in another store, while she does hers. Avoid the problem.


Write em all down on a calendar and then check it for three months ahead at least once a week.

No woman cooks for me unless she's a better cook than I am. I Have not met one who is yet.

LOL Mastertank,i was thinking up a few myself.

Car Care Lesson #1

When the gas gauge is on E,it does not mean enough.

Car Care Lesson #2 The change oil light is not a suggestion.

Domestic Matters #1

No,you may not use my razor to shave your legs.

Domestic Matters # 2 The shower curtain rod is not a clothes line for your pantyhose.

Sports Hints #1

Asking why all those guys are fighting over one football is not condusive to enjoying the game.

Sports Hints#2 He is not called the tight end because you think he has a cute ass.

Tools #1

Screwdrivers are not ice picks.

Tools # 2

Crowbars are not where birds go to pick up dates.

😛

 

[Tamia78]

OMG! E doesn't mean ENOUGH??????

And, where does the gas thingy go in the car?

Why do I have to change my oil? The car's still running, it's okay.


🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

 

[Feathery]

Very amusing... if not exhausting!

 

[Headsnap]

As a red-blooded male, I would like to suggest some companion courses for women to go alongside the men's, for great justice and harmonious living.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Companion Course For Women:
"The Function Of Ice Cubes In The Daily Life Of The Average Man"
One-time course, lasts approximately 5 seconds.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Companion Course For Women:
"Your Credit Card: Does it pay itself?"
Comparative study, fortnightly

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Guilty as charged. Also, in answer to the question, no it's not >_<

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Companion Course For Women:
"Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind: Why Hidden Hampers Don't Get Used"
Answers such posers as "Why is the laundry hamper under the stairs?", "Why is the laundry hamper not in a room where I get changed?" and "Where the fuck is the laundry hamper?"

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Companion Course For Women:
"Your Car And You Pt. 1: Oil Does Not Check Itself"
Demonstrations and group discussions based upon the usage of the dip-stick.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Companion Course For Women:
"Double Duvets: You're Not That Fat"
Explores hypothermia in males and why you don't need ALL the covers

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Companion Course For Women:
"Tidying Up The Rational Way: Putting Things In Logical Places"
Modular course with bonus module on "Remembering Where You Put Things Within 4 Hours Of Being Asked For Them"

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Companion Course For Women:
"Andrea's Bad Hair Day versus The Cup Final"
A comparative study into the relative importance in the male mind of a major sporting event and your ugly friend's trivial shit. Includes "Shutting Up - Why Not Every Second Of Every Day Needs To Be Filled With The Sound Of Your Voice"

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Companion Course For Women:
"Your Car And You Pt. 2: Pulling Out Of A Junction"
Offers support and guidance to those struggling with this traumatic event and counselling to those women who have done it recently

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Companion Course For Women:
"Parallel Parking: The True Definition"
Explores the deeper meaning of the word "parallel" and how it does not equate to leaving the car's nose hanging out into the road. Bonus module: "Stopping When Told To: Yes, That WAS A Crunch!"

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Companion Course For Women:
"Learning To Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife"
Including the ground-breaking seminar "Sex: It's Not A Sin In Marriage!"

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Companion Course For Women:
"Shopping Alone - It's Not Bear-Wrestling"
Explores revolutionary ideas and concepts such as the use of mirrors and trusting your own judgement when it comes to garments and shoes.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Companion Course For Women:
"Relationships: A Rational Guide"
Discusses the difference between flirting and sexual intercourse, and seeks to explain why not every female creature on the planet is a threat to you

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Companion Course For Women:
"Preparing Cuisine With Just 2 Pots!"
A mathematical study into the usage of crockery whilst preparing meals, and why you don't need 50000 pans to make spaghetti bolognaise

 

[Tamia78]

OBVIOUSLY you men don't know what your talking about. We're not the ones who need the classes. We're perfect. Enough said.


I will admit tho....Headsnap, that was pretty funny. No turkey and gravy for you, now....

 

[Illtcklu]

I just noticed something else about #3. It says "group practice" or something like that. Can you imagine a bunch of guys around a toilet seat trying to aim?

Get the raincoats!!!! 🙄

You cross the streams and have a stream fight!



Everyone knows that!

 

[kered]

You cross the streams and have a stream fight!



Everyone knows that!

Man Law!!!!!

 

[Headsnap]

OBVIOUSLY you men don't know what your talking about. We're not the ones who need the classes. We're perfect. Enough said.

There's a difference between being perfect and being impossible to argue with. Just because you shout down everyone who points out your flaws doesn't mean you are flawless 😀

That said, nobody's perfect but Tamia comes close <3






(I said a nice thing about you can I have my turkey and gravy now please? 🙁 )

 

[Tamia78]

That said, nobody's perfect but Tamia comes close

Just wanted to point that out. 🙄