Having Sex VS Satisfying Fetishes

[DebonairDavid]

Despite years of looking at pictures of naked women, and being a 31 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend, I'd still rather satisfy my fetishes than have sex. Obviously, my lack of experience, and therefore my lack of knowledge, plays a huge part in that. However, I can get turned on from my foot fetish and tickle fetish alone, so I never felt any sexual desire outside of those two things. Another thing to mention is I get grossed out over bodily fluids due to my squeamishness. There is a concern about STDs, but that's minimal because we can get tested beforehand. If I were to look into trying out sex for the first time, I'll look up videos or articles about how to have safe sex.

Which do you prefer and why?

 

[BBGuy5240]

Honestly, fetishes.

While I was in college, I dated a girl who was abstinent. Sex was 100% off the table until marriage for her. During this time I was mainly into bellybuttons, and just getting into tickling and feet. She was very open-minded when I opened up about my fetishes. She wasn't really ticklish, but what ended up worked for me because it meant that I'd get to play with her bellybutton and feet without interruption. I explained to her what I'd be doing to her bellybutton and feet, and I made clear that there'd be no form of release from me during any of this. After hearing what I had to say, she was just like "Go for it". And that was that. This was our way of messing around. We dated for about two years.

 

[AJ2007]

If I gotta pick, it’s sex. As at least I’ll satisfy my physical needs and can figure out how to satisfy the fetishes in my head another day. Obviously I’d love both but if I gotta pick, I need that release every so often.

 

[Maneo]

Satisfying sex and satisfying fetishes don't have to be mutually exclusive. Each to his or her own. The wonderful thing about having these human, very physical forms with a multitude of sensors - skin, nerves, smell, sight, sound, taste, touch, etc - and central computers we call brains that can enhance, deaden, simulate, and otherwise prompt reactions to various stimuli and situations, is the almost infinite responses each of us can have. This applies to every kind of physical, emotional, and mental situation imaginable.

It doesn't have to be related to tickling. It seems to me that those of us who are into tickling often fall into thinking our thoughts, feelings, and actions are somehow unique. They are unique in that the central thesis involves some aspect of tickling, but otherwise, we share much in common with the rest of humanity.

The wonderful thing about tickling (or any other fetish, preference, desire, obsession, etc, etc) is that it covers a broad spectrum from silly, innocent fun to deeply erotic intimacy. Our community is hopefully broad enough to encompass every variation within the tickle spectrum.

Suppose you enjoy tickling to any aspect of sex, great. There is room for you. If tickling is an integral part of sex for you, there is a seat for you in tickleland.

There is no right or wrong way to express an interest in tickling. The bottom line is, are you happy where you are? Yes, carry on. No, dig deeper to find out why and figure out what to do about it.

I can't imagine sex without tickling. But that is just me. What works for me may not work for you. If you can't imagine sex, period, but tickling is the cat's meow, enjoy. Or maybe you compartmentalize the two - sex but no tickling and tickling but no sex.

An infinite number of ways to go. None better or worse than any other.

 

[hopefulscrambl]

Honestly? I've never been interested in sex. Like, at all.
I'm only interested in the fetish part.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Having sex while doing the tickling or being tickled feels great. Personally I’d rather tickle because after the orgasm the sex is over with

 

[Tickleslave83]

I'm also a 41-year-old Virgin but it's also true that I'm really only into my fetishes, I barely ever fantasize about actual sexual intercourse, not that there would be a bad thing, but I think if it didn't incorporate one of my fetishes that it probably wouldn't be all that satisfying. Most of my fantasies concern tickling, omorashi or embarrassing one-sided nudity, I don't think that I could get in the mood for actual regular sex without those things, so for me it's basically fetishes more than anything, I don't really have all that much desire for regular vanilla sexual intercourse in all honesty. In fact for a long time I thought I was probably asexual just because that wasn't my primary desire.

 

[duderino84]

Despite years of looking at pictures of naked women, and being a 31 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend, I'd still rather satisfy my fetishes than have sex. Obviously, my lack of experience, and therefore my lack of knowledge, plays a huge part in that. However, I can get turned on from my foot fetish and tickle fetish alone, so I never felt any sexual desire outside of those two things. Another thing to mention is I get grossed out over bodily fluids due to my squeamishness. There is a concern about STDs, but that's minimal because we can get tested beforehand. If I were to look into trying out sex for the first time, I'll look up videos or articles about how to have safe sex.

Which do you prefer and why?

I'm not going to pick, but I'm about a decade older than you and have been in the same track (interest in tickling, partial to intercourse), so I'm going to offer some perspective on agingwith this interest.

If you don't date often, or have substantial opportunities, the world gets confusing.

You continue to meet prospects, but the lines are blurred into the context of the fetishes. What's monogamy? What's polygamy? What if you don't want just one person to play with? What counts as sex? What's considered cheating? What if you don't want to "settle down"? How do you meet people who aren't just fixated on all the same shit?

I can accept that I have my fetish. The thing is, I'm not sure if anyone else can! It all redirects back to this assumption that I want kids and marriage! But I can accept that none of the tickling is actual sex!

 

[ManInDistress]

I'm older than you and have also never had sex, and would much prefer fetish play for a couple of reasons. First off, if it's sexual release I want, I can always jerk off. Secondly, I'm also worried about std's.

I've never had a romantic relationship and have no interest in such things, for a while I felt that made me unusal, but recently I've come to realize that isn't that uncommon.

 

[BlasterMaster]

I mean, I eventually craved companionship not just due to lack of romance but also due to the fact that I was lonely. I realized that eventually my parents were no longer going to be walking this Earth, my friends might not be there anymore, and the only two people I would have in my life might just be my little sis and her wife. While that last part is not a bad thing I'd like to have more than just two people in my life to spend time with.

 

[FootballGuy]

My life experience definitely falls opposite most of the people in here. Have had LOTS of sex and girlfriends but had very few tickling experiences until I met my current girlfriend who has kinks of her own so it worked out well. Nearly all of my tickling experiences were paid sessions previously.

If I had to choose, it would depend on my mood. Probably 60/40 tickling.

 

[Lictrix]

Wait, people still have sex?

I’ve had plenty in the past, but it was vanilla and not at all satisfying to my kink needs.

For years now I’ve been ENM/Poly, and demisexual. I do have one partner with whom I occasionally do sexy stuff, they’re not a primary, and we do far more tickling than sex.

I definitely prefer nonsexual kink these days. I’m way more willing and interested in doing kinky things with people who genuinely interest me than I am interested in having sex.