Help me! I'm becoming a Suburbanite!!!!

[Cbarton]

First it was the hedge clippers. Then the self-propelled push mower. Now, we got a new gas grill!

This country boy is slowy becoming a citified suburbanite!!!!

What do I do?

How do I make it stop????? :wooha: 😉

 

[Goodieluver]

buy charcoal

 

[Ignatz]

Oh, dear Lord...you should've come to me sooner, son! That gas grill could have been prevented in the planning stage; now, we'll probably have to amputate. Don't worry, though. Once it's gone, we'll get you fitted with a prosthetic substitute: a big, black, wood-burning smoker should do nicely. (A Brinkmann or a New Braunfels, maybe.)
And start countrifying your routine and your habitat. A vegetable garden will help. If you can start your own compost heap, that'll be even better. And if you do it right, you can call it a family farm and Willie Nelson will come over and perform in your back yard.
Rifle practice at least once a week is good. If necessary, raise the height of your back fence. Hitting the neighbors or their windows, pets, etc. is a waste of ammo.

Please tell me you haven't traded in your pickup on an SUV!

 

[Cbarton]

Please tell me you haven't traded in your pickup on an SUV!

No...I traded my Chevette for the Jeep....

 

[nessonite1]

What do I do?

How do I make it stop?????
__________________

Uh oh...it's all over for you, buddy!
Tell you what...you can't stop it completely but you CAN slow things down a little. Take this [holy book of choice] and place your right hand on it. Use your left hand if you're missing your right hand or if you've been doing something nasty with it...
Vow you will not trade the mower for a rideon unless you live on 3 or more acres.
Vow you will use ONLY charcoal or wood and if your grill will not support these you're making a trip to Home Depot right away.
Vow you will NEVER wear socks with sandals.
And remember...all hope is not lost as long as you live in KY...for we all know there are no truly civilised people in the south. 😀