here's an idea

[Slappy McGee]

I hear sooo much talk on here about how people are hiding their fetish and trying not to offend their significant others..... well, lets play this game.......

suppose you open up to your lover about your fetish and use it for a gateway to let them open up about their interests or fetishes....

this might seem absurd, but really lets look at it.... everyone on here pretty much has said that they have opened up about tickling to pretty much positive responses.... so it is safe to assume it is a relatively mild fetish.....

why should we then expect that our interests are any more uncomfortable or bizarre than anyone else's are. according to popular opinion, it is a lot more normal than other fetishes.....

perhaps we should stop worrying so damn much about ourselves and start trying to open our partners up to the adventuresome sexual creature they surely are......

just a thougth..... why are we automatically on the vulnerable end?? anyone eve think about that??

 

[Maria_Rose]

I think you are absolutely right Slappy. Although it may be hard to open up, because of previous negative reactions or fear of rejection, it is well worth it to be honest. If that person is worth spending your life with, then it is very important to give them the chance to know what really brings you pleasure. If she/he can't accept you for who you are, and puts you down for it, then maybe it is questionable whether or not they are the one. But it's a really personal decision. I have had two serious relationships...the first one I was not honest about my fetish, and as a result there was a lack of sexual communication and interest. I was so busy trying to hide it that I missed out on all the good things you can gain from sharing with your partner. My second relationship is one which I have been totally honest in. Although it is only online (until this coming May wohooooooo!!!!) it has brought me more happiness than I could ever imagine. I urge people to be honest with their partners...otherwise what is the point?

 

[Cyrano]

Sort of on the subject, I was at a party once, sitting around watching Life of Brian. There was this girl there, Miriam, stunning red head, if she were a cartoon she would be Poison Ivy from the Batman cartoon, I think she's more attractive then the movie portrayal. She was sitting next to me and we were flirting, so I started tickling her, ribs, knees, feet, the whole basket. Then this punk, short kid I never got along with, attempted to make fun of me, references to Elmo, saying sorts of things about me having a foot fetish. This guy's a real rat, a weasle if you will. So I tells 'em, I says, "Maybe so, but you should be more concerned about finding another way to please a woman, because basically, I think we can all agree that you will not on the obvious course." Nothing clever, not a zinger, not even funny, but still everyone laughed at his expense. I wasn't proud to hurt his feelings, but I only turned the tables on him. More importantly, I did not deny anything he had to say, in fact, I acknowledged it infront of a lot of people and they didn't even raise an eyebrow. I still talk to them all, I still flirt with Miriam, I should call her this weekend. The point? Ah geez.....um....oh yeah, they didn't think I was odd, and it didn't change my relationship with anyone.

P.S. I hope no one finds my constant side tracking annoying, I noticed I do that a lot, I simply type whatever pops into my mind next.

 

[Dave2112]

I've always opened up to my partners about my fetish. Ok, not on the first date or anything, but it always comes out. It's not that I think less of a woman if she's not into it, but I know that any relationship where I have to hide anything about myself isn't going to work. Actually, only once has it ever gotten in the way of a relationship. I guess I've been lucky to have been with open-minded, ticklish ladies.

I always make the suggestion to open a partner up to light bondage first. In today's moderate society, it's a lot more acceptable to hear "can I tie you up?", rather than "can I tickle you?" More couples than not play with some form of bondage eventually, and once your partner is tied, it's easy to "slip" and tickle her/him. Bingo...open door!😀

 

[mpath]

I agree...with one added consideration

Once I discovered I had a tickling fetish I think I told my former s/o within a few days thereafter. After I'd stumbled across several sites on the net and everything "clicked" I couldn't wait to begin sharing that part of my life with her. Don't get me wrong, though. I was as nervous as could be--but excited too. Would she think I was "weird?" Would she allow me to tickle her? All these questions and more were in my head. To my astonishment and extreme delight, she did accept it and "indulge" me several times thereafter. All was well for the most part.

I must also add, though, I do think it's equally important to really know what you want/expect from your partner after you come forward with this personal side of yourself. I have learned--the hard way--that "tolerance" is different from "acceptance" and "acceptance" differs from "enjoyment" and "enjoyment" differs from "passion." Many here will readily admit they are passionate about tickling/being tickled. It may or may not be acceptable to them (in the long term) to have their passion be only "tolerated" by their s/o.

For me, as an engineer, it's fine if the woman I'm with is "tolerant" of my facination with science, technology, etc, but I've found it's not as OK if she only "tolerates" my inclination to tickle. Why? Because tickling epitomizes a sincere form of intimacy and closeness for me with a woman I'm with. I love to share it, but if SHE doesn't really want to receive (or enjoy receiving) it, I won't; I just can't. It loses all meaning for me. It would be the same if I were sharing a hug or a kiss or "vanilla" sex.

Basically, I learned that I need to be appreciated all the more BECAUSE of my love for tickling, not simply "accepted" in SPITE of it. The simple truth is, someone who tolerates it at first, may grow to accept it, but might never be passionate about it. And someone, who accepts it, could begin to enjoy it, or, less optimistically, could learn after a time that they only tolerate it...or worse. The possiblities are endless (although it seems unlikely to me that someone who honestly enjoys it, or is passionate about it could ever start to dislike it).

So for any about to take the "plunge" and confide in their s/o, I wholeheartedly support it. I only offer these words (based on my expereinces) in hopes that they will help you to be clear about what your longer term needs/expectations really are.

Go for it!

just my $0.02

 

[SteelGut]

I know it can be ahrd to tell about your fetish sometimes. I used to be ashamed of what people thought about it, especially during my teenage years. But since I'm 20, I started to be a little bit more open about it and right now I can't feel better. I had many kinds of fetishes, some really worse than tickling, and so tickling was the first one I started to deliberately talk of in front of my ex-girlfriends.

Was I lucky? None of them rejected me, and it was the exact opposite of what I had feared for so many years, they really wanted to give it a try. Most of them were doing it just to please me, but some of them really got into it and I can say that I am really lucky to know these girls now because I can have a good time with them without fear of being judged.

I definitely think that by sharing your fetish, the benefits you gain from it really overcome the bad sides it can bring (if any, none in my case!)

 

[tommytickler]

i dunno with me it isn't like i want to tell people but it's hard, i really don't want anyone to know about it. it something i really would like to keep secret from people i know. i won't tell girlfriends because i'm afraid they'll tell their friends and then the secret will be out (especially when the breakup happens) and i just don't want my friends to know this about me. it's a part of my life i keep private. but thats just me.

 

[Maria_Rose]

That's cool Tommy. I can relate, I know there was a time in my life when telling my secret would have had serious social repercussions. It's just a matter of your individual situation is all.

 

[Slappy McGee]

It can be difficult....

I know it can be really difficult and scary as hell to bring up such a personal and touchy subject, especially when you think you are in such a minority of people who enjoy it.... but there are much subtler ways of letting people know about your interests than giving a 20 minute speech to them on the topic of "My fetishes, and how I wish to use them."......I'll give an example of something truly magnificent that happened to me just this last weekend....

I just so happened to find myself spending the weekend with a very close female friend I had barely seen in over five years... I knew that this girls was simply not ticklish and also that she loved having her feet played with from past experiences... but those were back when I would sooner lose a hand than admit I had an interest in feet and tickling. We watched a movie, and her feet ended up close enough to me on the couch that I gave a test tickle just to see, then said "you still aren't ticklish?" "no" she answered "but if I remember, you do really like this, right" I said (having her feet stroked) "I love it!" she replied.....

this led to an almost half hour discussion between us where we talked about how much she likes having her feet played with , how much I liked doing it... when and where she was occasionally ticklish, how she liked having her toes sucked, each of our ex's that would and wouldn't endulge us in our interests, even why I think ticklish feet are more fun to play with..... never once was the word "Fetish" brought up or used.... and quite frankly it didn't need to be.. I was frank with her about what I like and she was with me... perhaps her interests go as far as a fetish, perhaps not. what I do know is that we found out that my interests put together with her interests make us both pretty damn happy. I'sn't that what opening up about this stuff is all about?

many posters here have said... it doesn't have to be a monumental thing to mention that you have an interest in something a bit more interesting than the run of the mill secual attittude... and if you don't make a huge production of it, most people won't either...

of course, not everyone will meet with such acceptance as I did recently, but if you wait to get to know someone, you can get an idea of what they might or might not enjoy ahead of time, and it might not be so much of a risk then....

just figured I'd share because it seemed relative to the topic....even if only slightly related to tickling.