High Standards?

[LolWat]

Hey all,

I was talking to a friend today about ending relationships due to changing standards as a result of improving oneself.

I feel almost guilty saying it, but as I improve my own aesthetics, knowledge base, personality, etc. my standards tend to scale much higher and for some reason, I can't view past partners in the same light.

At the cost of sounding conceited, I can't consider someone relationship material unless they are intelligent, attractive, sociable, kind, and enjoy tickling.

As much as I try to ignore the feeling, I cannot and I was wondering if any of you have shared similar experiences

 

[socktickler86]

I can't see myself being with someone who is not at least somewhat intelligent and kind as well. I don't think anyone can blame anyone else for having standards. Remember, only crazy people claim they're in love with people whom they hate everything about..... at least in my opinion 🙂.

 

[Leo tickles]

I've had some pretty out there standards and people continue to meet them if the situation presents itself. I look at standards as the basics, not the end all be all.

Anybody can match any standard you come up with but that doesn't always mean that you will get along as people.

 

[BostonTickling]

I don't consider myself someone with "high standards" because, in a relationship I believe it takes time for someone to really reveal themselves, and for their true self to come to light. That being said, I consider myself the luckiest man on the planet to be with who I am currently with. She is hands down the most beautiful and wonderful person I have ever known. And I know if I sailed the 7 seas for an eternity, I couldn't find anyone that would remotely hold a flame to her in terms of sheer awesomeness. As I said, I am one lucky gentleman.

 

[chicago]

I think everyone has standards and most people share the same basic ones like: physical attraction, intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, affectionate, etc. If you have an entire checklist a person has to meet before they qualify as dating material, I might rethink things. At any rate, I don't think I have high standards at all, but I definitely hit the jackpot with my bambino. Meeting standards never even entered my mind. He blows all other guys out of the water.

 

[Jagermeistered]

You can structure your life however way you want too. But, you can't structure your future relationships. Just words of wisdom...

I've done what you are doing. And, I don't regret it for one second!

 

[Tickleslave83]

Not so much high standards as very specific preferences. Outside of those preferences I really feel very little attraction towards anyone which limits my options I suppose.

 

[socktickler86]

To add to what's been said, I also see no problem in having standards because sometimes standards aren't even enough!

I don't think anyone here would find it a stretch of the imagination to think that there exists a person whos intelligent, sociable, good looking, into tickling, and kind that you would just absolutely hate. Why? there's so much more to a person than can be summed up in words.

I think that's one of the wonders (and at times, downright annoying parts) of loving someone. You can have two very similar people and be downright head over heels for one and not care much for the other.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I admittedly have pretty high standards. Not necessarily for the person, but in terms of what I want out of the them and the relationship. I think that relationships have the potential to be amazing and fulfilling and wonderful and really make your life something more than it could ever be when you're by yourself. That said, I think that relationships are also a hell of a lot of work, and some of the things you have to do and put up with to be in a relationship are fairly horrific. You have to put up with so many obligations and expectations from your partner, their family, their friends. You have to worry about their thoughts and feelings and take them into consideration before you make any decisions. It's all a really ginormous inconvenience and hassle, and to be honest I don't think it's worth it if the relationship isn't absolutely incredible.

I refuse to settle for a person or relationship that is just mediocre. I don't expect perfection - that's unrealistic - but I do expect not to have to put up with certain kinds of bullshit. Lying, insults, controlling behavior, jealousy - ugh. It literally disgusts me, and I don't have time for any of it.

Oh, and I'm not gonna lie - I can't get down with someone shorter than me.

 

[Persephone]

I admittedly have pretty high standards. Not necessarily for the person, but in terms of what I want out of the them and the relationship. I think that relationships have the potential to be amazing and fulfilling and wonderful and really make your life something more than it could ever be when you're by yourself. That said, I think that relationships are also a hell of a lot of work, and some of the things you have to do and put up with to be in a relationship are fairly horrific. You have to put up with so many obligations and expectations from your partner, their family, their friends. You have to worry about their thoughts and feelings and take them into consideration before you make any decisions. It's all a really ginormous inconvenience and hassle, and to be honest I don't think it's worth it if the relationship isn't absolutely incredible.

I refuse to settle for a person or relationship that is just mediocre. I don't expect perfection - that's unrealistic - but I do expect not to have to put up with certain kinds of bullshit. Lying, insults, controlling behavior, jealousy - ugh. It literally disgusts me, and I don't have time for any of it.

Oh, and I'm not gonna lie - I can't get down with someone shorter than me.

I completely agree 100% Skippy! Your insight is right on. Everyone has standards, it's only realistic but you also have to look for what you want out of the entire relationship itself and be realistic about that! Very good insight!

 

[chicago]

Oh, and I'm not gonna lie - I can't get down with someone shorter than me.

lol Yeah, that's a deal breaker.

 

[LolWat]

good thing I'm 6'1 ^.^

and about the whole perfection thing, I agree wholeheartedly.

Happiness lies within the medium between pragmatism and idealism