I just happened upon this and want to iterate some things on what you are saying; I personally have a love/hate relationship with this forum, mostly because I think that once we put elements of sexuality into play, things grow complicated. There are a lot of people I've held correspondences with that I don't anymore, be it for whatever reason (whether it is by my vocation or theirs), and that plays a major role in that. It's not that I don't want to meet interesting people; it's that I am currently unsure of who you can trust and what you can trust and whether a mutual kink is enough of a common ground to bring me to other people.
There reason for this is simple; this fetish, while it is a big part of my sexual life, is not something that controls me. But it can, because, like most, sexual drive can be a real bitch. I also have peaks and valleys that are beyond my understanding in my behavioral patterns. As someone who seeks control over these things, it becomes difficult when some emotion crops up that makes very little sense.
I think sex complicates things. As tickling equates to sexuality for me, that makes it rather difficult. I've lost more than my fair share of good favor because of things like that and because of philosophical differences that amount to a hill of shit in my everyday life. So I think I hate the TMF for feeling like that sort of an enclosed outlet for something that, otherwise, stays repressed.
Like you, I haven't had a single girlfriend, over the course of my life, push away from me when I tell them about this fetish. Maybe I am different than most, but the reason I believe I have this fetish is because I love touching someone. I love people being happy. I love the idea that there is a response from my hands on someone's body. And I'd rather explore that then anything. I'd rather feel her whole body and make sex an experience than just a quick thing to be done in five minutes. Anyone I've been with romantically fucking melts because...quite frankly...who wouldn't? Not from me, but from a significant other who cares so much about something so important that it transcends their own needs...where their needs actually commingle and matter equally? If this is wrong then I have absolutely no interest in being correct.
But you more than likely should closet this off from people because, quite frankly, we live in a society that is about controlling other people. Controlling them by making them dance on strings. Controlling them by threats and controlling them with exclusion and controlling them whichever way because people are selfish objectivist cretins. But everyone has a secret.
There are good people here though. The actual thought process of normality is unfulfillable, so it isn't worth pursuing. So make of this what you want to, whether it be as is the intention as far as acting as a vendor for wares, or talk with people. Judge yourself on your standards, not on 'That Guy'. Because...seriously...fuck 'That Guy'.
