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how different is it to have a girlfriend that has a kid to one who doesnt?

E

Ekdall98

TMF Expert
Joined
Oct 20, 2007
Messages
420
Points
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ok i need insight on this. i have always dated women that havent had kids and i have had my reasons for that. but my current girlfriend has a kid and ot has changed things quite a bit. i was wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has any insight on this.
 
I wouldn't see it as a bad thing personally. But, I'm biased I have a 5 month old. I would think if anything you would have alot more fun! heh. 😛
 
My most recent-ex had a kid. It really wasn't a big deal as he was like 14 and basically just sat there on his 360 all the time.
 
Right out of high school I had the same thought you did. But then I thought of some of my close friends that had a kid and realized "I sure wouldn't want people to not go out with them for that reason" and that pretty much changed my thinking overnight. I've dated two people since with a kid, and came pretty damn close to getting engaged to one of them. Of all the people I've ever dated, those two were the best of the bunch. It takes a great deal of compassion to be a good parent, and that "usually" transcends to their personality as well.

The question is more on you, and how do you feel about kids. Even if they have a dad in their life, if you were to get married to this person down the road, it becomes part of your life too. Understand that and search yourself. If you don't want a kid in your life or don't want to deal with it, don't lead her on, and cut it off early, because you then essentially have two people falling for you(her and her kid). But you may find out like I did that it didn't matter one bit. If you really care for her, it's just one more thing to love about her. Don't let it scare you away. Good luck.
 
KrazieDog said:
Right out of high school I had the same thought you did. But then I thought of some of my close friends that had a kid and realized "I sure wouldn't want people to not go out with them for that reason" and that pretty much changed my thinking overnight. I've dated two people since with a kid, and came pretty damn close to getting engaged to one of them. Of all the people I've ever dated, those two were the best of the bunch. It takes a great deal of compassion to be a good parent, and that "usually" transcends to their personality as well.

The question is more on you, and how do you feel about kids. Even if they have a dad in their life, if you were to get married to this person down the road, it becomes part of your life too. Understand that and search yourself. If you don't want a kid in your life or don't want to deal with it, don't lead her on, and cut it off early, because you then essentially have two people falling for you(her and her kid). But you may find out like I did that it didn't matter one bit. If you really care for her, it's just one more thing to love about her. Don't let it scare you away. Good luck.
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Very well said!
 
KrazieDog said:
Right out of high school I had the same thought you did. But then I thought of some of my close friends that had a kid and realized "I sure wouldn't want people to not go out with them for that reason" and that pretty much changed my thinking overnight. I've dated two people since with a kid, and came pretty damn close to getting engaged to one of them. Of all the people I've ever dated, those two were the best of the bunch. It takes a great deal of compassion to be a good parent, and that "usually" transcends to their personality as well.

The question is more on you, and how do you feel about kids. Even if they have a dad in their life, if you were to get married to this person down the road, it becomes part of your life too. Understand that and search yourself. If you don't want a kid in your life or don't want to deal with it, don't lead her on, and cut it off early, because you then essentially have two people falling for you(her and her kid). But you may find out like I did that it didn't matter one bit. If you really care for her, it's just one more thing to love about her. Don't let it scare you away. Good luck.
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thanks for all the responces krazie dog i appreciate what you have to say it helps me. its feels nice that so many people have answered this. glamourous why would it be more fun i wanna know. you do sound like fun so im curious. thank you for everyone who has answered 😀
 
Ekdall98 said:
thanks for all the responces krazie dog i appreciate what you have to say it helps me. its feels nice that so many people have answered this. glamourous why would it be more fun i wanna know. you do sound like fun so im curious. thank you for everyone who has answered 😀
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Because I get to play all day long and watch cartoons! :blaugh: That and I don't have to worry about any real life issues cause for that moment they don't matter and I just happy being able to play with my son! Until he decides to pinch me of course! It's surreal for the most part!
 
My recent ex had a kid and she didnt tell me about him until an incident happened at a party that we were at that upset her. Then the news spilled.

I just decided to make a long story short
 
then we get to play tag and in the sand castle and even on the swings! 😀
 
hell ill be 22 on the 18th im expecting something from you glamorous 😀
 
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