How do I ask...?

[TummyRaspberry]

Hey everyone!

Now I have a dilemma on my hands. first off before I ask you for advice, I want to make 2 things clear:

1.) I, personally, do not find tickling or being tickled sexual or erotic in any way at all. It's merely playful and goofy and that's it.

And...

2.) I have always had an extremely close bond with my family and tickling has always been a big part of my family's lives for many, many, generations.

Ok! Now on to my question:

I'm 18 and don't very often get tickled by my family much anymore. Maybe it's because I'm 18 and considered grown-up now. But lately I've must say I admit that I really miss being tickled at family events, like my birthday, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc.

Now, specifically, what I want is for three of my family members to tickle me again at these holidays and anytime they want to. These three relatives are both my grandmas and my mom. But here's my problem: as close as I am to them(I'd never hide anything from them) I'm very nervous to ask them to do this stuff again.

BUT... there's more.

I don't want them to just poke and wiggle their fingers on my tummy. What I really want is for them to hold/pin me down and blow raspberries on my tummy. So my question, I guess, is:

What would be the best/easiest way for me to ask both my grandmothers and my mom to pin/hold me down, tickle, and blow raspberries on my tummy at family events/gatherings/holidays/anytime they want?

Thanks in advance for your help everyone!!!

 

[ElFewja]

I'm sorry. Regardless of how you interpret it, I don't imagine that your family is going to be so comfortable with this request; it will be awkward no matter how you ask, if you choose to do so, and I don't think it will go well. I'd beat the old dead horse of Oedipus some, but well.. it doesn't work and it isn't the most relevant. I do think that they'd interpret this request as something like that, even if you didn't intend it, and I think that due to your insistence that it must be your grandmothers and mother as opposed to any other relation.

I think that typically these sorts of bonds transition from family to loved ones, so I would recommend bringing it up with a significant other instead.

Regardless of how you feel about it, you have to take in the other person's/peoples feelings as well, and I think that you may be invading their privacy by asking; unlike a significant other relationship, I'm not so sure that this privacy should be breached.

But if others disagree with me I'd be willing to listen to their arguments.

Etc~

 

[TummyRaspberry]

I understand what you're saying, but they have made jokes about doing it in the past and have lightly tickled my sides too. Usually they don't do much more than that and then usually say something in effect to "you're too old, but if you really want us too...". And usually I say no mostly because I'm too nervous to say yes.

And I do know that my family considers it playful and not sexual. That's the message we always give each other since noone ever tickles friends, the tickling stays in the family.

Furthermore, they did tickle and raspberry(and have done so several times since) a cousin of mine who is in her 20s. So they wouldn't be uncomfortable with it.

Also the reason I say my grandmothers and my mom is because they are the primary ticklers. They were the ones who almost always tickled me.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

You're probably not going to get very many positive responses to this. Despite the fact that you don't find tickling to be sexual, many people here do and are going to have a hard time removing that aspect of it before answering. For me, personally, family + tickling = , so it's even difficult for me to come up with something that might be helpful. That having been said, I'm gonna try 🙂

In platonic, non-familial relationships, most of the tickling I've experienced (outside the TMF) has been from being caught in a physically vulnerable position, and usually by accident. (I've never really been one for intentionally provoking tickling in my vanilla world - just seemed weird to me.) If you don't have the patience for that, maybe talk about how much fun it was and how much of a bonding experience you felt it to be. Then mention how you miss those days in general. If they say the "if you really want us to..." thing, don't say no. You can say "yeah right" or "get outta here" - something that isn't a yes, but isn't a no either. If it's a natural part of your personality, (and you won't hurt anyone's feelings) you also could tease them about how they're too old to get the better of you anymore. You're a grown man and blah blah blah.

Good luck! 🙂

 

[TangerineTicklee]

You're probably not going to get very many positive responses to this. Despite the fact that you don't find tickling to be sexual, many people here do and are going to have a hard time removing that aspect of it before answering. For me, personally, family + tickling = , so it's even difficult for me to come up with something that might be helpful. That having been said, I'm gonna try 🙂

In platonic, non-familial relationships, most of the tickling I've experienced (outside the TMF) has been from being caught in a physically vulnerable position, and usually by accident. (I've never really been one for intentionally provoking tickling in my vanilla world - just seemed weird to me.) If you don't have the patience for that, maybe talk about how much fun it was and how much of a bonding experience you felt it to be. Then mention how you miss those days in general. If they say the "if you really want us to..." thing, don't say no. You can say "yeah right" or "get outta here" - something that isn't a yes, but isn't a no either. If it's a natural part of your personality, (and you won't hurt anyone's feelings) you also could tease them about how they're too old to get the better of you anymore. You're a grown man and blah blah blah.

Good luck! 🙂

Wholeheartedly agreed. O-O

@TummyRaspberry - I'm just curious, but ... what would happen if someone happened to be a member of your family and they hated being tickled by family members, and requested that it not be done to them? Would that be respected or would it be ignored? I'm just wondering. My family abused me with it and they only did it on occasion just to be mean to me, knowing that I hated it as a kid, hence the fact that I think family tickling - just like Skip here - is nauseating. =X

 

[MrTicklefeet]

I understand what you're saying, but they have made jokes about doing it in the past and have lightly tickled my sides too. Usually they don't do much more than that and then usually say something in effect to "you're too old, but if you really want us too...". And usually I say no mostly because I'm too nervous to say yes.
Also the reason I say my grandmothers and my mom is because they are the primary ticklers. They were the ones who almost always tickled me.

Well there you go. It sounds like there's been an opportunity for this, but you said no out of nervousness. They were respecting your decision. Had you said yes, I'm sure the outcome would have been different. You could try talking to your mom about this and fessing up that you would really like this. Sounds like there are options here.

 

[marcusb]

Hmm. This has awkward written all over it.

I'd suggest having your SO do it instead.

 

[skulnbone7]

Hmm. This has awkward written all over it.

I'd suggest having your bf do it instead.

I agree with marcusb this seems awkward and strange.
I also suggest you just find someone else to tickle you, there are people here and out here that are like you and don't find it sexual.
They also love to do it just for the fun of it, but what you want seems odd.

This is not meant to be negative, please don't take it that way.

 

[Ashleyyy]

@ marcusb, it's a guy.

I think it's a little awkward. |:

 

[marcusb]

Oops. Didn't notice the OPs gender. Pardon.

@ marcusb, it's a guy.

I think it's a little awkward. |:

 

[Mattyyy]

Hmmm... interesting

*makes long note on clipboard recommending psychiatric help*

 

[Ashleyyy]

@MrTicklefeet

I was merely correcting Marcus, I'd find asking a family member to tickle you awkward regardless of gender. It's just how I am, I have no problems with the tickling that occurs, but asking them to is just awkward, to me personally.

 

[ElFewja]

I think you're inferring too much from too little; nobody has specifically said that, because he is a guy, that it is awkward. People have said that he is a guy and that it is also an awkward situation but... if he was a she it would still be awkward. Gender doesn't play a role in this (except for the case where the guy is looking for models, but yeah). Here's to hoping that that hasn't derailed the topic all that much.

At any rate; you do say that they had teased you about it, so there's a chance that it's feasible. I wouldn't push it, though. As for your 20 year old cousin, it makes me wonder about the nature of tickling in general; is it more natural within society to tickle girls, or else more accepted? I would say yes, basing it upon the (stupid and dated) way girls still appear within society. It's only relevant in that it might make you being a target less likely.

I still say SO, and I still say so because I think that these sort of bonds are supposed to migrate throughout our lives from family to friends to lovers regardless of their nature.

But yeah I'm probably not the best to answer any of your questions; I'm totally a black sheep among my family, and I can't honestly remember any physical contact I've had with my parents, so yeah.

Best of luck, though~

Etc~

 

[ViperGTS]

Please understand that this is a website where people come who have a tickling fetish - meaning, the overwhelming majority here will find what you're asking to be any combination of the following - immoral, awkward, disgusting, wrong, incestuous. It's simply because of the way we are.

I wish you the best of luck, though, if you do truly just find tickling to be fun in a non-sexual way.

 

[ElFewja]

Viper, I would actually disagree with you; I think that the majority feel that way, but not all. Or at least there is a demographic that thinks that they do not find it sexual; that they just enjoy tickling or being tickled for fun/pleasure/what have you. At the very least, the op seems to feel this way.

But yeah, like Skip said, that's not why the majority come here, so that they'll react in the way you have described.

Do I actually believe what I said? Not really; but some people believe this about themselves, so I'll speak up for them. Besides, I never claim to know everything.

Etc~

 

[ViperGTS]

...the overwhelming majority here will find what you're asking to be any combination of the following - immoral, awkward, disgusting, wrong, incestuous. It's simply because of the way we are.

Viper, I would actually agree with you; I think that the majority feel that way, but not all.

I fixed it for you.

Re-read what I posted, my friend. I didn't say everyone felt that way - I just expressed my belief that the majority do.

 

[BionicFingers]

I say go for it. The family that plays together stays together

 

[ElFewja]

Blagh D:. Oh well. I tried.

Etc~